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Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 12/09/2025 15:41

It's good manners for all of us to help our fellow humans where we can.

Small humans, aged 3, can generally sit on a parent's lap with comparative ease.

The seats around a train table for four could therefore be maximised to seat five or six people in moderate comfort (squashed in a bit, yes), rather than four seated comfortably and two forced to stand.

It's not a case of being entitled. It's a case of trying to be nice to strangers and encouraging your children to do the same.

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 15:33

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 15:28

Which is against the railway conditions or carriage if they haven't paid

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So it’s purely about payment that’s it? If there is any payment, even 10p towards the ticket then there is no issue? It’s nothing to do with space and freeing up a seat for someone else and nothing to do with ‘respect’ for adults?

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 15:33

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 15:32

Still in force then

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No, it isn't. 🤣

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 15:32

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 15:30

Very old advice, which has just never been updated.

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Still in force then

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 15:30

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 15:28

Which is against the railway conditions or carriage if they haven't paid

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Very old advice, which has just never been updated.

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 15:28

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 13:42

The toddler isn't 'taking up' a seat, they're sitting in it as anyone else would.

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Which is against the railway conditions or carriage if they haven't paid

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 15:21

Maray1967 · 12/09/2025 14:57

Yes, as have mine. If I’m lucky enough to have DGC I will sit them on my lap so that an adult can sit.

I call that manners and common sense.

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I still am struggling why it is good manners for a toddler to sit on a lap rather than have their own seat. Why are they not entitled to have a seat of their own?

yes they are small and can sit on a lap but I still don’t understand what that has to do with anything. I can sit on my husband’s lap to free up a space if it was at a premium but no one would expect me to do that.

would you make your 12 year old grandchild get up for an able bodied adult just because they are a child.

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 15:04

Maray1967 · 12/09/2025 14:57

Yes, as have mine. If I’m lucky enough to have DGC I will sit them on my lap so that an adult can sit.

I call that manners and common sense.

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Will you ask the child if they're comfortable?
Will you ask the parents if they'd prefer the child to be more or less confortable or even safe?

Maray1967 · 12/09/2025 14:57

bruffin · 12/09/2025 08:31

Its sad that it is seen as outdated to teach your child simple manners. I feel sorry for children when they grow up and realise that the world does not revolve around them. My kids sat on laps, never did them any harm, grown up to be kind and considerate and also very successful adults

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Yes, as have mine. If I’m lucky enough to have DGC I will sit them on my lap so that an adult can sit.

I call that manners and common sense.

Holiday24 · 12/09/2025 14:19

I wouldn't expect a child to move for me.

Travelling with a small child is stressful enough, without having them wriggling on your lap with someone else squeezed into the seat next to you!

LizzieW1969 · 12/09/2025 14:08

Kirbert2 · 12/09/2025 12:25

I'm sorry to hear about your daughters tonic clonic seizures too, I can't imagine how terrifying that must be. I hope that medication can keep them stable but I know that unfortunately isn't always the case.

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Thank you so much. Yes, she’s been on medication since June and I haven’t witnessed any seizures since then.

Breadandsticks · 12/09/2025 13:54

Another reason why the uk has lost its family culture.

Children are humans. Vulnerable ones, to add.

Whilst I would get up for a child unless they were really small and I could see them and/or parents were struggling. I wouldn’t expect a child that is sitting to give up their seat for me as an able bodied person - unless, like most have said, I have those seats reserved.

Kirbert2 · 12/09/2025 13:51

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:29

. Because the toddler can sit on a parents lap .

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How do you know that?

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 13:44

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:29

. Because the toddler can sit on a parents lap .

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And the circle continues.....read the existing replies before blanket stating this!

GleisZwei · 12/09/2025 13:42

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:26

But according to many people I shouldn't as you can't possibly tell by looking at me. So it's the same for many other adults who are left standing while a toddler takes up a seat

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The toddler isn't 'taking up' a seat, they're sitting in it as anyone else would.

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:40

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:37

rheu have - they have said it’s about respect. Children should give seats up because children should defer to adults.

the elderly also get free travel on the tube - should they have to give up their seats for people who have paid for travel. I think you get freedom passes when you are 60 these days and many 60 year olds don’t have any health or mobility issues. Why should they get a free seat and not be made to give it up?

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The elderly have paid for travel on buses. Not on trains The local council pays the bus company for their trips

Freedom passes i think are only in London

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:37

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:34

No one said that a PAID FOR seat has to be given up. The majority of toddlers aren't paid for though

Perhaps everyone on the train should be charged from a year old then that fact they travel free won't be an issue

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rheu have - they have said it’s about respect. Children should give seats up because children should defer to adults.

the elderly also get free travel on the tube - should they have to give up their seats for people who have paid for travel. I think you get freedom passes when you are 60 these days and many 60 year olds don’t have any health or mobility issues. Why should they get a free seat and not be made to give it up?

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:34

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:32

We are going running circles- how do you know this? How do you know there isn’t a reason why the toddler needs a seat to themselves? How do you know that the parent might have a condition that means they can’t have the toddler on their lap. If that parent has deliberately booked and paid for a seat because they know their toddler is super wriggly and might have a tantrum, why do they have to give it up rather than an able bodied adult who can happily stand?

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No one said that a PAID FOR seat has to be given up. The majority of toddlers aren't paid for though

Perhaps everyone on the train should be charged from a year old then that fact they travel free won't be an issue

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:33

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:28

If you have paid for it then fine.

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Lots of people on here seem to think that it’s a respect thing so a child should automatically give the seat up to an adult that needs it regardless of the seat having been paid for.

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:32

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:29

. Because the toddler can sit on a parents lap .

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We are going running circles- how do you know this? How do you know there isn’t a reason why the toddler needs a seat to themselves? How do you know that the parent might have a condition that means they can’t have the toddler on their lap. If that parent has deliberately booked and paid for a seat because they know their toddler is super wriggly and might have a tantrum, why do they have to give it up rather than an able bodied adult who can happily stand?

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:29

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:28

if you need a seat, you can ask another adult if they could give it up as you need to sit down though. Why would the toddler need to give up their seat?

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. Because the toddler can sit on a parents lap .

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:28

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 11:54

The claims were made when someone says that a parent’s needs to inconvenience themselves by putting their child on their lap when the child should be able to have a seat of their own. If I’ve paid for a seat for my child to sit, I don’t see why I should have to give that seat up for an able bodied adult to have it.m on grounds of respect for adults or such like.

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If you have paid for it then fine.

BananaPeels · 12/09/2025 13:28

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:26

But according to many people I shouldn't as you can't possibly tell by looking at me. So it's the same for many other adults who are left standing while a toddler takes up a seat

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if you need a seat, you can ask another adult if they could give it up as you need to sit down though. Why would the toddler need to give up their seat?

Thechaseison71 · 12/09/2025 13:26

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 17:42

If you have issues with sense of balance then yes, you should sit down if you can.

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But according to many people I shouldn't as you can't possibly tell by looking at me. So it's the same for many other adults who are left standing while a toddler takes up a seat

WalkDontWalk · 12/09/2025 12:50

LadyWiddiothethird · 11/09/2025 22:24

How ridiculous that a 3 year old gets their own seat,whilst adults stand! Children now are brought up to be rude and entitled,not taught any manners.I would have told the adult to move the child,no pandering from me.

It may come as a shock, but my kid is more important to me than you are.

I’d’ve told you to drop dead. No pandering from me.