To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

Go off sick then discuss it as part of your return to work.

I understand why you are trying to be lean with the details, but that is making people think you are a bit crazy. I think I see what is going on.

You are the stable person in your family and there are multiple family members having children that have been taken into care. So they aren’t siblings, but they are all related. There won’t be fallout if you don’t save the day because the greater family is a bit of a mess, but you still want to give these children a better chance.

am I close?

for what it’s worth, if I’m close, I think j you are doing the right thing, but I do think j you need to consider your limits. If you stretch yourself too thin you won’t actually be able to provide the children in your care. My real worry would be that the 4th child won’t be the last. If there is anyone else in a position to help, I would start the conversation now that they may want to consider being the foster parent for the 5th child.

as for work, flexible working requests in theory should happen just on capability to provide them, but the reality is that it is about retention. If they know you can’t get what you want elsewhere, they have little incentive to provide that work schedule. If you don’t want to change employers, ask for a schedule that you could realistically get somewhere else. They will know that you could leave at that point if they don’t comply.

Just spotted this organisation - Time off work for kinship carers - Kinship https://share.google/A870mIiYfEjv4TYCv
You may know about them but they could possibly be helpful.

Can you have an ‘off record’ conversation with them both? Explain your personal circumstances, also offer a trial where by you complete your work in the proposed 2 days and be on call/contactable the remaining days for a trial period of 2/3 months where it’s reviewed?
can you split the time ie 4 1/2 days? So your present 4 out of 5 days but less hours?
I wouldn’t loose hope, maybe be a bit more flexible with your request and keep them happy with an almost daily presence

No worries @Topoftheroof !

You want a freelance LP who’s ready to step up so will take the credit without the uplifted rate. They should already be at the company or a prior (loved) employee - they need to know the systems and have relationships with the channels so they can hit the ground running and you can seamlessly job share.

If they won’t go for that, no dice… (only other add-on to a No would be to go back with a final suggestion of the above but instead of 50/50 job share, offer 75/25 with you doing the 3 day week obviously!).

Please can you tell us the reason you're doing this?
I can't imagine feeling that much obligation to raise 4 children that aren't my own.
Is it purely obligation? Does having 4 Foster children make you fulfilled with life or is this destroying the life you wanted?
No hate, I'm intrigued and feel sorry for the position you are in x

It's an odd decision. If the children are not siblings, why would there be a family fallout? Do you actually want to take on this child? Nobody should take on a child out of obligation - it will not be good for the child.

I have two children and a full time job. I won't have a third because I don't have that time or bandwidth, financial or emotional. So I don't.

I cannot comprehend why you would tell your employer that you can do your full time job in 2 days (but then reserve the right to increase back to 5 days). You do see how ridiculous that is?

Have that extra meeting but I would go off sick if possible until you can manage 5 days or find another job.

Oh great. Your request for flexible working was declined, so you go off sick. "Lack of flexibility" and "trying to get rid of you" are inflammatory and unhelpful. The reason for the request will have been considered, but how on earth can you say that your 5-day week can be done in 2 days? If the work will be going to others, will they need to be paid more for acting up to your role for 3 days? And what about continuity for internal/external customers? I don't understand how this would work.

I’m confused - are you asking to work 2 days a week but get paid the same amount as you are now?
or get paid for just the two days?

Are you Staff @Topoftheroof or freelance / ftc? Would they have to pay double NI etc if you job shared? If you’re staff, could you suggest job-sharing with a freelance HoD to reduce the prod co’s costs? Is there a Line Producer they could extend / take on who would stay at their LP weekly rate (so no tax etc liability for the company) but get the title to add to their CV? Sweeten the deal for the MD!

But the family members who would fall out with you are not taking this on either. If they can say no to it then why can't you?

I’m amazed Social Services even agreed re the youngest child you already have, with your full time career. A fourth, and without their demanding that you go part time, seems very rash.

Agree with this. If you are willing to lose 60% of your income going 2 days a week, juts get a nanny.

If you receiving foster care momey weekly why cant you pay for a nanny or a childminder or private nursery for the baby. Then you won't need to leave your job

This is your life though. It matters. Your resources aren’t endless.

In what way would it not be simple? You mean there would be a big fallout with your family because you can't take the new child? Certainly. But you simply don't have the capacity. You are already a single parent to three young children, with a full-time job. You can't take a fourth or you would lose your career. It is simple.

I think it kind of is. You aren’t going to persuade the company to accept two days a week as a head of department with line management responsibilities. You aren’t going to get a similar job in any other company either, no-one will want to take that on. You can’t afford not to work. However tragic the circumstances the only thing that can give here is that you are not in a position to take on a fourth child. Four foster children is an absolutely full time job.

I’d be very surprised if you can persuade your company to do three days either, although three spread over four shorter days might be worth a try and fit in better with nursery hours. Good luck with the meeting but I do think you need to be a bit more realistic.

Can you explain why?

Can you say with (almost) certainty that the redistributed work you have proposed won't put added pressure and workload onto other teams and individuals? It seems inevitable that it would.

A two-day head of department seems bonkers to me, quite frankly, unless in very niche circumstances (and yes, I have worked in TV production before, though don't now admittedly).

I empathise with anyone going through stress with work aligning with personal life, but at the end of the day, your job isn't a charity. The job is there because there is a job to do, and you're not entitled to have a job created to your exact liking.