Children having their own seat on a packed train.

Exactly this!

I am shocked at the lack of manners and sense of entitlement. My children would have been on my lap. Now they are older, they would willingly stand so an adult could have a seat. It is about manners, respect, and kindness. These are important life skills.

Why should a three year old give up their seat for a pregnant or elderly person and not a health adult who is actually able to reach holds, won’t be fallen over, won’t get wacked in the head by luggage, or badly scalded by a spilt drink, doesn’t tire so quickly, and is able to judge for themselves how to deal with people passing by?

I still haven't seen an answer as to why an able bodied adult is more entitled to a seat than a child who got there first. It seems to be just an inherent sense of entitlement, and the view that children are a public nuisance and not full members of society with their own rights. And the parent should suffer to make sure everyone else is comfortable as a punishment for daring to exist in public with children. "In my day" is not really a valid reason. As the parent, you have a right to sit comfortably, especially if the child is already safely seated. There’s no moral obligation to make yourself uncomfortable just to satisfy someone else’s perceived “need” for a seat, or feeling that a child does not deserve it. Posters comparing children to bags, and calling them "it" only reinforces what I've written.

Not everyone would manage fine.

It isn't just Autism either, my son is physically disabled and can't stand. Sitting on my lap wouldn't work either due to issues he has with his legs.

On a busy train with his wheelchair folded, he just looks like a typical child who isn't disabled.

Odd, twins I’ve been on are standard size and a healthy weight person who want super tall would fit with a dc on each leg. Wouldn’t want to do it for a 2 hour journey mind. I would give my 2 dc the seat to share and stand myself at that point.

On short journeys I used to have twins on my lap (one on each knee) but longer journeys we’d sit 3 along a row of two seats as they fitted fine. I don’t think young dc should stand on a train as they don’t have the balance but my experience of taking 3 dc to London is train passengers always offering young dc their seats. My experience is very different to the one portrayed on mn.

I wouldn't ask.....but I would secretly judge the parent for not having the awareness to see that others are standing, and move a small child onto their lap.

As a parent I would never let my children occupy a whole seat if adults were standing. I know respecting elders doesn't count for much nowadays, but it's what I tried to teach my children.

Maybe some trains have more space than others but there isn't room to do that on the local trains where I am. There's barely room for your two legs without children on them.

Problem is my toddler sometiments doesn't really love sitting on my lap. If I put him on my lap, he starts climbing over me, looking behind him, tries to run off etc etc. So it might be easier for everyone if he does sit and is distracted with a book or the window or sth.

Course I would..children are much more able to stand or sit on a lap then an older person or pregnant woman.

When we were kids we were always told to get up for someone more needy.
Ive noticed the last few years on packed buses, parents will stand and give the seat to the 3 year old..🤣 madness

God some of you literally hate everyone.

Young children aren't given free access to public transport because they don't take up any space, they are given free access to public transport to help families, and mothers in particular gain affordable access to various public services, at a time in their lives where their earnings are likely to be diminished for childcare reasons.

I wouldn't demand someone with an OAP bus pass give me their seat because they got it for free, why would I do the same to a child?

Seats are taken on a first come first serve basis - disability not withstanding (yes before someone makes a fuss temporary disability counts too eg. hyperemesis or pregnancy PGP I cant be fucked with the what-abouters on here. Can we all try and get a bit of nuance back please.)

Just let things go, it isn't that hard and it will bring your blood pressure down.

I'm still waiting to be told why a young child (a weaker member of society) needs to give up their seat for a fully able and healthy adult.

I'm yet to hear a decent response as cos of money and they need to be shown that they need to show others respect and they aren't deserving of any don't appear to be a good reasons to me.

I would have moved my child.

I wouldn't expect a 3 year old to give me their seat, no. I would move a young child onto my lap out of courtesy though.

Last time I was on a busy train, I was coming back from a show with my 7yo who was asleep in a window seat. A woman asked me if I would wake my DD, so she could have her seat. The answer to that was a definite no. I'm not sitting on a packed train for 1.5 hours with a 7 year old on top of me.

So, you’re teaching your child that when a stranger asks for assistance, they’re just to say no. Great parenting. In this day and age, with people being so readily abusive, thoughtless and inconsiderate, I’d be surprised if people asking for a seat don’t actually have a good reason. Presumably, for you to give a toss they’d need to hold a placard detailing that they’re on their way home from chemo, their prosthetic limb is causing them pain, they’re recovering from surgery or whatever the case may be. Heaven forbid your child should have to stand up. Thoughts and prayers.

And the joy of trying to sort out food and drink for them which they will need to on a five hour journey.

No I wouldn’t ask to take the seat - the parent could have back issues or leg issues and have a reason that they can’t have their child sat on their lap. And I also wouldn’t think I was the special adult who could take the seat from the child in the first place, what about the other stood adults?

Tell me you don’t have a 3 year old without telling me you don’t have a 3 year old…

There is a big difference though between a 3 year old and 11 year old

I was asked to move from a priority seat that I'd booked. I'm In my 70s with arthritis so the extra l le g space helps. Seat next to me was empty so the train manager asked if the woman could sit down as she needed a seat. I must have looked puzzled and said yes the seat is free. He said no she wants your seat so her friend can sit with her. I refused to move as she didn't seem any less mobile than me and the young woman with her wasn't claiming to need a seat. They went off in a huff and the mad thing was the seat on the other side of the aisle was free so the could have been next to each other in aisle seats.

No I wouldn't expect to sit down, a 3 year old isn't a teeny baby they need their own set on a plane, so I'd expect the same on other modes of transport. They are too big to be sat on someone's knee for a long journey.

I certainly wouldn't be expecting a 3 year old to stand for a grown adult to sit, if someone elderly got on I'd stand for the elderly person but my child would stay sitting. Why don't you ask an adult if you need a seat and it isn't obvious you are pregnant or disabled?

And the argument about whether they pay, I don't approach elderly people with free bus passes and ask them for their seat, you know as I'm paying and they are riding for free.

Also, I did not allow them to get in anyone else's space. If you chat to them/show them things outside the window, they are fine.

On a seat as, in this case, there is clearly no other reasonable option.

A child under 5 sitting on your lap on a train?
Have you actually been on a train?
That could be a very tight squeeze if someone is either side of you or you are at a table..
I would much prefer a 3 year old child sit down on a seat and be safe, rather than to stand potentially getting knocked over / trodden on.
Regardless if they have paid or not.
You standing is unlikely to cause you an injury like a small child may get