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Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 11/09/2025 13:03

ishimbob · 11/09/2025 12:54

No but they can stand.

If not paying means no seat, which various posters are claiming

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Eh? It has been the rule for decades (if not longer) on public transport that people give up their seats for the elderly and disabled.

Alwayscoffeefirst · 11/09/2025 13:02

I’m sorry, but why does it matter if they have paid for a ticket or not for the child? 60+ travel for free in London, do we expect them to give up their seats?

Grammarnut · 11/09/2025 13:02

No. Presumably parents have paid for a seat for the child and you can't allow a 3=year-old to stand because of safety issues. When travelling by train with DC (long ago) I paid for a seat, so they sat. Would expect my teenage DC to offer their seat to an elderly person, or a woman carrying a child.

ThisCantBeRightCanIt · 11/09/2025 13:02

Children should be put in overhead storage, people are acting like Children are actual people with thoughts and feelings but what do they contribute? so glad I was never a child...

glittereyelash · 11/09/2025 13:01

I've had this a few times with my son. People expect him to sit on my knee or stand up so they can sit down. We've also been asked to move from disabled seating a few times. He has a disability and I'm his carer. I always find it really bizarre how offended people get when I explain that he needs his own seat. I get questioned on the nature of his disability, my parenting, manners, respecting elders. There's no harm in asking people but be prepared for them to say no.

user1471538283 · 11/09/2025 13:01

I would and did when my DS was that age. But then I'm given up my seat for pregnant women or older people. My DS gives up his seat for women now.

ishimbob · 11/09/2025 12:58

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:53

How selfish. Very often the person has boarded an already full train at a later stop. Presumably you chose to have a child in the first place which means you are responsible for them at all times. This includes putting up with a squirming child on your lap if necessary.

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But it's not necessary.

If I have my kids with me on a train and they have a seat, there is no need for me to put up with them on my lap.

Of course I would give up a seat for someone unable to stand - but the children aspect of that is irrelevant, I would do that whether or not my children were with me

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:58

We are going round in circles. No wonder there are so many badly behaved children these days. Your right to have children does not abdicate you from your responsibility to society. I am obviously from a different, generally more civilised generation where this entitled behaviour would have been frowned upon.

Wynter25 · 11/09/2025 12:58

I wouldn't move my 3yr old.

TigerRag · 11/09/2025 12:56

Are people suggesting that disabled people who don't pay on buses have to stand too?

Pregnancyquestion · 11/09/2025 12:54

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:53

How selfish. Very often the person has boarded an already full train at a later stop. Presumably you chose to have a child in the first place which means you are responsible for them at all times. This includes putting up with a squirming child on your lap if necessary.

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Why when they have a seat?

ishimbob · 11/09/2025 12:54

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/09/2025 12:51

Over 60s can’t sit on their parents laps!

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No but they can stand.

If not paying means no seat, which various posters are claiming

Pregnancyquestion · 11/09/2025 12:54

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:03

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

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Because they got there first

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:53

OxfordInkling · 11/09/2025 12:48

Nah. I used to do this too. I’m not having a kid on my lap the whole damn way.

OP - it’s a busy train. You’ll just have to be faster in the future.

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How selfish. Very often the person has boarded an already full train at a later stop. Presumably you chose to have a child in the first place which means you are responsible for them at all times. This includes putting up with a squirming child on your lap if necessary.

TigerRag · 11/09/2025 12:53

Bigtom · 11/09/2025 12:35

My 12 year old was asked by an able bodied adult to stand so the adult could sit. My DC did as asked, but I’ve told them not to do so in future unless they’re in a disabled seat. Why should an able bodied adult have more right to the seat than a child?

How do you know the adult was able bodied? You can't know unless they actually tell you

My disabilities aren't obvious but I can't stand on moving public transport safely

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 12:52

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:49

Because children under school age are small enough to sit on a parent's lap. If you read my full post, you will see that I did exactly this on many occasions while on public transport. In any case, a child is probably safer sitting on a lap with arms round them than loose on a seat that is too big for them.

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In many cases they're not, plus it's not just about being small. You're not more important than 2 other people. Get a grip.

tripleginandtonic · 11/09/2025 12:51

Yes a child should be on a lap.

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/09/2025 12:51

ishimbob · 11/09/2025 12:44

I don't think they are in the minority

If you travel by train as a family regularly you will almost certainly have a Friends and Family Railcard which requires you to book tickets for all children including under 5s. It is almost always cheaper to do that than pay full price even if your child is free

Also.. no one says that over 60s on buses shouldn't sit down because they haven't paid

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Over 60s can’t sit on their parents laps!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/09/2025 12:51

Little kids don’t know how to stand safely on trains and woukd
be knocked over. Mum would end up carding him and breaking her back while holding on with one hand. Child got there first. If you need a seat ask someone in the priority seats to give it up for you.
would you sit on your boyfriends lap to make space for other people?

Katemax82 · 11/09/2025 12:50

I wouldn't ask but I'd be a bit annoyed cos I always put my children on my lap on busy public transport

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:49

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 12:43

So, you putting your comfort above theirs is 'safety and good manners'? Howso?

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Because children under school age are small enough to sit on a parent's lap. If you read my full post, you will see that I did exactly this on many occasions while on public transport. In any case, a child is probably safer sitting on a lap with arms round them than loose on a seat that is too big for them.

OxfordInkling · 11/09/2025 12:48

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/09/2025 12:29

Fair enough.

Although I suspect you are very much in the minority.

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Nah. I used to do this too. I’m not having a kid on my lap the whole damn way.

OP - it’s a busy train. You’ll just have to be faster in the future.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 12:46

hulahooper2 · 11/09/2025 12:45

sadly I think this is a generational thing .I was brought up to give my seat to an adult and either stand or sit on my parents knee. Most children travel free and imo it shows bad parenting nowadays

Absolutely incorrect. An able bodied adult isn't more important than a child.

InMyShowgirlEra · 11/09/2025 12:46

LittleBitofBread · 11/09/2025 12:44

In terms of it having rights, no. But the conversation was about the comfort or discomfort of having something/a child on your lap.

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Does you bag wriggle and squirm? Does it occasionally accidentally elbow you in the ribs? Does it try to get down and express discomfort? If so, that bag should not be on a train or anywhere else and you need a good exorcist.

hulahooper2 · 11/09/2025 12:45

sadly I think this is a generational thing .I was brought up to give my seat to an adult and either stand or sit on my parents knee. Most children travel free and imo it shows bad parenting nowadays