Differences (rep Ireland) Irish V UK

How lovely of you to come on here and insult English people while insisting how friendly and kind the Irish are.

Everyone I know in England is perfectly laid back about money, thanks. Nobody I know has ever reported benefit fraud. Etc etc

I’m from Dublin and DH grew up in a very rural area and I sometimes feel like I’m in a different country when I visit his home town.
There are big differences between Dublin and rural Ireland. Love my inlaws, but MIL is a total Hyacinth Bucket and plenty of DH’s old pals would have snobby comments to make about Dubs.
Another difference between ROI and the UK is that you are not guaranteed a school place for your child, even if you live right next door to the school. My DS is in a private school because I couldn’t get a secondary school place for him in a school that was easy to get to on public transport.

Yes, it’s more accessible in Ireland though, because it’s a good deal cheaper. So it’s interesting that the figures are still about the same.

It’s about 6-7% in the UK, so very similar

I don't think the OP said it was a positive, only that it was low, compared to other countries.

I think it will rise over time as lingering Catholicism dies off generationally. Because if you're a devout Catholic of my parents' generation, you can't remarry in the Church once divorced, which removes part of the logic of divorcing rather than simply separating. And annulments are vanishingly difficult to get.

And of course Irish women can leave abusive husbands. If they don't, it will be for the same reason that women in the UK don't leave, if they don't leave, the reasons that come up all the time on Mn -- mostly economic vulnerability, and/fear of a man they don't trust having their children living with him 50% of the time. Not because they legally can't leave.

I think they might be looking at the EU average instead of the UK average. Your figures tally with the office of national statistics.

Also average marriage age is also incorrect. In ireland it’s 35.9 years for brides and 37.7 years for grooms; in the Uk it is 30 for brides and 32 for grooms.

Don’t know why you consider a low divorce rate positive. why women can’t leave abusive husband.

It was the Google AI overview from a search but clicking on the link it says 1.7 on Divorce.com for the UK then 1.9 in the Irish Times.

Yes! My first English funeral since I had my kid and I got loads of weird glances - I thought all her English cousins would be there and she could play with the other kids. I had to leave after 5 minutes as she was making a racket. She’s been to a few in Ireland with no issue.

I got told off by a priest at a baptism for taking her out of the church for climbing chairs, I was dragging her to the doors and he stopped the sermon to say that the church belongs to children too and they should be allowed to express themselves whatever way they see fit - really mortifying!

I've just had a look at some stats. 0.7 divorce per 1000 compared to 1.7 for the UK. Average age on marriage for women is 35 compared to 33 in UK

Seems pretty similar tbh. Perhaps its just your circle?

That’s lovely and so sorry to mention it. I just know someone who was raging that her friend had simply assumed that the toddler was invited to the wedding too 😅
Nothing was said and they’re still good friends but it caused the bride and groom stress at the time as they hadn’t invited some cousins’ young kids and were then worried they’d be miffed…

Loads of differences!

I agree with the money thing - we have completely different attitudes - you’d be mortified for being known as cheap in Ireland while in the UK most people just give what they want to give. When I first moved to the UK a colleague told me he loved the Irish that everywhere he went people bought him drinks - he didn’t buy anyone a drink back lol. A lot less people tip in the UK too - I find it’s about 50:50 among people I know but the majority of Irish people I know tip (though a few outliers). A relative who lives in Brussels was telling me about her large offices tradition of people from that country putting on a spread in the afternoon of their national days. Irish people loaded on the whiskey, Guinness, stew, sausages etc… the Spanish served Paela and Sangria, the french had wines, meats and cheeses and the English served tea and scones lol. Think the Dutch got similar slagging. I found gifting in workplaces similarly different - in Ireland usually people would throw in an agreed amount for a birthday of leaving due (always a minimum of a fiver) but in the UK I worked with people who would put in a quid or less.

The chats are completely different too - more similar in the North of England but in the South people sometimes look at you like you have ten heads when you strike up a conversation with a stranger. We also share a lot more about ourselves to people we just met.

Dropping into someone’s house. You don’t just knock on someone’s door cause you were in the neighbourhood in England - it must be prearranged, I find people only invite you over if you’ve known them years most meet ups are in pubs and cafes.

Funerals - I find the waiting for funerals in the UK hard, it is hard to have closure with such a long gap. I would prefer if Irish funerals had a tiny bit more of a gap (say 4/5 days) as it’s hard to get everything together in such a short time. I find the brevity of the service in the UK and the small numbers attending hard to get used to.

