Children having their own seat on a packed train.

I’m pretty sure the person just thought they, as an adult, had more right to the seat than my DC, as a child. Without them explaining themselves, who knows?

My DC felt too embarrassed to explain that she had a reason for needing to sit down, so stood even though it caused her some discomfort to do so. I have now taught her she doesn’t need to give up her seat in these circumstances without a reason being offered. Seems fair to me.

I don't have a child under 5, so nice assumption.
HTH

If we are going down the route of people who have paid more tax getting preference for seats on trains….

Your post does not answer the question I was addressing. Here's what I was responding to in case you missed it: "Your choice to have children. Why should others stand just so you don't have to be inconvenienced?"

Being considerate or not is a personal decision. It has nothing to do with the poster stating that their convenience trumps that of the child and parent.

Why did they ask a 12 year old, and not another adult?

Depends on how they do it. I wasn't impressed when someone practically barked at my son to stand up so he could sit down and even more so when I explained it isn't possible due to his disability and earned an eye roll in response.

It
used to be normal that children stood or sat on laps when adults needed a seat because ( on the whole of course ) they are better able to stand or sit on laps than adults , they have less responsibility in life , and it teaches them that they are still children who should listen and respect adults ( unless the adults are dickish )

I would imagine the number of parents paying for a seat they could have for free for an under-five is vanishingly small.

well you obviously think that you i,portent enough to ignore the conditions of carriage on the train and let your under 5 take a seat from a paying passenger

I think a three year old is a tricky age where they are possibly slightly too big for a lap

A fit and non disabled child over the age of four should stand for an "older" post 60 year old person in my opinion. It doesn't do them any harm and hopefully will make them more empathetic in relation to others who might need the seat more.

Exactly. Unfortunately, rights trump manners, common sense and courtesy these days.

Asking someone for their seat is picking on them? Really? You have no idea why they asked for a seat and if you’re ever in a position where you need help from a stranger and they refuse you, your vitriolic attitude to life might be why.

I personally think it depends, if I was taking ds (about that age) on a long journey then I know he wouldn't sit on my knee for a long time so no I wouldn't move him onto my knee. He's as entitled to a seat as anyone else. Caveat to that would be if someone who was pregnant, elderly etc got on then I would move him but tbh I'd expect another adult to give up their seat first in that scenario.

If it was a short journey and I knew it wouldn't be for long then I'd move him onto my knee if it was busy.

It's not always great having a child of that size on your knee, especially when you're seated close to another passenger. Ds is really tall for his age and I'd worry about him accidentally kicking whoever was beside us etc when starting to fidget.

Also just to add, not all parents will be physically capable of having a small child sit on their lap in that way.

So have I, but that doesn't mean I think I'm more important.

Children are humans too

I suspect they've paid more than a 3 year old

It's a myth that current pensioners have paid for all the perks they can access!

Yes I'd put a three year old on my lap on a shortish journey (sub an hour). If someone came up acting as though my child was basically equivalent to a bag on a seat I would tell them to go away.
On a longer journey with seat reservations I would not, unless for someone elderly or infirm.

If you really want to understand it… I was taught to be considerate of others, especially my elders and I was taught to stand up in order that my elders can sit down… or sit on the lap of whoever I’m with. That’s it. It wasn’t thought of as making ourselves uncomfortable, it was thought of as helping others out. Basically, it was framed differently to how it’s framed now. The focus being on helping rather than on being put out.

As a parent I would put a small child on my lap - especially if I saw someone who might need the seat but I wouldn’t ask someone to move their child. To be honest small children would struggle to stand more than an adult and you can’t always reason with them to sit nicely so there’s a wriggling/tantrum risk which isn’t enjoyable for anyone.

You can pay a full fare for an under 2 so they get a seat. I did for one of mine at 22 months old. Had to hold them with infant belt for take off and landing but they has their own seat for flight duration

No, I wouldn’t, and if I were asked I’d refuse the request. I have a muscular condition meaning I cannot bear any weight at all, including children on my lap.

No, she's teaching her child to stand up for themselves when an adult picks on them. HTH

I don't think an adult should trump a child for a seat, just because of their age. If anything, small children get tired much more easily, can't stand as steadily and possibly need the seat more. I was out with my young children at the weekend and we'd walked round a big city all day, they were exhausted and it would have made it much harder to walk home at the other end had they not been able to sit down on the train on the way back.
That being said, they could sit on the floor I guess. I used to do this on packed trains when younger.
I can't travel with my kids on my knee as they are far too heavy (even at 3!) and it would be really uncomfortable for both of us - so no I don't think a parent should be asked to sit a child on their lap if the adult is perfectly able bodied and able to stand.
Different if they are in need of a priority seat.

Absolutely I would of put my child on my lap to give an adult a seat
It's called manners ,and it's what a lot of people lack