Differences (rep Ireland) Irish V UK

Gosh, that’s fascinating! So your kids are at school together, you live locally to each other, you’ve chatted regularly at school pick-up…and you feel she’s somehow overstepping by suggesting a coffee?! What’s an acceptable way of making friends then? Or do you just not have a vacancy for friendship? Are you living in the UK?

"British" isn't a mono-culture. You only have to move to the next town here and things will change - food, accents, customs.

I am Scottish and found plenty of differences when I moved to London. I especially couldn't understand how people would offer you a cup of tea but no biscuits or cake.

I find though that there is an undercurrent of Irish exceptionalism to threads like this, like the rest of us aren't good enough, with our boring funerals and poor wedding gifts.

See that's not what others have said. That (your version) is pretty much like everywhere I have lived in the UK.

If they were leaving, then no. If it was just a round or two then no.

If someone drank all night then fecked off once it was their round then yes. Or if they were a serial offender.

and would they then get talked about if they couldn't stand their round?

I don't think that is an option in Ireland though. I wouldn't be able to let someone get their own drink if it was my round I'd just throw them in.

southerner here and yes rounds are well understood, also its ok to to decline and just get your own if broke or not stopping.

Interesting that a pp said that Irish people are more chatty and British people more friendly, I tend to chat to people if I am in a queue or whatever, when I was doing the school run there was a woman I would always chat with if I was near her, one day she asked if I would like to go for a coffee, I was astounded, wtf would I want to fo that, I dont know her! (I am irish)

I think he might have to be assertive. When the Irish relatives say no put your money away they mean yes please. Mrs Doyle is reality. You have to be more Mrs Doyle.

Agree - I’d be pretty baffled at a grown man in the UK (presuming he’s not teetotal/this is the first time in a pub) not knowing about rounds! That’s just standard pub etiquette surely? Unless it turns out this is regional after all (I’ve only ever lived in the north of England).

I’m English and live in the UK but everybody I know would buy a round back if someone else and bought a round.

I think my English nephews must think I'm the most generous auntie ever based on applying Irish wedding present rules!

English relations probably don't understand the rule about paying for their dinner at weddings because it isn't a thing here. It's one of those unwritten expectations in Ireland but often nobody remembers to inform non-Irish guests so they end up making a faux pas totally unintentionally.

I crying laughing at this! As it is so true!
I put the cash in my English husband’s wallet and warn him about the rounds, just so he is not talked about.

The thing is, that comparing the uk and Ireland is like comparing apples and porcupines… Ireland is a small country. The diaspora is huge, but the country itself has about 5m people. The UK has about 70m… so of course a small country with a fairly homogenous culture will be very different to a large country ( in terms of numbers) with a very diverse population.
I’m not sure “ British culture” is a thing in the same way. I have British friends with all kinds of backgrounds, religions, ways of doing things. My family is itself a mix, of rural English and South Eastern European. Many of my friends who are British have roots in South Asia or Africa or the Middle East. We bring many cultural perspectives.
It’s not really comparable.

Ireland is really, really white though- over 90% I think, and "living in sin" is not really frowned upon here (north or south) any more. It's just not a thing, and the phrase "out of wedlock" is a complete anachronism. Britain - well England anyway, is more multicultural with a larger proportion of Asian communities where I think you're more likely to be expected to get married before settling in and having children together so maybe that pulls the average age down.

The only thing that sounds different to me is abortion and the expensive wedding gifts (you only give loads to people youre closer to and i f you are middle class).

The other stuff seems similar to my circle in england.

Watching Traitors Ireland atm.
OMG. So different to UK Traitors! 😂

I'm from Northern Ireland and raised Catholic. There are differences between Catholic and Protestant attitudes growing up in NI. E.g I am one of 6 siblings, my husband who is from a protestant background is one of two. My family have wakes, drinks, huge funerals his family have much smaller funerals and no wake, alcohol. Obviously in the Catholic community things like divorce, abortion, unmarried pregnancy was a big scandal 30 odd years ago. Luckily things are much more progressive now and we are probably more aline with the UK in that regard. People aren't feeling the pressure to stay in unhappy and abusive marriages. Women have more rights and independence. That said I do think people are becoming a lot more selfish and entitled. So many people aren't 'kind' anymore or willing to communicate and forgive. I hate this block and move on culture (unless it's abusive) or not replying to people's messages for days. That wouldn't be the norm in my family or social group.

@ACatNamedRobin
@Suednymph
https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth-family-relationships/cohabiting-couples/legal-differences-between-cohabitation-and-marriage/

Making wills and getting married for financial reasons are things I bang on about to my kids.
I think it is widely acknowledged that the English relations don't understand the rules about paying for their dinner at a wedding...my kids are aware of the cost of travel, hotels, car hire etc. My neigwas correct when he said he preferred his January gas and electricity bills to a wedding invite. Although he said esb as we are in Cork.

Mainly if your living together and your partner dies you, and not his family, have the right to the house (you still have to pay inheritance tax though, which is obviously far more than if you were married).

It’s not automatic though - you have to register as a cohabiting couple when you buy the property.

(am not a legal expert though - just going on a conversation I had with a barrister friend once. So if anyone else has more knowledge on the matter please comment and if I’m wrong am happy to be corrected)

I have never come across anywhere near the amount of moaning about being invited that I see regularly on Mn (though I don’t imagine Mn is representative of the British public on weddings any more than it is on regarding an unexpected ring at the door as an act of war).

It’s euros, not pounds, so not quite as bad 😅

£100 per person! Jesus. People on tight budgets must dread being invited to weddings.