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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

491 replies

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:09

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:27

MouldyCandy · 10/09/2025 20:25

I'm agreeing with others on this thread. How is it possible to do a FT job in 2 days a week?
Have you asked them what flexibility might be available? Ie three 9 hour days, mornings only etc.

I have asked a week ago but haven’t had a response yet.

OP posts:
Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:27

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:25

They know all about my current circumstances yes.

I could ask for that meeting I guess yes, we had a meeting though after I put the request in to go to 2 days a week.

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I do think they have to have some duty of care though, if you can’t physically do 5 days a week due to family circumstances then I would definitely have a meeting with them again about going to 3 days on a temporary basis.

I am not sure what you are going through but some employers would understand you needing this right now. Unfortunately it depends on the employer and they can still say no. It might be best to look for other jobs x

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:26

Worktillate · 10/09/2025 20:25

So you can't do it from home, but it's okay for you to not be there 3 days per week but you can still meet the requirements of your job?

That doesn't make sense OP

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The job can be done from home on some days but I can’t work from home at the moment due to my circumstances.

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:26

My reason for needing to go part time is not due to health.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 10/09/2025 20:26

OP how is it possible to do your current 5 day a week job in 2? There are plenty of part time people where I work, but HoD’s they might approve 4 days a week, but definitely not 2. What do you do on the other 3 days a week? What would happen if there was a massive issue with your team on one of the 3 days a week you’re not working?

Worktillate · 10/09/2025 20:25

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:22

Unfortunately not. It’s a complex situation/set of circumstances.

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So you can't do it from home, but it's okay for you to not be there 3 days per week but you can still meet the requirements of your job?

That doesn't make sense OP

redskydelight · 10/09/2025 20:25

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:17

They won’t consider a job share either.

If they had approved my request they wouldn’t have needed to hire someone else though because I could have absolutely done my job in 2 days a week, it is possible to do my job in 2 days a week in my opinion.

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if it's possible to do your job in 2 days a week, then great for your employer. They can make you redundant and give your job to a person who is employed full time doing the same job so they now have 4 days a week actual work. (they wouldn't make the other person redundant and you've been clear you don't want to work full time).

I don't think this is what you really want ...

On the more practical side, if you can't cope with full time work due to stress, then you can probably get yourself signed off and organise a phased return to work.

But before you do that ... have you had an informal conversation with your manager about your personal circumstances and what could be done to support you? They might be happier with a short term informal arrangement.

MouldyCandy · 10/09/2025 20:25

I'm agreeing with others on this thread. How is it possible to do a FT job in 2 days a week?
Have you asked them what flexibility might be available? Ie three 9 hour days, mornings only etc.

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:25

Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:23

You are not unreasonable to ask to go part time, they are not unreasonable to say no.

Do your employer know about your current circumstances? Could you possibly ask for a meeting with them about going to 3 days or 3 days on a temporary basis (say, for 12 weeks)

You need to be careful telling your boss you can do your full time job in 2 days!!!

They know all about my current circumstances yes.

I could ask for that meeting I guess yes, we had a meeting though after I put the request in to go to 2 days a week.

OP posts:
TappyGilmore · 10/09/2025 20:25

YABU. It’s not unusual for there to be less flexibility in roles like Head of Department and not up to them to find you a different role.

Would they consider four days a week? Because I think that’s the best you can expect in a leadership role.

justasking111 · 10/09/2025 20:24

FitatFifty · 10/09/2025 20:16

I’d start applying for jobs elsewhere and asking them for references, even if you aren’t serious about them. Maybe if they think you would actually leave it might shake them up.

I would look for another job

SoftPillow · 10/09/2025 20:24

I agree that 5 days down to 2 is a huge jump. Whilst you say you can do your job in 5, I suspect that not likely and if it were it calls into question your role. I would stop saying this at work, it won’t help your situation.

What I would suggest would be another conversation where you again state your need for flexibility and ask them what might be possible. If your need is due to ill health or other such reason do mention this also.

