Mad about DP refusing to do School Run

Classic abuse tactic he did there

He's behaving like a child, not only the school run stuff but flinging in your face that he's "technically" paying for your car? What are you saving him by looking after his children- its called a partnership... he clearly does not have a healthy idea of how a family works and needs that pointed out to him ASAP before resentment builds even more, which it will. I'm sorry OP.

How come he gets to refuse to do stuff? What if you refused to do it too? Who made him the boss of you? He’s a selfish twat.

Putting aside the 'should he do it or not' question (yes is the answer, obviously!) how can he hear 'I'm struggling. I'm exhausted. I am post-partum' and not say 'of course I'll do it'.

Rather than have you expend more energy fighting your corner and pointing out the bleedin' obvious. Is he quite the ticket?

He doesn't sound like he has your back. I'm sorry.

I'm not really sure how the OP managed to make another baby with such a lazy prick. I wouldn't be able to go near someone who treated me like such a skivvy.
Perhaps some counselling just for you OP to unpack all this. The fact that you are asking AIBU makes me wonder if this is coercive control.

Mu husband does drop off and pick up, I get the kids ready in the morning while he showers and log in at 7:30 and work a bit then shower before my virtual meetings at 9:30.

As far as night feeds, I do the midnight-6 shift while he does 7-12 so I can get ok sleep. He also does most of the cooking. I do dishes and other cleaning.

One time I was talking to my grandma about this and she was like "Wow! He helps you so much!" I just rolled my eyes and said they're his kids too!

IKR?

Your job is 24/7. Of course he needs to do school run.

You are 100% right to be mad. My partner does more than his fair share of the school runs and they aren't even his children. He actually offers to do it to help me without me even having to ask him.

Definitely fight your corner with this.

Sounds like youve got a third child! How lazy of him.

Dividing and conquering makes life easier. It would be easy for him to take the older one and it would be good for them to have the 1:1 time. It would be different if he was working but if he’s not starting until after school run there is no reason why he can’t be doing some of them.

It’s mostly dads dropping off at our school.
WFH is great for this, he should just do it…

Just for reference, OP, my second was a unicorn sleeper – DP still did the getting up and getting ready with our older DC, and the school run, before WFH. Because I’d had a baby! My body needed the sleep. It aided the recovery from a difficult pregnancy and birth to be left to sleep in with the unicorn tucked up with me; your DP is not just being a lazy, selfish so-and-so – he’s affecting your health.

Yes this is insane. What a lazy cunt

He stays in bed while you do everything and you’ve been up doing the night feeds? What a selfish prick! How can you possible find him attractive? Oh and does he think that mat leave = a holiday?
I’d show him this thread personally.

He needs to get your child ready for school and take him while you sleep ffs you have been up all night!!! It's common sense. He's an idiot

Ugh. Of course he should. My dh did all the school runs when I was on maternity leave and he wfh. I didn’t ever have to ask

Look him in the eye and ask him to explain to you, very carefully, why it is that his life should become easier and more restful after you have grown and birthed his baby, and he gets to actively make your life harder over and above the extra work and physical strain created by said baby.
Make the fucker squirm.

I am thinking of my lovely late father, who back in the 80s not only dropped me (and then my sister) at primary school on the way to work, but also four other children who lived near us. Every day. And my mum and all the other mums could stay home with babies, toddlers, or just their other household tasks that day.

He’s a cunt, OP.

At the stage where you’re doing night feeds and night wakes and night nappies, and recovering from pregnancy and birth, the other stuff isn’t 50/50: your partner is meant to step up 100%, so you can cope with the seismic physical, mental, hormonal and emotional toll. At the moment, you’re postpartum and stepping up 100%, and he’s lying in bed?! I’m not exaggerating when I say this is up there with the worst DH behaviour I’ve read on Mumsnet.

Tell the lazy sod to do his fair share. Not that you should have to tell him. Men like this make my blood boil.

My second was an awful sleeper and DH used to take the oldest to nursery everyday so I could sleep until the baby woke up.

My husband and I split all the nights - we did shifts as we had two babies who didn’t sleep well for months. So I went to bed from 8-1 and he slept 1-6. He worked in the office when we had babies so did all the nursery runs when we had our second. While he was at work I did everything and when he was home we both did half - my daughter was home two days a week so I had both kids and I’d basically throw them at him when he got home and go for a walk or a bath or something. He’d hang out with them, cook dinner and I’d resurface to eat with them.

Given that he works from home and apparently disengages all night I can’t really see why it would be so hard to spend 20 minutes parenting every morning. I think he sounds awful.

Even if he wasn’t doing the school run he should still be getting up and helping get DC ready while you’re feeding the baby, can’t believe he thinks lying in bed while you’re doing all that is acceptable!

I think he's gonna be in for a shock when you start working again! He's being a lazy twat re:parenting and needs to step up!
Make a list of the things that need to be done re:kids, show how many you do comparing yo him, and say he needs to take more on to balance the books. Also remind him that when you start working again, those tasks will need to be 50:50.