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Original poster

Teacher told my child that child is not a Muslim

511 replies

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 20:45

My daughter has recently started reception and asked me today if our family are Muslims, to which I said yes. She then started crying saying her teacher told her that she (my daughter) is not a Muslim. Is it unreasonable to be angry about this?

OP posts:
PorridgeEater · 10/09/2025 22:36

FOJN · 10/09/2025 20:56

It's not unreasonable to be angry if it's true but you've started a thread seeking support for your anger before you've established the facts. Hopefully you'll be feeling more open minded when you speak to the teacher.

This

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:35

@KitsyWitsy Im happy to accept it is a misunderstanding after clarification. After all what if in the unlikely event it did happen and the teacher holds and states out loud the same views of that children can't be Jews, Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Wicca, Agnostics, Atheists etc? It's just not her place and I will do the right thing by addressing it just in case and do it without trying to hurt anyone. Its not nonsense, it matters. It would matter equally if the teacher said that a child can't be an atheist.

OP posts:
Miniatureschnauzers · 10/09/2025 22:33

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 10/09/2025 21:59

Yet ANOTHER thread where a child has just started reception and parent is already mistrustful of teacher and ready to start complaining.

You were not in the classroom.
Before you take a 4 year old's word at face value, use your adult critical thinking skills.
And then ask the teacher if you still need to.

But all these mums ready to go up to school on the bounce in week one of their child's school career are going to find it a very hard slog for the next 13 years if they don't find some trust in the teaching staff.

I hear what you are saying, but I suppose for people who have experienced discrimination on the grounds of race/religion (potentially many times), they are potentially more likely to remain cautious distrustful until proven otherwise, and for good reason. I think it can be hard for people who are part of the “majority” in a particular area to understand that. Therefore the anxiety about their child being discriminated against is also higher.

@Jkam24 if I were you I would gently check it out with the teacher… “Dd was telling me you were talking about religion, I think she may have got confused…” I think the teacher’s response will give you a lot of info to go on about their outlook. I would really hope that the recruitment and training of teachers would mean that this would not happen

Anon501178 · 10/09/2025 22:33

Teachers are unfortunately untouchable on Mumsnet OP....they are always in the right and children in the wrong 🙄
(Then we wonder why kids grow up with low self esteem and other emotional difficulties)

Yes 4 year olds do embellish, confuse, imagine and misconstruct stories, but they can also be very honest.

Everyone is assuming the teacher hasn't said the comment for sure, but none of us even know her....and doubt she would be honest and admit it if she did say that!

Obviously many teachers would never say such a thing, however that doesn't mean none would! And situations like this are more likely around younger kids as staff will know that for the most part they won't remember then go home and tell their parents, or the parents won't believe it, so they can get away with it.

Something has clearly been said to upset this child (so comparisons about imaginative stories arent really relevant...this isn't just her having abit of fun) It needs following up for sure OP for the sake of advocating for your child, although unfortunately i'm not sure you'll get to the bottom of it.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 10/09/2025 22:33

KitsyWitsy · 10/09/2025 22:29

Don't bother the teacher with this nonsense. Use your critical thinking skills and accept that it's a misunderstanding.

They have better things to do than this.

Feedback to parents comes with a teaching position.
I don't know why pp's are being rude. OP is pleasantly replying.

40andlovelife · 10/09/2025 22:32

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:27

@PorridgeAndSyrup thank you, Ill definitely take this on board. Didn't realise feeling emotion in regards to a child I gave birth to would enrage so many people! You're either too invested or not invested enough - and this is from fellow mothers. People need to do better

I’m not sure anyone is enraged at you feeling emotional towards your child. Bit hyperbolic that. I think people think it’s a ridiculous thing to approach the Teacher with.

FOJN · 10/09/2025 22:30

I think approaching the teacher to confirm your daughter's record is correct so that her dietary requirements are met could be a non confrontational way to open the conversation. I would tell her you are checking because of what your daughter told you and take it from there.

JHound · 10/09/2025 22:29

I would find out more first. Seems odd.

KitsyWitsy · 10/09/2025 22:29

Don't bother the teacher with this nonsense. Use your critical thinking skills and accept that it's a misunderstanding.

They have better things to do than this.

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:27

@PorridgeAndSyrup thank you, Ill definitely take this on board. Didn't realise feeling emotion in regards to a child I gave birth to would enrage so many people! You're either too invested or not invested enough - and this is from fellow mothers. People need to do better

OP posts:
DaylesfordBroccoli · 10/09/2025 22:25

They’re so funny at this age, my Dd came out of school one day a bit upset and when I eventually got her to say what was wrong she said ‘mummy, why didn’t you tell me you’re Scottish?’ I said I’m not Scottish, where did you get that idea from? And she said the teacher had said something about Scotland and followed it up with ‘that’s where your mummy’s from’ she had obviously mistaken my accent. DD wouldn’t have it that the teacher was wrong!

Phatgurslyms · 10/09/2025 22:24

I bet she said something like @to me you are not Muslim, you are a lovely child called [child’s name]” I bet she meant well. I hope so anyway.

WonderfulSmith · 10/09/2025 22:24

I think it is a miss understanding.
Possibly your child said ‘am I a Muslim, miss?’ And the teacher replied ‘I don’t know.’ Your child only heard ‘know’.
Or perhaps your child said ‘I’m a Muslim, is my friend Muslim too?’ And the teacher said no.

