To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

If someone had tried hard to go down to two days a week because anything more was impossible due to childcare, then they came back with a plan that involved a lot of WFH, I'm afraid I'd be super suspicious that they'd be looking after DC on those working days. In the situation the OP describes, I think it's going to need a bigger solution rather than tweaking a bit here and there. Either she needs to not take on the 4th DC, or change her role to a more viable 2 day job elsewhere or find a way to make it work with professional childcare. Trying to adapt a HoD role in TV production to being sole carer for 4 very young DC with complex needs is too much to expect of an employer or of herself.

Jesus, okay! I don’t work in TV production, how would I know? I was trying to be helpful unlike the millions of others who keep telling she’s BU but not offering anything.
And, like I said, I wasn’t sure about the adoption thing.

@Topoftheroof- I would go back and offer 4 days a week but with 2 working from home. To be reviewed after 6 months and agreement you’ll go back up to full time or 4 days in the office if targets aren’t met / it is having a negative impact on the wider team /your direct reports.

(then I’d make sure my WFH days both followed an office day, end of office day have a number of emails ready to send in my drafts, log in on wfh days to send them a couple of times though the day, check nothing has turned up you need to deal with and treat it as an easy day.)

This. And telling them you could do your full time job that they are currently paying you for in two days a week is a bit risky say the least.

I really don't see how you can argue that you could do your current job in only 2 days but that you couldn't wfh for some of the full-time role as it's "complex".

Sorry, haven’t read the whole thread, but could you go to 3 days a week and potentially be “on call” for the other 2? Have your phone available during working hours so if they need you then they can ring?
Also, I’m not sure but don’t you get what is essentially maternity leave for adopting? Could this give you some breathing room? If the baby is 6 months old, would they be eligible for the 9 month funding soon?

I don't u destined how your current job which is 5 days a weeks can be done in 2? Will you work longer hours in the 2 days ? Will there be less work? Genuinely confused x

You keep saying that you could do your current 5 day a week job in 2 days a week. That’s something your employer is going to take notice of; you are telling them you have no where near enough to do which is a dangerous thing to say!

EDIT - just seen you meant via a job share, my mistake.

OP that's different. You're job can't be done in 2 days, if it involves redistribution of a large portion of your work on to others.
Team morale would be impacted and their productivity dipped, and maybe they feel your lens of just because you've planned to divide it out doesn't match the teams current bandwidth, responsibility levels and ownership and oversight. This doesn't sound like a leader either, give all my work to the team without considering the impact on that team.
As a senior ops leader if not sign this plan off.
Because it's not doable within 2 days as it stands now.

But live made other suggestions to you about how you make it more appealing to organising but restructuring the time off request to make it more palatable (above).

Other things to consider:

• would they allow you to do a sabbatical?
• can they offer you adoption leave?
• can you take a fixed term unpaid leave/parental so your job is their to return to
• can you use your annual leave in a smart way to shorten your weeks for a period of time?
• could you compress your hours to 3 or 4 days?
• could you split your work day do do an early shift and late shift and have more time free for the important child hours? (Longer days overall but more flexibility).

I'm so sorry that you're doing something admirable and finding it so tough to practically organise. This is a life changing decision, but it's very tough on your employer as they don't have to accomodate such a wildly different circumstance even though dependants are one of the core reasons they could offer flexible working.
You are not unreasonable to feel overstretching and upset but I do think the 2 days thing is unreasonable to the business and just because you've decided it's ok, doesn't actually mean it is. Your proposal isn't fair on your team.

A lot of people want to adjust hours after DC but it's a request not a done deal Op, legally you can ask but they aren't obliged to agree. If you work two days and the rest of your work is handed out to other staff how is it fair for you to get paid for five days?

Ignore this I didn’t read the whole thread and now I can’t delete it!

I guess you can be annoyed if you like but it's their decision & you talking your way out of a job completely! As an aside sounds like you taking too much on at home and how will you support 4 kids working 2 day week?

You can’t have a big responsibility like head of dept and only be there two days a week. What if a decision needs to be made on your day off?
also if you can fit it all into two days like you said what are you actually doing for the rest of the week?
Personally I think you need to step down into a non leadership role- you can’t be a good leader and a victim at the same time.

Topoftheroof, you are doing an incredibly difficult and wonderful thing, if only there were more people like you. Sorry if this has been answered already but in terms of the children, are you getting a proper fostering allowance from the local authority/ies responsible for the children as this may be a way to alleviate some of the financial pressures? Do they know about your financial and caring juggle? You are saving them £££ and a headache by being a family foster carer for the children so they should be helping you as much as they can, whether financially or some child care support - but lots of LAs don't so it is worth checking. Or if it's a private arrangement are you getting all of the relevant benefits etc? Do the LA know (they should if you're planning on an SGO at some point?) Good luck!

OP has clarified this at least 3 times

Not in your role. They may be willing to negotiate 3. I really cannot see how you could condense a five day role into two days.
I don't think you're looking at it clearly because of your personal circumstances.

Really so as a Head of Department who do your staff go to 3 days a week when you are not there. What are you doing the majority of the week if you can do your role in 2 days. Could you not start with 4 days initially see how that goes it would probably help your case more but if you keep insisting you can do the role in 2 days they may take a different view to that.

Thing is a HoD role at 2 days a week, regarded of your capability and skill wouldn’t work. You’re simply not there enough yo be across everything and inevitably any issues or more urgent decisions will be made to your reporting line - who pick up your slack but aren’t being paid to do so. That’s a lot of staff who then have a manager they can’t really engage with as they aren’t there, and when there have to prioritise getting there job/tasks completed in 2 days. I think them rejecting a 5 > 2 move (in any industry) is a completely fair and justifiable one.

What I think is unfair is them not considering moving you/demoting you into an entirely different role which is only needed for 2 days per week.

Is this because there are no current vacancies or open roles that fit this remit? If so, they can’t be expected to just create one that is not needed to accommodate you.

Feels like there are a few realistic options:

1. you can’t care for a 4th child - doesn’t sound like that’s an option
2. leave your industry and go into a completely different role which can accommodate 2 days per week
3. have you properly considered what government financial support you’re entitled too? As you’re working I suspect not a lot. If you’re taking on a full time foster/carer role and their are complexities, you deplore your financial support options as it may be you are entitled to more which could further enable you to switch industries to go 2 days per week even if on lower pay

good luck!

This. If that is true, then I would make the role redundant. That's mad

Apologies- not sure why a goodnight picture has appeared.

Could you apply to do 3 or 3.5 days?

You sound like a wonderful person. However you need a new job