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Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:15

Satisfiedwithanapple · 11/09/2025 17:13

Mumsnet is a very strange magnet for people who are anti-children.

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Indeed.

SparklingRivers · 11/09/2025 17:15

SushiForMe · 11/09/2025 15:39

Yes 🤪 my DS, he still doesn’t mind so I’m enjoying it while I can. He is very light though. And very nice to cuddle.

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I was picturing mine at 11, they were about 5 ft 1 by that age!

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:15

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/09/2025 16:57

If a child falls onto someone the person they land on is going to be a heck of a lot less hurt than if it’s an adult that falls on them.

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And the child?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/09/2025 17:14

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:03

And if an adult falls onto them it is going to cause them a lot more harm than if they fell on another healthy adult.

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But according to the people on this thread it’s only children that have trouble with balance.

Satisfiedwithanapple · 11/09/2025 17:13

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 16:30

It's not an opinion that it's unsafe though, it's factual.
The safety of a small child, and their parent, isn't less than that of an able bodied adult. I'm sorry you seem to have been brought up in a world where children didn't matter.

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Mumsnet is a very strange magnet for people who are anti-children.

user1476613140 · 11/09/2025 17:10

No some 3yo DC are very heavy.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:07

EasternEcho · 11/09/2025 16:51

Small "adults"? Of course not. But they are autonomous people with rights and are full members of society, the same as adults. But some people think children should be treated as extensions of their parents rather than people in their own right. They’re expected to be silent, invisible, or apologetic for existing in public, and their parents should be apologetic for choosing to have them by ensuring that everyone else's convenience comes before their own. Why? I have no idea.

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Not just autonomous people with rights though - small children are the most vulnerable members of society.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:03

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/09/2025 16:57

If a child falls onto someone the person they land on is going to be a heck of a lot less hurt than if it’s an adult that falls on them.

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And if an adult falls onto them it is going to cause them a lot more harm than if they fell on another healthy adult.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:02

Thechaseison71 · 11/09/2025 16:47

Still do in much of the world

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And children die because of it.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/09/2025 16:57

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 16:39

Because their sense of balance is worse. Because they could fall over onto someone and hurt both themselves and the person they fall on. Because they're much smaller than most commuters and are likely to get knocked about (accidentally, of course).

Ultimately anyone in more need of a seat should have one. That includes small children, people with disabilities, pregnant people and elderly people.

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If a child falls onto someone the person they land on is going to be a heck of a lot less hurt than if it’s an adult that falls on them.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 16:53

Handrearedmagpie · 11/09/2025 16:52

Yes, i would expect them to sit on a parent's lap. That's why under 5s are free on public transport.

No, no, it's not.

Handrearedmagpie · 11/09/2025 16:52

Yes, i would expect them to sit on a parent's lap. That's why under 5s are free on public transport.

EasternEcho · 11/09/2025 16:51

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 16:25

All those who think three year olds are just small adults, most three year olds still need a nap in the afternoon, generally of at least an hour. Those that don’t still need quiet time to rest. A significant proportion are still in nappies. Most talk in 3 to 4 word sentences. If separated from their parents they won’t be able to give their address. Their bones are still forming in their hands and their feet.

Small "adults"? Of course not. But they are autonomous people with rights and are full members of society, the same as adults. But some people think children should be treated as extensions of their parents rather than people in their own right. They’re expected to be silent, invisible, or apologetic for existing in public, and their parents should be apologetic for choosing to have them by ensuring that everyone else's convenience comes before their own. Why? I have no idea.

StrugglingMumwhoCares · 11/09/2025 16:51

No, I wouldn't.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 16:50

Thechaseison71 · 11/09/2025 16:47

Still do in much of the world

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And?
We know it's unsafe.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 16:49

Rightsraptor · 11/09/2025 16:36

This is a change I've noticed in my lifetime: when I was a child we were expected to stand up for an adult - it didn't always happen, but it was expected. No adult would ever have given up their seat for a child, which I have seen and also heard being suggested by parents: 'maybe a nice grown up will give you their seat, darling'. Not this adult!

