Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children having their own seat on a packed train.

885 replies

user1493559472 · 11/09/2025 09:59

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

OP posts:
Neemie · 11/09/2025 18:03

Adults on the tube regularly give up their seat for younger children. The children often look tired and travel weary. They are also more likely to get squashed or bumped.

Vghgdsfdx · 11/09/2025 18:00

Who knew people felt so angry about who gets to sit on a train seat! 🤣

I catch trains all of the time with my kids and have never encountered any hostility, ever. People either sit or stand and get on with it, unless of course there is a person with a bag on a seat on a packed train . . . Now that’s a different story!

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 18:00

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:57

Trains do stop suddenly more than you might think.
Regardless, an able bodied adult isn't entitled to a child's seat. 🫣

Show quote history

The tube certainly does - I went flying a month or so ago when they did an emergency stop. We all ended up crashing into each other like dominos. Lots of British terribly sorry, sorry,sorry going on. No harm done could have definitely hurt a small child

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:57

ParmaVioletTea · 11/09/2025 17:55

Oh yes because that happens so regularly.

Not

Show quote history

Trains do stop suddenly more than you might think.
Regardless, an able bodied adult isn't entitled to a child's seat. 🫣

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:57

ParmaVioletTea · 11/09/2025 17:55

Oh yes because that happens so regularly.

Not

Show quote history

Why bother with safety at all. What does the odd child here or there matter?

ParmaVioletTea · 11/09/2025 17:55

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:43

If a child is on a lap in a sudden stop of crash then the weight of the mother moving forward will crush and kill the child.

Show quote history

Oh yes because that happens so regularly.

Not

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 17:52

Middlechild3 · 11/09/2025 17:45

the kid can sit on the parents knee

Edited
Show quote history

Many people have more than one small child. According to people on this forum, a mum is expected to balance 3 children under 5 and her luggage all on her knee and not inconvenience others whilst her children all quietly sit and do as their are told, all on a packed train.

Fern95 · 11/09/2025 17:50

Gwenhwyfar · 11/09/2025 16:27

Yes, they are still small, which is why they can sit on parents' laps.

Show quote history

Lots of us are petite and have big tall heavy children under 5 wearing clothes 2+ years above their actual age. My kid is wearing an age 8-9 top and trousers right now. She's 5. Her on my lap has always been a real struggle.

I think people make way too many assumptions about how old children are just by looking at them. I actually have a photo of her birth certificate on my phone now so I don't get refused when we go to stuff for kids 5 and below.

Children's train tickets are only £2 on the day of travel on most railway networks (most people have no idea!) so I would never assume a child doesn't have a ticket. Lots of families get a ticket on purpose to use the family Railcard.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:49

Seymour5 · 11/09/2025 17:45

Tell me where I said that? Although I’ve had a toddler on mine, my own child, and a grandchild on occasion. But a healthy young adult would be the obvious choice,

Edited
Show quote history

If that wasn’t the implication of your post then what was the relevance of it?

TheignT · 11/09/2025 17:49

HelenaWaiting · 11/09/2025 16:05

I would imagine the number of parents paying for a seat they could have for free for an under-five is vanishingly small.

Show quote history

More than one of us has said we do just that. I dont do it on the local train where you can't reserve seats but a longer journey yes I pay for him and reserve a seat.

BananaPeels · 11/09/2025 17:48

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 17:31

Yes you do and I have in the past. You have said that you have no under fives yourself. Do you have children at all? You have deliberately been goading the people on this thread who have a different view from yours; a view that was normal until very recently. It is about courtesy towards others. I love children, have three adult children of my own and have taught music to children and adults all my career. Yes, children are important - they are our future, after all - but child centred does not mean that they are the most important people. They need to be taught from the very beginning that they are not the centre of the universe and, yes, to respect adults.

Show quote history

how is giving up a seat for an abled bodied adult you don’t know a sign of respect When objectively as an under 5 you need it more? Why are unknown adults to you automatically worthy of your respect?

giving seats up for those that need them more - absolutely. random adult you don’t know, struggling to understand that.

BogRollBOGOF · 11/09/2025 17:48

I remember a regional journey lasting an hour+ badly timed into Friday rush hour with my 3yo on one knee and 5yo on the other knee. It was just a relief to be seated, and not wobbling around standing.
It got better for the last 15-20 mins when the 3 of us had enough space to sit across the double seat as the train thinned out.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:48

Mythologies · 11/09/2025 17:42

From British Rail:

Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket. These come with seat reservations (if available), and there is also a 50% discount on most tickets.

British Rail hasn’t existed since 1997

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:46

Middlechild3 · 11/09/2025 17:45

the kid can sit on the parents knee

Edited
Show quote history

No, they cannot, unless you don't care about safety.

Seymour5 · 11/09/2025 17:45

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:39

And you think a three year old should give up a seat for you instead of a healthy adult?

Show quote history

Tell me where I said that? Although I’ve had a toddler on mine, my own child, and a grandchild on occasion. But a healthy young adult would be the obvious choice,

Middlechild3 · 11/09/2025 17:45

Putyourfeckingsockson · 11/09/2025 10:02

Why do you deserve a seat more than a tiny child who has potentially been walking their little legs off? Children are also people with needs and feelings and if you wouldn’t ask it of an adult I don’t think you should ask it of a child. Hope that helps

the kid can sit on the parents knee

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:45

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 17:44

No it isn't but the way you write is. And what does that silly HTH mean?

Show quote history

Nope, not agreeing isn't goading.
HTH.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:44

MumOfTheMoos · 11/09/2025 17:42

Exactly- explain to them why it’s happening and just do it.

Show quote history

Sure, it's much better for the child to be in more danger. 🫡

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 17:44

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:36

Not agreeing with you isn't goading. HTH

Show quote history

No it isn't but the way you write is. And what does that silly HTH mean?

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:44

NamelessNancy · 11/09/2025 17:38

Surely it's safer overall to have two adults plus one child (on knee) seated and one adult standing vs one adult and one child seated whilst two adults stand?

Possibly not for the child.

Wherehasthecatgone · 11/09/2025 17:43

NamelessNancy · 11/09/2025 17:38

Surely it's safer overall to have two adults plus one child (on knee) seated and one adult standing vs one adult and one child seated whilst two adults stand?

If a child is on a lap in a sudden stop of crash then the weight of the mother moving forward will crush and kill the child.

MumOfTheMoos · 11/09/2025 17:42

Violinist64 · 11/09/2025 17:19

For goodness' sake. You do not reason or "try and persuade" a three-year-old to sit on your lap, you make it a fait accomplis. You say: "Olivia, you are going to sit on Mummy's lap now because this lady needs to sit down," while you are physically doing just that.

Show quote history

Exactly- explain to them why it’s happening and just do it.

Mythologies · 11/09/2025 17:42

From British Rail:

Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket. These come with seat reservations (if available), and there is also a 50% discount on most tickets.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 17:42

Thechaseison71 · 11/09/2025 16:49

Sense of balance? Mine has been crap for nigh on 50 years, both as a child and adult ( often occurs with hearing issues)

So by that reasoning I should've been give a seat as a child and stand as an adult despite balance no better

Show quote history

If you have issues with sense of balance then yes, you should sit down if you can.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/09/2025 17:41

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/09/2025 16:57

If a child falls onto someone the person they land on is going to be a heck of a lot less hurt than if it’s an adult that falls on them.

Show quote history

And if an adult falls onto the child the child is going to be hurt much more than if it's an adult they fall on.