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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:11

MumOfTheMoos · 11/09/2025 10:09

I would not ask, no, because I have found that asking parents to show respect and thoughtfulness to their fellow passengers is not the done thing.

i would sit my 3 year old on my lap. If you are in the UK the 3 year old would not have had to pay for a ticket and, just like when they don’t on planes (up to 2 years iirc) they sit on their parents lap unless space is plentiful.

i would quietly seethe.

Why would you seethe? For the umpteenth time, when our children were 3, we travelled to relatives across the UK regularly and always booked and paid for a seat for them. How would you know the person you were “seething” about hadn’t done the same?

ResusciAnnie · 11/09/2025 10:11

BeltaLodaLife · 11/09/2025 10:06

Your ticket doesn’t entitle you to a seat.

Show quote history

Very good point -a lot of the time commuters pay thousands to get on the train and have to stand. So the commuter paying thing is a bit of a moot point.

TigerRag · 11/09/2025 10:11

I had a parent get arsey at me over this. They had their toddler in my seat which they claimed was free. Except above the seat it said it was booked

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 11/09/2025 10:10

I would fully expect this but would not ask for it. I would just death stare haha

Coldnightsapproachingwhereismyduvet · 11/09/2025 10:10

In most ways my dm was crap. However she would have made me sit on her knee to allow an adult to have a seat...
Recently in Edinburgh I made ds 10 perch on my knee to give a man a seat.

BeltaLodaLife · 11/09/2025 10:09

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:07

It does if you’ve booked the seat.

Show quote history

You think the OP booked a seat on a commuter train?

MumOfTheMoos · 11/09/2025 10:09

I would not ask, no, because I have found that asking parents to show respect and thoughtfulness to their fellow passengers is not the done thing.

i would sit my 3 year old on my lap. If you are in the UK the 3 year old would not have had to pay for a ticket and, just like when they don’t on planes (up to 2 years iirc) they sit on their parents lap unless space is plentiful.

i would quietly seethe.

Summeriscumin · 11/09/2025 10:09

It depends on good manners. Some entitled parents have none. A child travelling free should be on the lap of the parent.

awardgoesto · 11/09/2025 10:08

I’d probably put my child on my lap and offer the seat to a standing passenger out of kindness but if they asked me to and expected then I’d say no.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:07

BeltaLodaLife · 11/09/2025 10:06

Your ticket doesn’t entitle you to a seat.

Show quote history

It does if you’ve booked the seat.

BeltaLodaLife · 11/09/2025 10:06

NuovaPilbeam · 11/09/2025 10:05

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

Because you don't pay for a ticket for an under 5, because its expected they can sit on a parents lap.

Your ticket doesn’t entitle you to a seat.

BeltaLodaLife · 11/09/2025 10:06

Worralorra · 11/09/2025 10:01

It depends - if the child has had to have a ticket purchased for them to travel, YABU.
If their travel is free because of their age, then they are expected to sit on a parents lap…

No, they aren’t. And when you buy a ticket, you aren’t buying a seat. Your ticket just lets you get on the train. You aren’t entitled to a seat at all. You’re allowed to travel on the train, just like the kid. Seats are first come first served.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:06

NuovaPilbeam · 11/09/2025 10:05

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

Because you don't pay for a ticket for an under 5, because its expected they can sit on a parents lap.

I always bought a seat.

Icanttakethisanymore · 11/09/2025 10:06

I wouldn't ask but if I was the parent I'd put them on my lap unless I thought doing so was going to create a fuss that would be even more inconvenient to my fellow travellers.

mindutopia · 11/09/2025 10:05

If I was able bodied, I wouldn’t expect anyone to give up their seat to me if they were there first.

You also don’t know the reason why the child is not already sitting on the adult’s lap. Maybe the child has some sensory needs that makes that difficult. Maybe the adult has chronic pain issues that mean it’s very painful for them. I look perfectly youthful and well, but my cancer treatment means my joints are painful and swollen and having a child on my lap would be quite difficult.

I wouldn’t want to assume I needed the seat more than them. But of course, it would be nice if they offered.

NuovaPilbeam · 11/09/2025 10:05

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

Because you don't pay for a ticket for an under 5, because its expected they can sit on a parents lap.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:05

MellowPinkDeer · 11/09/2025 10:02

In commuter time I’d be asking them to sit on a lap. They are riding for free and others pay thousands a year, it’s really inconsiderate I think.

edited to add I think the parent is very inconsiderate- not the small child!

Edited

I travelled regularly across the UK with our 3 year olds. I always bought a seat for them.

Letstheriveranswer · 11/09/2025 10:05

It probably depends whether the parent has had to buy a child of that age a full price train ticket.

When I was growing up yes, a small child would go on an adults lap if there was a shortage of seats and that was what was normal, polite and proper.

Just like adults went in the front of the car and children in the back.

But these days people would probably even expect their dog to have it's own seat because 'it's a family member too'

NotABiscuitInSight · 11/09/2025 10:05

No. Also, I'd rather stand alone than sit next to someone else's child, even on the lap. Its not going to be nicer.

NuovaPilbeam · 11/09/2025 10:04

I wouldn't ask, but then I'd have put the child on my lap without being asked. If you are in the uk, under 5s haven't paid for travel so no I do not think they are entitled to a seat that a paying customer could sit in.

Buddingbudde · 11/09/2025 10:04

This reply has been deleted

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MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:03

Bananarama2000 · 11/09/2025 10:01

No I probably wouldn’t. There could be all sorts of unknown reasons as to why they couldn’t, or they could just have a sense of entitlement, but it’s not really my business which.

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

Denim4ever · 11/09/2025 10:03

Probably not, there's often barely room for a child to lap sit. Also, they might have booked the seats.

IfyouStealMySunshine · 11/09/2025 10:03

I’d not ask but if it were me I’d put my child on my lap unless it was a train where I’d booked an actual numbered seat then I wouldn’t.

MellowPinkDeer · 11/09/2025 10:02

In commuter time I’d be asking them to sit on a lap. They are riding for free and others pay thousands a year, it’s really inconsiderate I think.

edited to add I think the parent is very inconsiderate- not the small child!