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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher told my child that child is not a Muslim

511 replies

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 20:45

My daughter has recently started reception and asked me today if our family are Muslims, to which I said yes. She then started crying saying her teacher told her that she (my daughter) is not a Muslim. Is it unreasonable to be angry about this?

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 10/09/2025 23:10

Hankunamatata · 10/09/2025 22:54

Your post made me think of the sketch and the misunderstandings or lost in translations kids have

Source: TikTok share.google/GMGdEy01Xkb1CgeMM

My daughter came home from Kindergarten years ago very upset, Don't make me do it Mummy! She had a note about a fund raising event at the weekend, a Bring and Buy Sale, they had been told about it in Kindergarten but she was adamant she didn't want to take part. After I manage to stop the flow of tears it turned out that she had been half listening and heard Bring a Bicycle, she thought she had to take her bike and buy something else.

BollyKnickerz · 10/09/2025 23:08

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 23:04

@BollyKnickerz her dad is white so I would say she is ethnically ambiguous

I wonder if it's that !?

I'd bluntly tell the teacher what was said. See her response and reaction and go from there.

Manxexile · 10/09/2025 23:08

FOJN · 10/09/2025 22:30

I think approaching the teacher to confirm your daughter's record is correct so that her dietary requirements are met could be a non confrontational way to open the conversation. I would tell her you are checking because of what your daughter told you and take it from there.

This ^ sounds like a good opening gambit for the conversation

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 23:04

@BollyKnickerz her dad is white so I would say she is ethnically ambiguous

OP posts:
Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 23:01

By the way people - I am a teacher. I've seen both sides, where kids get the wrong end of the stick and also when a fellow teacher has said something that's not appropriate. You'd be surprised how much it happens and adults think they can get away with it because they're addressing a child. People are fallible. I'm keeping an open mind either way

OP posts:
BollyKnickerz · 10/09/2025 23:01

Odd. I would very much doubt this was the actual conversation.

The only thing I can think of is : are you all white/British? Converts ?(Most people of the Islamic faith are not )

Petitchat · 10/09/2025 22:59

Lovelyladiesarenotinsecure · 10/09/2025 22:55

Hang on. Back the hell up. Because people are questioning a 4yr olds accuracy you’re saying they’re not invested enough in their children and need to be better parents?

Show quote history

I don't think she's saying that at all. It's getting late, maybe you need some sleep?
Meant in the kindest way....

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:58

@Lovelyladiesarenotinsecure ermmm no. I'm saying people always have an opinion on others and what their interpretation is of being too invested or not invested enough. How did you jump to that conclusion?

OP posts:
FrippEnos · 10/09/2025 22:57

Hankunamatata · 10/09/2025 22:55

And this one

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdb9URkU/

I always liked this one

A little boy was doing his maths homework & saying:
2+5,the son of a bitch is 7.
3+6, the son of a bitch is 9.
His Mom: What are you doing?
Boy: I'm doing maths homework.
Mom: this is how your teacher taught you?
Boy: Yes.
Infuriated Mom asked the teacher the next day- 'What
are you teaching my son in maths?'
Teacher: Right now, we are learning addition.
Mom: You teaching them to say 2+ 2, the Son of a bitch
is 4?
Teacher after laughing: What I taught them was, 2+2, the
sum of which is 4.

Lovelyladiesarenotinsecure · 10/09/2025 22:55

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:27

@PorridgeAndSyrup thank you, Ill definitely take this on board. Didn't realise feeling emotion in regards to a child I gave birth to would enrage so many people! You're either too invested or not invested enough - and this is from fellow mothers. People need to do better

Hang on. Back the hell up. Because people are questioning a 4yr olds accuracy you’re saying they’re not invested enough in their children and need to be better parents?

Hankunamatata · 10/09/2025 22:54

Your post made me think of the sketch and the misunderstandings or lost in translations kids have

Source: TikTok share.google/GMGdEy01Xkb1CgeMM

Petitchat · 10/09/2025 22:53

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:43

@PlaceIntheClouds "all het up." Here's another useful one!

Don't let people put you off @Jkam24

You have every right to check whether that was said to your child because if so, it's inaccurate.

And try not to be defensive or argumentative if that HAS been said (although I know you will feel annoyed)
Just pleasantly correct the misinformation.

Good luck....

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:49

@40andlovelife I don't dislike your opinion, I took it on board but pointed out to you that most have advised to speak to the teacher yet you are saying it's ridiculous to do so.. give me strength.

