Children having their own seat on a packed train.

I honestly think this thread just highlights the change of culture in the U.K. when I was younger people had more respect for each other, there was less sense of entitlement but we were all taught to respect adults and we’d always move / sit on a lap ( even when older than 3) for other adults.

society has changed, not always in a good way in my opinion. But I doubt you’d have had a 3 year old sitting on a seat alone whilst adults stood in the late 80/90s!

If I was standing I wouldn't ask for a seat but I would put a young child on my lap.

I admitted that freely on the first page, but I still think the child deserves their own seat if they were there first.

I don’t see why that’s unlikely, my work system always automatically books me a seat on the train, and it’s not uncommon for lots of other seats to be marked as reserved.

But I’m assuming OP didn’t because then her issue wouldn’t be “should a three year old sit on their parent’s lap” but “someone is sitting in my reserved seat”

We had people get upset when we chose to let the kids have the seats and us adults stand - us as parents and even DGP - we don't drive do long public transport journey's - somestime when the kids were young they'd have walked a couple of miles and had more to do when we got off. It was easier for us for them to seat and rest - why any one flet need to comment in beyond me.

A PP says if it next stop on lap at 3 fine - but if it's multiple hours and we've bought and reseves a seat - why should we.

That is true.
And having used trains in some European countries recently, if there are no seats left you cannot even buy a ticket, which would mean not travelling at all.

What is wrong with people who want to take a childs seat. Children, disabled, pregnant ladies and elderly people get the seats first. Then everyone else can find a seat or stand. That is the way of a decent polite society.

I’ll bet there are plenty of seats beside people who currently think that their bag needs its own seat too.

Complain to the train company and not the parents!

We are all paying expensive train fares and trains do not have enough carriages.

Not the parents to blame here!

Doubt it.

Not unless it's your booked seat.

Also, being practical, it's quite conceivable a 3 year old on a packed train who hasn't already been moved is going to be unhappy about it. I would probably not enjoy the consequences of their unhappiness. I'd rather stand than potentially add a whining toddler to the experience.

There might be a reason the parent can't have the child on their lap such as an injury or illness.

When I was a child and even when my dcs were little it was expected for children to stand or move for adults, but I'm glad that is changing now.

Children are humans as well.

No, I wouldn't sit with my child on my lap for an able-bodied adult unless I was only travelling a short distance. It's very uncomfortable and painful when they move about, and the longer my journey the less I would be able to tolerate it. I would do it for someone elderly or disabled though.
On the contrary, when my child was small adults in seats would often offer my child their seat, but on many occasions we would just end up sitting on the floor somewhere.

Sometimes you still buy a ticket especially if you need to reseve a seat - if you do it on friends and family card buying child ticket can make it cheaper travel as adult get discount - you do have to check the rules - but we have found this.

One journey we had reseved seats for 4 of us and fifth was supposed to stand or go on lap depending on how it worked out 2 adults 3 kids one under 5 - we could only get 2 of our seats crowded train and a very frail couple who also reseved couldn't get to their seats so took ours. So we put younger two on reseves seat - we got pushed futher and further away as train filled up - kid to us in tears as middle age couple and told them off for sitting in our resevered seats and made them move. We were near end of journey so not worth pushing down and having it out - but our kids weren't in the wrong - they were our reserves seats to use.

It was also normal to smoke indoors or while pregnant, or to travel in cars without child car seats......

I'd not ask but if I was the parent I'd absolutely move the child to my lap.

What is do with 3yo would depend entirely on the length of the journey. When we do Edinburgh to Birmingham we buy the 3yo a seat and I wouldn't have him say on my lap for that whole journey.

If it's a short local journey and I haven't paid for a ticket for him then I'd put him on my knee. Or put him on my seat and stand myself.

I lot of people are missing the point - we're not asking a 3 year old to stand up and hold onto the pole, we're saying that it would be normal when I was growing up, for that child to go onto the parent's lap.

In the mid-range years then yes, I put my child on the seat, and I stand over them, until they're old enough to be excited at the idea of standing themselves.

If she did, who then gets the seat? You because you're the closest, or the lady who is older, or the man who has been standing 2 hours linger than you?

No your train ticket is for the journey not the seat. I ask people to move their bags off seats if I need to sit down, but not their children that is going too far! Going by the tuts, sighs and often pretending they didn't hear me I get when asking them to move their bags I wouldn't expect a reasonable response if I asked to move their kid. I just sit on the bags if they don't move them, amazingly they have always whisked them away before my bottom hits the seat. You can't do that with kids though, it's frowned upon.

Incidentally I always bought a ticket for my kids from babies because you can use the family railcard for a discount if you're traveling with a child of any age, including under 5's, so you can't assume they haven't paid, but paying doesn't guarantee anyone a seat, just as letting babies and under 5's travel free doesn't mean they are 3rd class and should be in the luggage rack if madame needs a seat.

Are you sure the parent had a seat? If there is a free seat, I’d sit my small child on it for safety and stand next to him. I’d much rather stand than try to sit with my heavy wriggly three year old on me!

Ok not sure what you want me to say to that but thanks for calling me a liar when you don’t know me

Did you give your seat up first?

Because you’re not actually entitled to a seat? It isn’t yours, any more than any other passenger’s. That child has every right to be on the train, they are a passenger and were there first. If the train company chooses not to charge children then they are still a passenger following train policy, just like you.

Why should two passengers be inconvenienced (parent and child) just because you want a seat that you aren’t entitled to.

I agree with this. I would make my 13 year old give up a seat for an elderly person for sure, (have taught him to do this anyway since he was about 8 or 9 so he wouldn’t need to be asked) but 3 year olds will get squashed and knocked over on a packed train, and are much safer on a seat.