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Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:45

@BananaPeels and @Kirbert2, any bags were at my feet and my oldest is autistic and went to a special school when he was older. Autism was not nearly as well known in the nineties. We managed fine.

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 13:45

Kirbert2 · 11/09/2025 13:39

and some children simply aren't capable of it and are much safer sat in their own seat.

Some people seem to be forgetting that children can have hidden disabilities and/or mobility issues too.

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Agree. I think if it’s practical then children can sit on a lap but I wouldn’t judge someone who didn’t do it. My view is that if a child is quiet and happy in the seat, that is far better for everyone else that they remain quiet and happy. Having 2 wriggly children getting in other people’s space to give an able bodied adult the seat seems just incredibly impractical. I’d be annoyed as a passenger in a packed train if a previously happy child had to move and kicked off making noice because of this.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 13:44

Aleshafromtheblock · 11/09/2025 13:37

They Don't like children, don't like men, don't like the working class, don't like their own country... horrible old bags too be honest 😆

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No need to be ageist, thanks all the same.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 13:43

What sort of train are people travelling in that they can fit a child or two standing in front of them? All the trains I have been on recently only have a few inches between my knees and the seat in front. Either that or my knees are under a table and I a trying not to play footsies with the passenger opposite.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 13:43

Expecting someone else's seat is entitlement.

Kirbert2 · 11/09/2025 13:39

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 13:36

On a packed train? There are other people sitting either side of you! Wow. I wouldn’t have wanted to have disturbed the people either side of me with the children wriggling and getting in Their space. No way my child at 2 would have sat still enough for me to hold both children and my bags.

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and some children simply aren't capable of it and are much safer sat in their own seat.

Some people seem to be forgetting that children can have hidden disabilities and/or mobility issues too.

LEWWW · 11/09/2025 13:38

Depends, I would if it was an elderly/disabled person, obviously but more than likely would stand up and let my child sit. Depends how long the journey is too, we regularly do 5 hour train journeys and so therefore I do pay for my 3 year olds seat which is reserved as nobody wants their 3 year old sat on their lap for 5 hours 🤣

Aleshafromtheblock · 11/09/2025 13:37

Luxio · 11/09/2025 10:27

Some people on this thread really don't seem to like children.

They Don't like children, don't like men, don't like the working class, don't like their own country... horrible old bags too be honest 😆

JustMerelyHere · 11/09/2025 13:37

LeaderBee · 11/09/2025 10:00

As much as i dislike children, they too are actually humans...

Definitely my favourite comment today!

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 13:36

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:34

I did and I had them both on my leg - one on each leg.

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On a packed train? There are other people sitting either side of you! Wow. I wouldn’t have wanted to have disturbed the people either side of me with the children wriggling and getting in Their space. No way my child at 2 would have sat still enough for me to hold both children and my bags.

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:34

*lap

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 13:34

Minkton · 11/09/2025 13:28

“ entitled” is a current social media buzzword used to describe people that hope for civility.

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Civilisation is measured by how it treats its weakest members.

CharlieEffie · 11/09/2025 13:34

My 3 year old would not sit on my lap on a train. So no. Maybe book a seat??

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:34

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 13:31

What would you have done if you had had 2 children under 4? One on your lap and where would the other have gone?

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I did and I had them both on my leg - one on each leg.

Minkton · 11/09/2025 13:31

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:30

And is it really too much to hope for?

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There seems to be a tranche of unfortunates that regard civility as beyond them.

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 13:31

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:28

Exactly. As a child, in the prehistoric seventies, l and every other child of that age in that generation, would have been sitting on their parents' laps so that an adult could have the seat. She knew that it was she who had that responsibility to others. As did l in the nineties. I am an adult and have been for a long time. Having been considerate to other adults in the past, surely others could show some consideration towards me. Would you have your selfish attitude towards my mother, who is in her eighties but looks younger, because she has no obvious disabilities?

What would you have done if you had had 2 children under 4? One on your lap and where would the other have gone?

wldpwr · 11/09/2025 13:31

I think this speaks to some interesting changes in how kids are viewed in society. Now, we believe them to be people with AS MUCH RIGHT to a seat as an adult. This is so obvious to most people in their 20s, 30s, 40s it doesn't even need to be said. Perhaps to people of an older generation it seems odd. I don't think my children should automatically give up their seat for an able bodied adult. I don't want them to feel either superior to OR LESS THAN anyone else. And as they mature I expect them to look after others who need help more and more, reflecting their growing maturity and capability.

Minkton · 11/09/2025 13:31

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 13:25

Indeed. Imagine thinking you have a right to someone else's seat. Mind blowing.

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Indeed. Imagine thinking that civility should be legislated, because people are
stuck in solipsistic bubbles of selfishishness and obliviousness.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 11/09/2025 13:30

Dliplop · 11/09/2025 13:12

We usually give seats to the kids and then stand ourselves. Having them on my lap feels less safe on most buses and trains.

We tended to do that but occaionally had someone kick off about that - I remember FIL kicking off back having offered his seat - either you want a seat or not and the kids are our concern not yours.

Theroadt · 11/09/2025 13:30

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 12:42

Yes I would. I cannot stand for a long time journey without becoming very uncomfortable and, certainly, when my own children were that age, I would have and did put the child on my lap in those circumstances. For those saying that the adult is steadier on their feet, this is true but nobody is expecting a young child to stand; simply to sit on their mother's lap while allowing an adult, who has probably paid a fortune for their fare, to sit down. The sense of entitlement by so many on here is breathtaking. What are you teaching your children? That their needs trump everyone else's and that it is ok to be selfish? Several years ago, l was boarding a very crowded train. The one person who came to my aid was a lovely Kurdish gentleman, who asked his son, who was about ten, to stand up for me. He then made sure his son was safe by putting his arms round him. It's called common decency and good manners.

Agreed. I hope posters on this thread don’t moan about those kids growing up to be disrespectful, rude and selfish adults. Cos that is definitely the message the mum is giving and teaching to her child.

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:30

Minkton · 11/09/2025 13:28

“ entitled” is a current social media buzzword used to describe people that hope for civility.

Show quote history

And is it really too much to hope for?

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 13:28

Exactly. As a child, in the prehistoric seventies, l and every other child of that age in that generation, would have been sitting on their parents' laps so that an adult could have the seat. She knew that it was she who had that responsibility to others. As did l in the nineties. I am an adult and have been for a long time. Having been considerate to other adults in the past, surely others could show some consideration towards me. Would you have your selfish attitude towards my mother, who is in her eighties but looks younger, because she has no obvious disabilities?

Minkton · 11/09/2025 13:28

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 13:26

Maybe time to reflect upon your sense of entitlement?

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“ entitled” is a current social media buzzword used to describe people that hope for civility.

Theroadt · 11/09/2025 13:28

MellowPinkDeer · 11/09/2025 10:02

In commuter time I’d be asking them to sit on a lap. They are riding for free and others pay thousands a year, it’s really inconsiderate I think.

edited to add I think the parent is very inconsiderate- not the small child!

Edited

This

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 11/09/2025 13:26

LeaderBee · 11/09/2025 10:00

As much as i dislike children, they too are actually humans...

😂 fair enough

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