RSV season warning in family chat

I have never worried that I was about to die from a common cold. I don't have any respiratory issues and am a healthy adult but I was fighting so hard to get my next breath when I had RSV and once or twice I didn't think I'd manage it.

Because people like OP thought their need to put their scruffy lips on babies that are not theirs trumped my child’s health.

Don’t. Kiss. Kids. That. Aren’t. Yours.

Really simple, not controversial, hope that helps xxx

OP - I've read all your posts.

You sound like you've never been up night after night after night looking after a sick child while grinding through the infection yourself.

You sound callous and awful and honestly, if you tell the mother you are not going to see them 'till April, I don't think they'll miss you.

It’s more representative than you would think. Plenty of healthy children are hospitalised with RSV/bronchitis every single year (worked on children’s wards for a long time).
My own child has been on a few occasions and is normally perfectly healthy.

Your sister in law is being a bit overkill as bugs will come their way at nursery ect anyway.
However she must have a reason for feeling this way and you don’t really need to kiss them, cuddles are enough so just let it be and enjoy your time with your family. It’s not really about you, she’s obviously got concerns for whatever reason.

Even to a perfectly healthy 4mth old it can be deadly. Their Airways are so delicate they can collapse at any moment once they contract RSV.
Why would you even consider risking the life of a baby through something as simple as not kissing them and washing your hands??

I'm so very sorry 💐.

You've clearly never sat in hospital watching your baby struggling to breathe on a ventilator after catching RSV because someone thought you were being pedantic and kissed your baby anyway.....
Being told my baby could go 'either way' in the next 48hrs was the worst time in my life

Please do this!!

I can see exactly why the SIL pitched it in a fairly benign way in a family chat rather than speaking to the OP. This type of overreaction to things won’t be a one-off.

OP, why have you taken this personally? You are acting like you feel shamed. It’s an absolutely reasonable request from the children’s mother

Did you not actually read what they said?

People are just being obtuse on here. A parent saying ‘don’t kiss my child’ isn’t trying to shield them from the entire world so they never catch a cold again and ruin all their social skills. They are thinking what can I do to mitigate risks in a small way while not ruining their day to day life - washing hands, encouraging kid not to lick the floor, not getting kissed by wider family and friends. It’s not an over reaction, it’s a reasonable basic request not to do something totally unnecessary, that might just help avoid a cold or two.

Why would a perfectly normal request get someone's back up though? OP probably shouldn't have been kissing the children to start with, it's not necessary.

So how did your kid end up with it then?

I've never kissed another persons child.

It's the way it was announced on a group Whatsapp chat that would have got my back up (and prob OPs too)

If someone was doing 4 free days of childcare a month for me I'd discuss it with them directly - not announce the terms & conditions in a group chat.

A conversation next time they met , or if that was too much for SIL a direct message saying 'i really appreciate the free childcare, I'm really worrying about RSV this year there's been a few kids get real sick with it, can we all be careful with hand washing etc & no kissing - blowing kisses instead would be lovely, thanks DSil' would have done the job.

Of course they can, that’s the case with absolutely everything, but you minimise the risks where you can and a really easy way to do that is to simply tell people not to put their MOUTH on your child. There’s no need for anyone to do that anyway.

My child is thriving thankfully, I’ll stick to the facts and precautions that are proven to help reduce the risks rather than this bollocks thanks!

I hinted at that upthread.
It's a really bizarre overreaction from OP.
Nobody needs to kiss a child.

My child died from RSV she wasn’t immune suppressed or ill before - just a very sad situation.
Since then I have had severe health anxiety so if she doesn’t want you to kiss them just don’t it’s not that hard and gives her some peace of mind.

The more determined OP is off her right to kiss the children I can’t help but wonder if this is a way the SIL is trying to implement some boundaries either regards to kissing.

Why do you feel such a strong need to kiss them though? Theres no request not to hug, or any other demands one might deem silly.

She is simply doing what she can to practically minimise risk. People often don’t have much choice about nursery. Some of the responses here are really weird. Is it that weird to go a few months without kissing someone else’s child? Even if it is, that’s at the discretion of the parent and the parent only

Christ, I am so thankful my family/inlaws are nice

You know they could catch that anywhere? And will definitely come into contact with the virus at nursery & school. You would have to isolate your child from all other children & all public places every winter.
Your kid will end up more at risk from the isolation & failure to develop socially than from the RSV.

If you’re going to spout shite at least don’t embarrass yourself by getting it completely wrong and having not even bothered to do a quick google which would have told you- RSV can affect people of all ages but can be especially serious in infants & toddlers- particularly those under 2.

So yes, toddlers, not just new babies.

If you need to put your mouth on someone else’s child to settle them then it’s time for you to learn some new settling tips anyway!

What is it about being asked not to kiss someone else’s child that’s making you so furious? If you were a man getting so mad about being asked not to kiss other peoples toddlers and everyone would be calling you a creep.

Not for free, no.

If SIL wants to set terms & conditions (which she has every right to as they are her kids) then she needs to pay a baby sitter.