New DP useless around the house

There was a good article years ago but a bloke who finally realised why he was dumped over leaving a cup on the side. That it wasn't that cup, but the drip drip drip of poor behaviour. He got it, but too late.

If he pees on the seat, the floor, or anywhere other than in the bowl, he has to sit down.

If he hasn’t learned how to do it by the age of 28 he never will. And if he hasn’t learned how to take an equal, effective share of domestic work by this age he never will. He certainly won’t pull his weight if you have kids together. I really would take his behaviour as his true self- and his true self thinks it’s your job to clean up his piss. Do you really want that to be your life?

I remember reading somewhere that every time a partner does something that makes work for you unecessarily its like saying "Fuck you (your name)". So when they leave a cup on the side instead of the dishwasher, a towel on the floor, dirty washing on the bed etc etc it is akin to them saying "Fuck You".
Imagine that OP, is it so funny now?

It's still your house, he and his spraying don't have to be in it. My cat behaves better than that.

Also I have lived with 17 different men in my adult life and every single one of them left the toilet clean after using it.

OP, I work in the adult social care sector with adult men whose learning disabilities and lack of physical dexterity are so profound that they cannot read or write, recognise numbers or make themselves the most basic kind of meals.

And they can go to the toilet without urinating on the seat. If they should happen to miss, I would guide them back to the toilet, and guide them through clearing up after themselves. And they would do so! I am not paid to do things that they can do for themselves.

Why are you considering having sexual relations with this man? Either he's feigning this level of incompetence to get you to be his maid, or he lacks the cognitive capacity to be having sex. Either possibility should leave you so repulsed that you're dryer than the Sahara desert.

Piss taking and piss making... all over the floor... by the sounds of it.

@HanhanRuns I know you were being a bit light-hearted in your OP but honestly this sounds an awful situation and his response to you when you raised it is incredibly immature and unhelpful. He doesn't sound like he cares at all. I would honestly give him a deadline and a set of behaviours that he needs to have 'learned' by then - or else show him the door. Your home is your sanctuary - it's very disrespectful for him to treat it, and you, this way.

Unless he's 10/10 in bed throw him back...
Still no
That dirty rat needs to go.

if he is actually young enough to be struggling with aim - please report yourself to the police. But i see he is a grown ass adult (and therefore over 8) so it’s just rank.

Did he not ever help his mum around the house? Did he regard it as someone else's job to clear up after him all his life? Did nobody ever say 'you make the mess, you clear it up? Or 'this is your house too, we all pull together?'

Because if that's how he lived then he's going to expect that you will clear up after him. He's never lived on his own so he's clearly never worked out that the household fairies aren't a real thing. Or rather, he could, but he just doesn't want to.

Sorry but Mum of boys here and they all know they should aim into the toilet properly, otherwise they get an ear bashing.
I’m the only female in my house yet I’m not constantly stepping in wee and my 12 year old knows how to put a wash on in the machine and cook a basic meal.
I tell him when he’s rolling his eyes at me that I don’t want him to be one of those useless lumps that poor partners have to moan about online.
I would be saying he has to shape up or go back to living apart. Tradung sexual favours for chores is just a bit grim tbh so wouldn’t follow that advise…. Unless it’s to say that constantly mopping up his urine and his lack of basic skills is a massive turn off.

That’s gross, my 9 year old understands toilet manners! When he visits other people’s houses does he piss all over their bathrooms too?

I’d be bloody mortified if my sons girlfriend was experiencing this!

I’d be packing his stuff up (as he’s likely unable to do that!) and send him back!

My son stopped pissing all over the toilet/floor from around 4.
I appreciate that on occasion men can miss so what anyone who isn't a complete scumbag does is just clean it up
Maybe DS and DH have terrible aim but I wouldn't know .

Tell him he needs to be fully functioning adult capable of carrying out all chores by 30 Sep or he needs to move out.

Even hot sex isn't worth his piss taking.

Saying he is learning is such an obvious attempt to play on your inner mummy. Tell him to come back when he has learned how to be and adult

It’s not going to get better.

Tips for dealing with it?
I'd tell him he either pulls his weight or he is out. He has eyes and a brain, he can figure out how not to urinate on a toilet seat or successfully clean and tidy a house. If he can't and needs help, he can either ask his actual parent or find a tutorial on YouTube.

Grown men who pretend to be unable to take care of themselves and their home frustrate me. Is it that their penis, audacity and sense of entitlement all act as a barrier to being a functioning adult?

Do not put effort into changing him. It will end up with you being changed into his mum.

The floor covering around your toilet will smell before long, the wee will creep into the crevices.

28!! Dear god, he's a fully adult man that's still "learning" to clean up after himself.
You can do better. Get rid of him. He clearly thinks it's beneath him to clean, he won't change.
And in the future, never live with a man who isn't already living independently.

I'm assuming that you've been together a while to now live together, did he not stay at yours regularly before moving in? Did he piss on the seat and leave it for you then?

It's a big no, bin him from me. I was briefly dating a guy whose floors looked liked they'd never been washed or even vacuumed properly, gave me the ick and I binned him early doors so I would never be in your situation!

Why do you want to have sex with someone who thinks so little of you they're happy to leave their piss on the toilet seat for you to either clean up if you see it, or sit in if you don't?

How on earth can you love someone who doesn't respect you enough to do such a basic thing as clean up after themselves when they've pissed on a toilet seat like a child?

I wish I could shake you - please don't give your life to this bloke, throw him back and raise your standards. You deserve so much more!

It's a short hop from this to 'bitty' , think on, OP.

I agree with the posters who have said you should throw this one back, @HanhanRuns. If he is this much of a lazy pig during the ‘honeymoon phase’ his behaviour is only going to get worse, not better, when he’s settled in.