Time - we’re definitely a little more relaxed in Ireland, no one gets too upset is someone is 5minutes late. We also don’t tend to give end times for informal events as much. When I moved to the UK for Uni I went to a party that said it was on from 8pm until midnight - at 11.55pm I was asked if I had already booked my taxi or if I needed one booked for me - completely alien! I have learned that things actually end when they say they end. Also an event I attend regularly that is held in a local pub when it ends at 8pm everyone gets up and leaves no hanging on for another pint!

Politics - people don’t talk about politics as much in England! With some people they almost see it as rude. People protest but I know a handful of people who’ve been to a protest here but pretty much everyone back home has been to one or two.

Cursing! I was once telling a story on a bus in Oxford and said “f*cking” and loads of people turned round and glared at me. I had a colleague who had a very colourful youth with drugs and partying recount how she had to tell people off for cursing at a bus stop where kids could hear.

Education - a huge amount of people finish school at 16, it’s seen that you have completed your secondary schooling if you leave then. In Ireland 18 is seen as the end of school though the majority go on to third level in some form.

Divorce is common enough in Ireland though we’re probably a bit slower to remarry. My parents are legally separated almost 30 years.

Abortion happens in Ireland too, at a lower rate and it’s probably more taboo but I know a few people who have had them.

Toddler snacks - might be just the people I mixed with but in England at playdates at the playground people produced baby crisps, baby bars, chocolate buttons etc… in Ireland I found people had cream crackers with peanut butter and bananas in their lunch boxes. Pre bought baby snacks are pricier in Ireland!

Class - we do have a class system but it’s not in the same level as the English. As someone pointed out in Ireland we have people with notions. There are no lords or ladies or people with royal blood. Our millionaires usually have poor relatives (speaking as a poor relative of some wealthy folk). Our people with notions would be considered common as muck by the English people with notions! There is much less class mobility in England too - over half my friends in Uni in Ireland got grants because they were on a low wage, in England most people on my course were from middle class backgrounds.

Baby definitely invited! She had her daughter at around the same time and she’s messaged saying how cute it will be for them to meet each other at the wedding.

A significant cultural difference is the presence of babies and small children at funerals. I think only being on Mn made me aware of quite the extent to which it's not seen as entirely ordinary to take babies or children of any age to any part of a funeral, without thinking that you're scarring them for life by seeing a dead body or adults crying, that any wails or audible requests for a packet of crisps or the loo or whether Granny is going to get out of the coffin are going to wreck the solemnity of the occasion. I've given a eulogy with a cranky baby in my arms without anyone thinking it was in any way odd.

@Aethelredtheunsteady don't worry about it. They will be really pleased that you have made the effort to come to the wedding!

My family always have babies at weddings. Especially welcome if the parents are coming a long way or a baby is tiny. And sometimes parents have to vanish early or take it in turns to be around...that's family life!
A card and banknote would be easier than juggling a baby and a bottle of duty free champagne!

My mum was Irish (Sligo) but we grew up in the uk with an English father. Interestingly a lot of what you talk about has been tension between me and my English in laws as I was very much brought up in the way you describe (and thought it normal). Particularly the fighting to buy the drinks and gift giving and a general hatred of the establishment (despite being pretty well off and educated). My dad obvs bought into it too!! I loved going home (wasn’t my home but that was what it was called 🤪as I would come back to the uk with a wallet full of money. Every distant relative would be pressing 20’s into my hand (and that was a lot of money when you were 9 in the 80’s! )It’s a very different culture - despite similarity on the surface. I think English people tend to be more insular and less willing to debate.

Nobody will. Honestly I would never utter a word. How on earth would English people be expected to know this. I have lived in a few countries and work in a multicultural industry so I got all sorts for my wedding and I thought nothing of it. You can hardly be expected to know this intricate part of Irish culture just because you know an Irish person,

I do think thoughtful trumps cash when the cash is not standard, but that is my opinion .

I think people are mainly talking about their own relatives. The day after I got married I got a text from one of my relatives demanding to know what her sister had given us. She’s known to be very tight while being extremely wealthy. People like to police that type of behaviour here for some reason

I’m certain that your friend will be grateful that you are travelling with a baby for her celebration.

I really hate to say this…but are you certain baby is invited? It’s just that colleagues’ children usually aren’t, though it’s probably different as you have to travel of course.