To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

How long have you been looking for another part time job OP?

Probably one of the issues is about reallocating work. You say you have outlined how that can be done. They say it can’t be done. The reality is, it’s very difficult to do that without having some impact
on others. If others are going to pick up your work then either a) they will be overworked or b) they will need to stop doing some of their own duties.

I’m not in the UK but in my country there would be some financial assistance from the government in the sort of situation that you are talking about. I’m sure there would be something similar there. I think your best bet is to leave this job, find another which may well be fewer hours and lower paying, and take all the assistance you can get.

But don’t you see what message that sends out? If, for a year or two you could do your job in two days a week what possible incentive could there be for your employer not to capitalise on this saving and refuse to increase your hours to five days a week again. You have proved it could be done in two days so they would be insane to pay you for five days in a year or twos time.

Why on earth are they paying you for 5 days when your role can be done in 2?

Be careful what you wish for.

Could you work out how to use maternity/adoption leave entitlement to compromise here? You are taking on a huge commitment and I wonder if there is some way the company can help you as part of their inclusion policies/charity endeavors. wish you luck and admire the depth of love you are finding.

Can you ask to work five days but reduce your hours a bit so you are at least present at work every day?

Are you not getting a foster care allowance to help cover the cost of caring for the children? Hire a nanny to help you in the mornings or evenings (even just for the younger ones). Are you able to claim the free childcare hours? Would you not be worse off financially reducing your hours to two days than hiring someone to help?

This is very emotional for you and I am sorry you are struggling at the moment, but you also need to see it from your employer's perspective: as a Head of department and team leader, a big part of your job is to lead, coach, and support your team. That really can't be done in 2 days per week, it would have too big a negative impact on the team (and if you don't think that's the case, then maybe a leadership position is not the best role for you - which is ok too).

Asking to go down from 5 to 2 days per week is not a basis for negotiation, it's too disruptive for a business. My advice would be: ask to go down to 4 days for a specific period of time (3 months for instance), making the terms very clear on both sides so they know what to expect from you ("might not be permanent" is too unpredictable).

Also, if you keep telling them that "your 5-day job can really be done in 2 days"... at some point they will take your word for it, and quickly replace you with another person who will work more productively, essentially delivering twice as much output in the same time.

As sad as it sounds, the responsibility of your employer is to run their business effectively and productively, it is not to accommodate employees if their requests are too disruptive.

Wishing you all the best.

Could you say how long you need to reduce your days for? They're probably worried once you go down to two days a week, you won't want to go back to five. Perhaps you need to highlight your reasons why and reassure them that it's only temporary. Suggest getting something written up and a review date, something to give them a sense of security. Sounds like they value you as an employee but it is quite a drop of hours so will need a bit more persuading!

Hire a nanny?

It sounds like you decided to become the sole carer of 4 children and didn't consider that you actually work full time and just expected your bosses to comply with your wishes.

You didn't think this through.

Your bosses have no obligation to bend over backwards so you can suddenly have 4 children and a 2 day a week job.

You keep repeating this.

1. they do a different role to yours - you are a manager. Just because you feel you can do your tasks in 2 days, doesn’t mean that you should then be unavailable to your team for the remainder of the week.
2. the more people request a specific work pattern, the less likely the employer is to approve future requests of the same nature as they wouldn’t meet the demand. Example: out of 10 employees 7 request a Monday off - who’s going to work Mondays?? Just because other people can, does not mean everyone can
3. you can only appeal a FWR if you believe the process has not been followed correctly, they did not meet the statutory deadline for an outcome, or if they didn’t give you one of the six reasons (listed on the ACAS website) as the pushback. Just from your post alone I can tell they could probably give you three of them

This was going to be my suggestion. Can you discuss 3 or 4 days with them? It would be better than staying at 5.

Or apply for jobs elsewhere for 3 days per week.

I’d be careful. There’s countless people out of work in the tv industry and they’d have no problem replacing you while as you’ve seen, there’s no jobs out there especially with good family friendly conditions. It sucks but you might need to shift to a different kind of job, as four dc is a lot to deal with and the industry just isn’t inclined to be accommodating.

If your managing other people then surely 2 days of availability isn't good enough contact time

Keep negotiating. Ask again for three days. If they refuse, ask again requesting 4 days.

If they refuse again ask for a pay rise and start looking for something else.

If they genuinely couldn’t do without you, you would hope they would met one of your requests.

This

It’s admirable that you’re caring for these children, but being the (sole?) provider to four children and telling your employer that you’re basically only productive for 40% of your working week is a stupid and very short-sighted move.

How on earth would you be able to squeeze 40 hours of work per week into 16 hours per week??? I’m not sure you understand what you are suggesting here…as you are basically saying you believe your employer is paying you to do nothing for the majority of your current work time

Can the local authority offer an allowance to help you keep the children. I know some do when pushed. It is far far cheaper than paying for a standard foster carer and they're less likely to keep them together too. It sounds like if work don't agree to provide you with something suitable you won't be able to take the baby.

Can other family members not help with this?

It's admirable that you want to keep the children together, but if one else in the family is able to step-up, it's not fair on you.

In my honest opinion, don't do this. The children have been through enough, the whole dynamic will change if you take the baby.

Let the baby be fostered elsewhere to start with, with the proviso the siblings will have regular contact, maybe the baby staying with you and their siblings at weekend etc., and with a view to them moving to you permanently in a couple of years.

I say this as an adopter to a child who had siblings, so I am not saying it lightly.

They are not required to offer you an alternative role.

Flexible working requests can be rejected based on the needs of the business. You say your job can be done in 2 days. So realistically are you sat about doing nothing for 3 days a week? If the answer is no, then you cannot day your job can be done in 2 days.

There are very few companies that would allow a department head to drop to 2 days a week. Unfortunately you either need to put together a better argument and offer of how you will cover the role in less days/hours or find another job. For example, if they wont permit you to drop to 2 days a week. Can you negotiate to work 50% of you hours across 5 days and then flex when those hours are done, i.e. Monday Wednesday Friday working 8-1 and Tuesday Thursday 1-5.

You are head of department, so do other employees report into you? I wouldn't be impressed if my head of department wasnt there for 3 days a week. You mentioned some of your work being covered - so another employee doing your work.....would they get more money?
You may well have to look for another job.