Could you do 4 days, or shorter hours, more WFH, different hours. Could you ask for 3 days but this time with a solid plan for how you would cover the remaining two (perhaps a trusted deputy who is looking for a step up, or increased use of systems making things more efficient, or a reschedule so that key meetings happen on your three days and the remaining two are for the team’s output) etc. Essentially you need to show that it’s considered and there won’t be any business impact.

I hope you don’t mind my saying but you sound a touch frantic, and perhaps a calm and measured approach might be useful.

Zempy · 10/09/2025 20:24

You will have to find another part time job unfortunately. Just keep looking.

searchforthesun · 10/09/2025 20:24

do you just drag your current hours out then?

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:24

Ponderingwindow · 10/09/2025 20:23

Could you ask if there is a reduction in hours that they might consider? My employer will not do 2 days a week, but they will do other reductions and working arrangements?

my arrangement is working multiple short days so that i am still present and available throughout the week, but I have time for my personal life every day as well.

perhaps they would be more amenable to 4-5 hour shifts instead of 2 days.

I could ask but I’m not sure I could make anything else work at the moment to be honest other than 2 days a week.

OP posts:
Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:23

You are not unreasonable to ask to go part time, they are not unreasonable to say no.

Do your employer know about your current circumstances? Could you possibly ask for a meeting with them about going to 3 days or 3 days on a temporary basis (say, for 12 weeks)

You need to be careful telling your boss you can do your full time job in 2 days!!!

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:23

CopperWhite · 10/09/2025 20:22

But you just said they are in a different role to you. So they are irrelevant.

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It doesn’t mean that my role can’t be done in 2 days though or that they couldn’t have offered me another role.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 10/09/2025 20:23

Could you ask if there is a reduction in hours that they might consider? My employer will not do 2 days a week, but they will do other reductions and working arrangements?

my arrangement is working multiple short days so that i am still present and available throughout the week, but I have time for my personal life every day as well.

perhaps they would be more amenable to 4-5 hour shifts instead of 2 days.

CopperWhite · 10/09/2025 20:22

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:21

There are other people who work 2 days a week though.

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But you just said they are in a different role to you. So they are irrelevant.

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:22

saveforthat · 10/09/2025 20:20

Could you work from home for a couple of days a week?

Unfortunately not. It’s a complex situation/set of circumstances.

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:21

BountifulPantry · 10/09/2025 20:18

Its fair enough to refuse it- 2 days you’re barely even there!

There are other people who work 2 days a week though.

OP posts:
REDB99 · 10/09/2025 20:20

Employers don’t have to agree to reduced hours. You’ll need to find something else.

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:20

SapphOhNo · 10/09/2025 20:19

YABU. You’re a head of department, so it’s not the same as staff in other roles who can be covered more easily on 2 days a week. The business is entitled to refuse a flexible working request if they think it would negatively affect operations, and it sounds like they’ve decided that a HoD just can’t be done in 2 days.

I get that your personal circumstances are tough, but ultimately they have to balance your needs with the needs of the business. They’ve said they don’t want you to leave, but that doesn’t mean they can bend the role into something that won’t work for them. If you can’t do full time, you may need to consider whether a different job elsewhere would fit better.

I would have been able to do my job in 2 days a week though.

They also could have offered me another role (even with less responsibility) in the company but they refused that too.

OP posts:
LuckyNumberFive · 10/09/2025 20:20

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:17

They won’t consider a job share either.

If they had approved my request they wouldn’t have needed to hire someone else though because I could have absolutely done my job in 2 days a week, it is possible to do my job in 2 days a week in my opinion.

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That's not the flex you think it is, though. You're admitting to your employer that you're being overpaid, underworked and twiddling your thumbs. The fact youve not broached your minimal workload previously would suggest to me as a manager that you're either lying now and it can't be done in 2 days or you've been taking the piss for a long time doing nothing 3 days a week.

saveforthat · 10/09/2025 20:20

Could you work from home for a couple of days a week?