Children having their own seat on a packed train.

Yeah. I would politely, privately, and without the expectation of any particular answer. I would ask. If it couldn't be polite or private, I wouldn't ask; I hate to draw attention to myself. If they said no, I would accept that, and I wouldn't ask why.

This pisses me off too.

My teen dd has a medical condition, for a very long time she could barely walk or do basic things like sit at a table without an episode. Looking at her now you would not know, but we know that when she’s tired, run down, stressed she’s triggered and anything can happen. Her school is a very proud strict school that expects all pupils to be polite show manners in public including helping people on public transport and give up seats. We teach our children manners too but I have drilled it into her to put her own safety first, especially when she’s travelling on public transport alone, her school have backed me in this with her and told her she shouldn’t be giving up seats if she feels like she’s struggling. It took her a long time to feel confident to travel alone. To any onlooker she’s a fit healthy teenager not giving up her seat, to us she’s a sick child that we have spent 2 years making sure she’s fit and well to be able to live a normal life.

Just today we got a call from her, she’d made it half way to the train station after school when she felt like she was going to have an episode, she actually sat outside a shop and called us, my DH was there in 15 mins and had to help her to the car. That’s the first time in months and it could be months before it happens again or it could be tomorrow, we don’t know, so if people think she’s a selfish entitled teen that’s their ignorant problem.

If it was me and I was feeling frustrated by the lack of seating and saw the child, I might think what you’re thinking of a few seconds. I’d give my head a wobble and appreciate the little toddler is more than entitled to sit down, more so than me. The elderly, infirm and little ones should take priority over me who is able to stand and balance.

Yes.

Of course they are able to stand.

But that's not really the point.

I don't know if you've noticed, but it's generally preferable to sit on a moving train, partly because it is more comfortable, especially over long distances, and partly because the movement of the train can make it more awkward to stand than it would be on solid ground.

(I believe the train companies are aware of this and that's why they have, for quite a long time now, put seats on trains.)

As a result, seats on trains can be quite a desired commodity. Even though, as you quite correctly have observed, grown humans are perfectly able to stand (unless they have a disability), most grown adults choose to sit down on the train when they can.

In those circumstances, and call me a snowflake if you like, I will try and do my best to make the journey more comfortable for my fellow grown humans. I will, for example, move my bag or coat off a seat so they can sit (even though they are, actually, perfectly able to stand).

And I will, if I have a 3 year old child with me, get them to sit on my lap. Even, yes, if they have paid for a ticket. Even though they are entitled to have a seat of their own. Yes, I will go out of my way to make someone else's day a little bit more comfortable even if it might make my own day a little bit less comfortable because that seems to me to be the sort of little act of kindness that makes the world a happier place.

But you do you.

I actually do tend to pay for a seat and reserve it for my under 5s as is not much more when booking with a family railcard, particularly if it means we have a 4 seater table seat for just our family. So it’s not always the case parents haven’t paid for their child’s seat, even if they don’t have to

A family and friends railcard gives a third off the adult ticket and 60% of the child’s ticket meaning for an adult travelling with a single child under five it is nearly always cheaper to buy the child a ticket than not

As would I as I would want the guarantee of a seat on a long journey. But that is irrelevant to the fact that there are no terms requiring you to give up a child’s seat if the seat were free when they got on (and not reserved at a later point in the journey).

I also just checked for that journey - it would be cheaper to buy the child a ticket with a family and friends railcard than to just buy an adult ticket. So even more reason to do so.

I am 63 and get offered a seat a lot on my commute.

Well except the fact that multiple people on this thread have said they buy tickets for their under 5s.

Just tried booking with LNER. The only restrictions I have come across is it says under fives are free but are not guaranteed a seat. In other words, if a seat is free they may use it. Those are the terms. Anything written elsewhere is irrelevant as you cannot add terms after the conclusion of the contract.

That’s honestly very lovely of your son but honestly I can’t imagine anyone, after working a 8-10 hour day and is shattered and hungry and desperate to go home but has an hour long tube commute head of them, going I will stand the whole way back so a random stranger can have my seat as they might have an unseen health condition. I am very able bodied and would give my seat up to someone who needs it (including a small child if necessary) but if no one seems to need it more than me I’m taking it and not giving it up!

Thankfully we don't all have to follow your rules.

A 3 year is comfortable enough in my lap.

A seat should not be occupied by a small child when an adult needs one.

Nobody has to do anything, but generally we like to work on the principle of making everyone's life easier if we can. My 24yo, healthy, strong, has no problems standing. So if there aren't enough seats to go round, he does. My daughter is diabetic, and when her blood sugar is behaving badly, she'd rather sit. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her. So my son standing because he can, means that there's more likely to be a seat for someone like his sister, when she can't.

Why? I'm a well and healthy adult...I don't think I deserve a seat any more than a 12 year old does. Why would I?

A 3 year old is also entitled to travel comfortably and safely, as is their parent. Surely that's not hard to understand.

No adult who is well and healthy should feel they're somehow owed the 12 year old's seat.

Grown humans are perfectly able to stand, unless they have a disability.

So a 12 year old who has just played 3 hours of sport and is shattered and exhausted and has just sat down is expected to get up for a 20 year old man who is off out for night out?

So adults all have to stand for someone older than them?

I would have expected my 12yo to stand for an adult. My DC are young adults now and would stand for older adults.

A 3 year old sitting on my lap frees up a seat for someone else!!! That is surely not hard to understand.

Yes, just as I was expected to. No 12 year old who is well and healthy should be sitting while adults stand.

Depends if booking seats is available. If I reserve a seat and someone tried saying but I was here first, they’d still be moving! If no reservations and the child is there first I’d not expect them to be moved. I’d also jump to offer my seat to someone if they were elderly, pregnant, with kids etc travelling with children is difficult enough as it is

Is it? I've never seen anyone enforce it.