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:24

@Pdam I do not hope her teacher will know, rather I hope her teacher wouldn't seem it appropriate to dictate either way whether a child should follow a belief system or not.

@CatrionaBalfour apologies yes she has been registered with her religion, but I don't expect teachers to know all the children's religion with the thousand other things they have to do. My main concern was what I've mentioned above.

OP posts:
PorridgeAndSyrup · 10/09/2025 22:23

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 21:33

I was a bit hesitant to approach the teacher as it will be an uncomfortable conversation, as it's both difficult as I don't wish to believe the teacher could have said it in a negative manner but there is also a small but real chance that it could have been intentional. Genuinely thanks to most of you - I'll do it although I'm nervous. Definitely not angry (although a bit cross probably would have been more accurate) anymore.

From experience, you've got to approach the conversation with the assumption that your child got confused. Even if you think it's unlikely she got confused, try and convince yourself that she was probably confused, and this will help you to keep your emotions calm and controlled (some of the other posters may scoff, but I don't care, it is very easy to get emotional when we send our little babies off to school and they come home saying someone's been funny with them!) So just tell yourself "she's obviously got a bit confused, she's obviously got a bit confused", then say to the teacher, "My daughter was a bit upset yesterday, as she said that you'd told her she's not Muslim? So I don't know if she's got confused or something, but I just wanted to make sure you know we are Muslim". Keep your tone inquisitive and your smile friendly.

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:21

@40andlovelife correction I'll have a polite conversation with her to get a feel of what happened and then everyone will get on with their lives. Who hurt you people 🤣

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 10/09/2025 22:19

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:15

Thank you everyone! I will have a conversation with her tomorrow and will think hard on making sure I'm not framing it like an accusation. Will update but I'm almost 98% sure I got irritated over nothing and that the conversation was completely misunderstood rather than some form of trying to tell a child they can't have a religion because they're too young or whatever other potential motivation there may have been.

Well done, go in with an open mind, I'm sure that it will be cleared up.
I don't doubt that teachers and other professionals might hold some unpleasant personal views, I doubt they would be stupid enough to share a private opinion, especially with DC, it would be career ending.
Let us know, if the thread survives. 💐

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:19

Thanks @teaandyarn and @BluntPlumHam I think you've hit the nail on the head - naively didn't think a mum community would be straight bashing but learnt my lesson! Not everyone can be reasonable and nuanced without getting worked up because it is a religion related topic. I'm going to leave it up so others can see what people are like on here. And again thanks to those who answered critically without rudeness or bias.

OP posts:
Pdam · 10/09/2025 22:19

If your child doesn't know how do you hope her teacher will know? I have a child the same age, they come out with some hilarious imaginative stuff when you ask them about their day, I'd take what your child says with a pinch of salt.

Pigriver · 10/09/2025 22:18

Ugh we have had this a few times, mainly in the dinner hall with the serving staff trying to stipulate which option the child was allowed based on their skin colour e.g. "no you can't have that you need the halal option" or trying to give a black child the non halal option. I (the teacher) had some choice words.

I would be concerned if they are making snap judgements based on skin colour though and would be questioning this.

That said my (white non religious) came home in reception and asked if he was a Muslim so you know, kids 🤷

Gallopingfanjo · 10/09/2025 22:15

40andlovelife · 10/09/2025 22:13

You’re going to go up to the teacher and ask her if she said your child is not a Muslim?

Grow up.

Show quote history

Oh come on, her DD was upset, why wouldn’t she ask what happened.

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:15

Thank you everyone! I will have a conversation with her tomorrow and will think hard on making sure I'm not framing it like an accusation. Will update but I'm almost 98% sure I got irritated over nothing and that the conversation was completely misunderstood rather than some form of trying to tell a child they can't have a religion because they're too young or whatever other potential motivation there may have been.

OP posts:
40andlovelife · 10/09/2025 22:13

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 20:51

I'll be addressing it with the teacher tomorrow in case it is a misunderstanding.

You’re going to go up to the teacher and ask her if she said your child is not a Muslim?

Grow up.

BluntPlumHam · 10/09/2025 22:13

teaandyarn · 10/09/2025 21:56

Unfortunately there are a lot of very hostile so called liberals on Mumsnet who will derail threads posted by Muslims.. there is a good group on Facebook (Muslim mamas) which might be more helpful.

I would ask the teacher without accusing her, just to find out her side. Quite often things get lost in translation by kids and she may have said something completely different.

Yep. I have just read the recent stuff. OP pull the thread if I were you. Mumsnet is full of them derailing it to get a chance at bashing you because dare you bring up an issue related to being Muslim. You have people telling you it can’t be true, someone saying your child is crying because of how you are raising them not the interaction at school and then irrelevant opinions about whether a 4 year old can identify as Muslim. Honestly seek help elsewhere because as I said Islamophobia isn’t an existing issue according MNS.

FOJN · 10/09/2025 22:11

ForgetMeNotRose · 10/09/2025 21:49

I don't know why this is so unbelievable to some posters. This same thing happened to a friend of mine.

I don't think it's unbelievable but I think it's likely due to a misunderstanding or a mistake which should be easy enough to clear up. The OP is asking if it's reasonable to be angry and subsequent posts suggest she suspects there is prejudice at play but I don't think she has enough information to justify either her anger or suspicion just yet and assuming the worst before approaching the teacher for clarification is not particularly helpful.