Differences (rep Ireland) Irish V UK

I was at a wedding in Ireland in a castle two weeks ago and there was a selection of nibbles and drinks (beer, prosecco, squash) all freely available with tea/coffee/biccies while the B&G got pics taken. Then a 4 course meal followed by speeches and a DJ, no band in sight, no sweet cart, no photo booths, later on there was more nibbles put on the tables with wedding favours and all wine and beer etc was free and handed out all evening. Well worth the 300euro cash we put in the card but we were in bed by 11 as it was a very long but enjoyable day.

There's loads of different ways of doing Father Christmas. I don't think there's any unified UK way of doing it.

We do stockings only from FC and it's just little bits. Everything else is from whoever it is from and goes under the tree as soon as it's wrapped. Some do everything from FC. Some do only stockings from FC but he still delivers everything so it's hidden away till Xmas Eve.

On another thread, and I don't know is this a UK/Ireland difference or a different house differences. But in our house we write a letter to Santa asking for 3 things, and come down in the morning and he's left presents and a few extra bits- maybe in a stocking or a sack. But the stocking bit isn't seperate as such.

This is where the Castle wedding was held. Gorgeous place, but must have cost an arm and a leg - well the guests' arms and legs (the wedding card money) lol 😊

www.kilkeacastle.ie/weddings/

Last English wedding i went to had photo booth and sweet stand too. Not in a castle though.

Last wedding (Ireland in a castle no less), had a photo booth, a sweet stand, and just as the band was finishing before the DJ took over, there were mini fish and chips, happily devoured by all. Probably many other distractions aswell that I missed. Long day like I said.

Oh and many Irish weddings are now Three Day Events. Wedding, BBQ next day (and do it all over again), and hungover breakfast gathering on day 3. You'd be feckin wrecked!

I think payment in advance would be helpful for the happy couple to budget on the big day. There was a wedding social content creator on the radio this morning who wanders through the guests taking photos for your insta. Another expense!

I did mention that the band are cash merchants! Withdrawals can be made from a Revolut account at ATM - as you know. Many of my older relatives don't have Revolut or any of that mullarkey of internet banking on the phone, so yes they may give cash in a wedding card. I'm older too for the record late 60s, before I'm accused of age bias or something.

I don't drink alcohol so FWIW weddings in general (especially the Irish ones!) are very long days hanging around, starving, waiting for the dinner bell whilst getting pissed (not me obv, I'm saintly Aunt Joan), on prosecco and finger treats. Ah look it - an Irish wedding is something to behold, but I've been to so many now that I roll my eyes if an invite arrives these days. I more often than not decline, but send the moolah anyway. Immediate family are the exception of course, I never decline those.

UK weddings end early enough, I thank them for that.

The band and dj like cash though. So a wad is used.
I have a revolut account and whatsapp. I'm not sure that I'm tech savvy.

Surely guests will Revolut their Irish wedding gifts to the B+G or either of them these days. Come on, ROI is very tech savvy didn't you know lol. 😊

Then the B+G can take out cash or use their own Revolut account (fully loaded after all the money given) to settle bills at the hotel, pay for the honeymoon, and withdraw cash for the cute hoors (under the radar tax wise) wedding band.

I'd say everyone in ROI has a Revolut card/account now. And if they don't they musn't have Whatsapp either - the dinosaurs.

Oh and another thing, Irish weddings always (IME) have a live band, then a DJ after, then a sing song in the residents bar until all hours. None of this disco and home by 11pm like the English weddings I've been at. Last one in England was 7 or so years ago, so things might have changed. I gave 100 quid. I hope they were shocked!

Honestly, I think that was in large part situational.

Forcing pregnant women to access termination in another state, however they feel about their decision, cannot but add difficulty, expense and other complexities that may have nothing at all to do with the fact of terminating a pregnancy.

There's an enormous difference between seeing your own GP for medication that will end your pregnancy, and to be able to end it in the comfort of your own home, and the way things were in the eighties especially, when even accessing abortion information was illegal, and you were often going on the ferry because flights were so expensive, sometimes alone, to have an invasive surgical procedure in a strange country and stay overnight in a B and B if you were lucky, otherwise you were bleeding into a pad on a boat. It's not surprising it felt to some women like a kind of international walk of shame.

All women’s experiences vary but my point I don’t think there is that big a difference culturally.

Glad you’ve found happiness now xx

I'm Irish and I would consider that disgraceful.

For what it's worth, DH and I got married a few years ago mainly to square away legalities after a couple of decades together. We didn't care who gave what, just that people came to share our day. Maybe it's us being a bit older than the Irish average but at our ages, I couldn't feel right expecting a cash amount from people. People were very generous and I think no differently of those who bought me a bed set to those who were incredibly generous in a card.

I think you quoted the wrong person?

I’m Irish and you’re right, that was really bad.

Well, that’s not a cultural difference, it’s one family. I’m trying to think what country it was where you handed your envelope of cash straight to a relative who wrote down the name and amount. I didn’t think that was crass, just how other people did it.

Agree about the wedding gift amount thing. It still seems a gigantic amount of money to me but I understand it is a cultural expectation.

I don't get what you're saying about buying drinks though. As so many have said that's no different from any expectation in any pub in England. Same with paying dinner bills. It's the same general expectation that if one person pays then the other will next time.

The money was being used for the honeymoon, but that's not really the point! To me, making a list of who paid what was very crass, and commenting on the amount people gave even worse. I understand it might have been done between the close family, but to do it publicly in front of me, who isn't even family was really bad!

I think dj and any musicians get paid in cash. And random people like a musician. I was at a Christmas wedding once where Santa arrived. Hotels get staged payment?
Hotel charge stupid amounts plus vat.

Well, maybe they were planning to pay the hotel in cash and so needed to figure out how much they had before settling up? Someone up the thread said someone had done this, though I would have said no business would want a giant bag of thousands and thousands of euro in cash that they'd have to count, keep in a safe and then take to a bank...? (I'd have done it discreetly in private, either way!)

Totally give them a LIVE LOVE LAUGH sign next time. Everyone should have one...

But I've certainly been at weddings in other cultures where you handed over your envelope to a designated relative of the couple at a table at the reception, and they opened it then and there and wrote down the amount on a list. Very businesslike. The only wedding involving a Greek bride I've been at did not feature something that I gather was, at one point, traditional, where guests pinned paper money on her dress during a dance (but this may be long outdated.)