Children having their own seat on a packed train.

I would put my DC on my lap at that age if a vulnerable person was standing.. ie pregnant, disabled, elderly.

I normally get up and offer my chair if I see small kids without a seat. But then I don't mind standing

While I get what you’re saying, this argument doesn’t really stick because so many people still have to stand, regardless of toddlers that may be on laps. They also pay thousands for the privilege.

I would always take my small child onto my lap and offer the seat to an adult. But that was the norm when my children were growing up. When they were old enough (from about six) they would volunteer their seats themselves, though often the adult would smilingly decline.
It’s unwise to say the past was always better, but in some things, such as showing consideration and good manners, it often was.

As a parent I would have put the child on my lap, I don’t know where this idea has come from that children are feeble delicate creatures who are always less able to stand than adults.
A few months ago I was standing on a packed train and there was a family of parents and son aged about 11 also standing. Through most of the half hour journey they talked about the fact he had never stood on a train before; he seemed to regard it as a little bit scary and quite an adventure (in a positive way, they were a nice jolly family).
I remember aged a bit younger than him having a discussion with my brother about how we preferred standing because it was more fun.
In op’s position I wouldn’t have asked though, I don’t think it would have had a positive response and the parent might have had a good reason.

in situations like that, I would always take the DC on my lap. I wouldn't ask other people though to do it.

Ha Ha !

"Hey excuuuuse meee! Can you just move that please"

Good one

If you want a seat then book it.

If you can't then it's first come, first served.

I wouldn't expect anyone, old or young or anything in between to give up a seat, and I certainly wouldn't be putting my child on my lap, that would have been physically impossible for me anyway.

You always run the risk of having to stand on the train if you haven't booked.

Unless it's a booked seat, no, I wouldn't expect a toddler to be moved onto a parent's lap to free up a seat.

No, I wouldn’t.

What’s your reasoning for thinking you are more deserving of the seat?

This. When mine were that age, I'd have told them to sit on my lap as soon as people began having to stand. And lots of people are less able to stand but don't want to make a fuss/ be seen to be that person so continue to stand in discomfort. So I'd willingly move my child onto my lap, but if someone hadn't then I'd be extremely reluctant to ask unless I was clearly very old, using a walking aid of some kind or pregnant.

I wouldn’t ask but when I was little my parents would pop me and my brother on their laps on a busy train, they is no way they’d have us take up a seat if adults were standing. Mind you, this was the 70s so we were just grateful to get a break from going up chimneys, sleeping in coal sacks etc 😂

I wouldn't have a toddler stand, but I would give up my own seat and stand next to my child in the aisle (so child sitting in aisle seat) if it was busy and someone elderly or unstable looked like they needed a seat.

Some 3 year old children can be too heavy to have on your lap for a long time. Young children should not stand as they can get thrown around the train and I notice on the tube that people usually stand for children. If you have trouble standing because of age or disability you can apply for a badge and can make people in certain seats stand up.

A child under 5 in England travels for free. So should be on parents knee. If parents have bought a ticket then no.

Have I missed op saying it’s a commuter train? I just read “packed”. We used to travel from East Anglia to Somerset or Cornwall and the rains were always packed, whatever time of day, usually with people sitting on their cases between carriages. Would have been mad to travel with kiddies without booking seats for everyone. I certainly wouldn’t have given their seats up for adults who had failed to think ahead, too.

I don’t think small children should give up seats for able bodied adults. In fact I would expect my teenagers to give up their seat for a small child on the tube, etc - obviously I would too.

Agree with this.

Also as another poster said, you’re not guaranteed a seat unless you have booked them with a train car letter, and a seat number, otherwise it is first come, first serve.

This.

I wouldn't ask, but I would consider the parent very rude for not doing it.

In the past, I've sat both my kids on one seat and stood over them, because that was a better compromise than me with a toddler on my lap, and the eldest trying not to fall over.

Same, I would’ve automatically put child on my lap and released the seat.

If I were standing myself though, I wouldn’t have asked

I'm torn on this.

My child was extremely heavy at three and I was recovering from cancer so no I wouldn't. I suspect her dad would have put her on his lap however to make room.

I think on many commuter trains booking a seat isn’t an option. So in the case of the OP this point matters. I don’t expect anyone ( adult or child) to give up a pre booked train. But all our trains into London don’t have bookable seats so this would never be the case.

Where does it say it’s a commuter train? Aren’t most commuters in work by nearly 10?

I wouldn't ask them to move. The child isn't less entitled to a seat just because they are a child and a ticket doesn't entitle you to a seat.