OP posts:
40andlovelife · 10/09/2025 22:45

Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:38

@40andlovelife Im not sure what to say to you except this is the internet and it was supposed to be hyperbolic. I would also advise on actually reading the comments as most people have advised to just ask.. can't do anything right us Moslems!

I have no idea why you would think my opinion has anything to do with you being Moslem. People can have different opinions. You came on here asking for opinions. I gave mine. You don’t like it so have attributed the fact my opinion conflicts with yours to your religion. Please grow up.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 10/09/2025 22:43

My DD was terrified of "Jerry" in preschool, she kept saying he stared at her, he looked angry, when I asked the teacher about Jerry, he was the classroom puppet, teacher used to tell stories. 🤣

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:43

@PlaceIntheClouds "all het up." Here's another useful one!

OP posts:
Beeloux · 10/09/2025 22:42

My ds is half Arab and doesn’t look it at all. Blonde hair, white, green eyes, no typical Arab features. People are always shocked when they see his last name and probably think I’ve been with the milkman.

They're also shocked when they realise he eats halal food or starts speaking Arabic. Could it not be that the teacher wrongly thought she was not mixed hence presumed she was not a Muslim?

PlaceIntheClouds · 10/09/2025 22:40

Perhaps this thread has run its course. There are plenty of opinions and further comments seem to only be getting op all het up.

teaandyarn · 10/09/2025 22:39

AIBU is the worst cesspit to be fair, there is also a Muslim parents section where you might get more sensible responses. I've been on Mumsnet for 18 years and its always been quite hostile so I only use it for advice on general topics on here.

Original poster
Jkam24 · 10/09/2025 22:38

@40andlovelife Im not sure what to say to you except this is the internet and it was supposed to be hyperbolic. I would also advise on actually reading the comments as most people have advised to just ask.. can't do anything right us Moslems!

OP posts:
40andlovelife · 10/09/2025 22:37

EmeraldShamrock000 · 10/09/2025 22:33

Feedback to parents comes with a teaching position.
I don't know why pp's are being rude. OP is pleasantly replying.

Show quote history

Yes one of the teacher standards does relate to communicating with parents. This is more about the child’s progress etc though. I mean it’s as though some posters think the teacher went up to the child and said ‘ hey you’re not a Muslim’. Come on! Where is the common sense? This is why I think the op will sound silly if she raises it.

pinkstripeycat · 10/09/2025 22:37

My child, aged 4, told a teaching assistant his dad was in the war. The TA told him not to be ridiculous, of course his dad wasn’t in the war.

I went and spoke to the TA. She laughed and said to me “Of course I told him not to be so silly. Of course his dad wasn’t in the war.”

I told her went faught in Iraq and some of them died. She looked stunned and apologised profusely.

CatrionaBalfour · 10/09/2025 22:36

Anon501178 · 10/09/2025 22:33

Teachers are unfortunately untouchable on Mumsnet OP....they are always in the right and children in the wrong 🙄
(Then we wonder why kids grow up with low self esteem and other emotional difficulties)

Yes 4 year olds do embellish, confuse, imagine and misconstruct stories, but they can also be very honest.

Everyone is assuming the teacher hasn't said the comment for sure, but none of us even know her....and doubt she would be honest and admit it if she did say that!

Obviously many teachers would never say such a thing, however that doesn't mean none would! And situations like this are more likely around younger kids as staff will know that for the most part they won't remember then go home and tell their parents, or the parents won't believe it, so they can get away with it.

Something has clearly been said to upset this child (so comparisons about imaginative stories arent really relevant...this isn't just her having abit of fun) It needs following up for sure OP for the sake of advocating for your child, although unfortunately i'm not sure you'll get to the bottom of it.

Edited

No, teachers are not "untouchable" on MN. That's silly. Why make sweeping statements like that?
Most people have supported the OP's wise decision for clarification. No doubt if she has concerns, she has the wit to take it further.

Snugglemonkey · 10/09/2025 22:36

ilovepixie · 10/09/2025 21:17

My niece what she was 4 told her nursery teacher about her hamster, it’s name, colour, age what it ate and did! She didn’t have a hamster! It was totally made up!

.

My brother did this about his baby brother. He was the youngest. The brother he talked about was his hamster. My parents found out when the teacher asked after Freddie and a weird conversation ensued.

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