I wouldn't have said anything in your shoes, OP, but the child should be on the parent's lap yes.

Times have changed indeed, we recognise children as equally important nowadays. That doesn't mean we don't discipline them, but rather that we value them too.

Thechaseison71 · 11/09/2025 16:49

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 16:39

Because their sense of balance is worse. Because they could fall over onto someone and hurt both themselves and the person they fall on. Because they're much smaller than most commuters and are likely to get knocked about (accidentally, of course).

Ultimately anyone in more need of a seat should have one. That includes small children, people with disabilities, pregnant people and elderly people.

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Sense of balance? Mine has been crap for nigh on 50 years, both as a child and adult ( often occurs with hearing issues)

So by that reasoning I should've been give a seat as a child and stand as an adult despite balance no better

Thechaseison71 · 11/09/2025 16:47

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 16:29

Do you think they can sit on laps in cars too? They did in the 70s

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Still do in much of the world

Lavender14 · 11/09/2025 16:46

Rightsraptor · 11/09/2025 16:36

This is a change I've noticed in my lifetime: when I was a child we were expected to stand up for an adult - it didn't always happen, but it was expected. No adult would ever have given up their seat for a child, which I have seen and also heard being suggested by parents: 'maybe a nice grown up will give you their seat, darling'. Not this adult!

I wouldn't have said anything in your shoes, OP, but the child should be on the parent's lap yes.

Tbh I think it's much better that as a society we are becoming more child-centric. I wouldn't ask someone to give their seat for my ds but on the whole i think it's extremely positive that the fact you are an adult doesn't mean you hold the same power over children as would have been the case in years gone by.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 16:39

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/09/2025 10:03

Why is a child wanting to sit any more entitled than an adult wanting the same?

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Because their sense of balance is worse. Because they could fall over onto someone and hurt both themselves and the person they fall on. Because they're much smaller than most commuters and are likely to get knocked about (accidentally, of course).

Ultimately anyone in more need of a seat should have one. That includes small children, people with disabilities, pregnant people and elderly people.

Rightsraptor · 11/09/2025 16:36

This is a change I've noticed in my lifetime: when I was a child we were expected to stand up for an adult - it didn't always happen, but it was expected. No adult would ever have given up their seat for a child, which I have seen and also heard being suggested by parents: 'maybe a nice grown up will give you their seat, darling'. Not this adult!

I wouldn't have said anything in your shoes, OP, but the child should be on the parent's lap yes.

Bearbookagainandagain · 11/09/2025 16:34

I would try to convince my child, but realistically there is no chance my 3yo would agree to seat on my laps. And that's not a battle I would be ready to fight on a train...

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 16:33

Gwenhwyfar · 11/09/2025 16:31

Car travel is different e.g. we have seat belts in cars, but not on trains because safety considerations are different.

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It's still dangerous to sit a small child on the lap of a much larger person. HTH

Lavender14 · 11/09/2025 16:31

mamagogo1 · 11/09/2025 16:18

@Lavender14

you pay for trains even if you are in receipt of the state pension, only buses are free nationwide. A few cities have free trains but only local services not long distance

It depends where in the UK you are. It's completely where I am once you reach 65 for bus or train. There is also absolutely nothing I can find in the policies or passenger charter for our local rail service that states that under 5s need to sit on a parents lap. It says they may not be allocated a seat but my understanding of that would be that this is because they must be beside the adult accompanying them and due to being unable to travel alone.

I wouldn't ever think to ask for anyone elses seat unless I was really unwell and physically unable to stand. I certainly wouldn't take one off someone simply because i just wanted it.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/09/2025 16:31

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 16:29

Do you think they can sit on laps in cars too? They did in the 70s

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Car travel is different e.g. we have seat belts in cars, but not on trains because safety considerations are different.

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