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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

491 replies

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:09

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:38

I can’t go freelance/self employed either, that wouldn’t work I don’t think unless it was freelance for my current employer 2 days a week but I haven’t asked them about freelance yet

OP posts:
Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:38

I think you have 2 options here:

  1. You have a meeting regarding your circumstances again, ask for 3 days a week and say you are absolutely unable to do anymore due to circumstances. They say yes, then you’re happy. They say no, you find a new job or continue 5 days a week.
  2. You don’t have the meeting and find another job.
Daleksatemyshed · 10/09/2025 20:38

If it's a full time role then it shouldn't be possible to do it in two days, you're very underworked if you can do everything in so short a period. Be careful Op, you're talking yourself out of a decent job

SapphOhNo · 10/09/2025 20:38

You just need to suck it up and find something else.

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:37

I have line management responsibilities as part of my role yes.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 10/09/2025 20:36

I’m sorry OP but you’re being unreasonable here. I get it because for you this is an emotional thing but for your employer it is purely a business thing. The fact you can’t find any jobs to apply for for 2 days supports your employer’s stance not to reduce really.

You weren’t wrong to ask, they aren’t wrong to say no.

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:36

CaramelGhost · 10/09/2025 20:35

I can't imagine any company approving a HEAD of department to work only 2 days a week? How? I think your better off looking at other roles in your company and taking a demotion alongside negotiating part time hours for that role. I'd be really careful if you are being vocal that your role can be done with only 2 days?what are you even doing most the time?

I suggested to them another role in the company and they wouldn’t do that.

OP posts:
AgingLikeGazpacho · 10/09/2025 20:36

Not sure what industry you work in but is there scope for quitting and picking up some (self-employed) consultancy work instead?

Fluffywabbits · 10/09/2025 20:36

Put yourself in your employers' shoes. They must be thinking you're massively underperforming/ time wasting at the moment if you're genuinely dragging out what you say is 2 days of work over 5 days?

If you have line management responsibility, who are you expecting to support the team while you're not working?

CaramelGhost · 10/09/2025 20:35

I can't imagine any company approving a HEAD of department to work only 2 days a week? How? I think your better off looking at other roles in your company and taking a demotion alongside negotiating part time hours for that role. I'd be really careful if you are being vocal that your role can be done with only 2 days?what are you even doing most the time?

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:32

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 10/09/2025 20:31

Are you caring for an elderly relative, OP?

No.

OP posts:
AntlerMan · 10/09/2025 20:32

missmollygreen · 10/09/2025 20:18

"My full time job can be done in 2 days a week part time, But i may want to go back to full time in the future"

Why would they want you back full time if your job can be done part time?

This. IF they did agree and they cut your pay to 2 days a week and you manage to do the job fully, why would they then want to pay you over double later on to do exactly the same if you wanted to go back to 5 days?

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:32

They would be able to reorganise any work on the other 3 days too and I explained in my request in detail how that would work.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 10/09/2025 20:32

This is like those posters that claim to WFH and look after small children while still being the most productive members of the team. OP I think a lot of us are struggling to understand how you can manage a 5 day workload in 2 days if you genuinely have a 5 day workload.

Try to see it from your bosses point of view and make a case for how what you want can still work for them.

CallMeFlo · 10/09/2025 20:32

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:21

There are other people who work 2 days a week though.

Show quote history

But theyre in a different role. Theres people in my organisation who wfh but its not possible im my role. Every work plan doesn't suit every role

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 10/09/2025 20:31

Are you caring for an elderly relative, OP?

jaydeem · 10/09/2025 20:31

If you are head of a department, who are you suggesting will manage your team for the other 3 days? Are they expected to just get on with it until you are back in the office? If they don't need you for 3 days out of 5 why would they need you at all?

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:31

Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:28

Ah, so not that temporary then!

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Our flexible working policy says anything less than 3 years is classed as temporary.

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:30

Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:27

I do think they have to have some duty of care though, if you can’t physically do 5 days a week due to family circumstances then I would definitely have a meeting with them again about going to 3 days on a temporary basis.

I am not sure what you are going through but some employers would understand you needing this right now. Unfortunately it depends on the employer and they can still say no. It might be best to look for other jobs x

Show quote history

I’ll ask them tomorrow if we can have a meeting about 3 days a week/what else they might consider.

I do think their whole approach to my request didn’t show much duty of care to be honest

Unfortunately I can’t find any current jobs elsewhere for 2 days a week x

OP posts:
Amanitacae · 10/09/2025 20:29

The idea that you think your role can be done in two days is odd - HOD's need to be around for most of the week to head the dept.

If they let you go to 2 days, and either you are wrong, or you leave, then depending on size of company, arguing the case for your headcount to become 5 days again might be tricky. So granting your request is a risk they don't want to take.

Flexible working isn't granted on whether a role can be done in less days, the idea is that the work gets covered in other ways by the reappropriation of the funding for the headcount. Jobshare is one option, there are others though.

Basically it's a hassle and a risk for the employer, and they've rejected it having weighed up the risk that you might quit.

NuovaPilbeam · 10/09/2025 20:29

But I can absolutely do my role in 2 days a week, it is possible.

It is really dangerous to insist this while having been paid for 5 and not sought to be more productive. You've basically told them you are doing sweet FA.

They don't owe you anything

Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:28

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:28

The 2 days a week wouldn’t have been a permanent arrangement either and they know that, just for a year or two.

Ah, so not that temporary then!

Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:28

Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:28

Are you currently working 5 days still?

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At the moment yes but it’s not workable for much longer due to circumstances.

OP posts:
Original poster
Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:28

The 2 days a week wouldn’t have been a permanent arrangement either and they know that, just for a year or two.

OP posts:
Rubyredshoes12 · 10/09/2025 20:28

Topoftheroof · 10/09/2025 20:27

I have asked a week ago but haven’t had a response yet.

Show quote history

Are you currently working 5 days still?

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