To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

Sounds like you need to find another job that offers the hours you require. You can ask but companies don’t have to agree. You have done yourself no favours telling them you can do your job in 2 days, so they now know you have been useless for 3 days a week they have been paying you, so the sooner you leave the better.

You are not in a position to take the fourth baby. You have to say no. It really is that simple.

Isn't it? Surely you speak to social services and explain your predicament. You can't do what you can't do.

They may have disbanded since the pandemic but worth a look or a shout out to any former members / owners on something like ‘TV Switch Up’ or ‘TV Mindset’ on Facebook if not. You can post anonymously on them if you’re worried about anyone from your prod co seeing it.

I also came on to say sometimes if you find and bring in a jobshare person companies are more amenable to it.
Hadn't heard of Share My Telly Job, though; that sounds quite promising.

I’m probably wrong, but are you not entitled to some kind of “maternity” leave like when someone adopts?

Yes, I'd be very careful about this if you do go back to them.

Lots of employers won’t hire someone who’s overqualified so it makes sense that they won’t give you the role that’s a demotion. Despite your reasons for wanting that role, it’s often not the right fit for the company, not least the person who’d have to manage an ex-Head of Production in a lowlier role. They want someone at that level who’ll use the opportunity to develop, which you’ve already done. You’re seeing all this through the prism of your very specific and pressured needs because of the baby and other three children, and trying to prove it’s all possible but it’s really not compatible. Which is why single mums with 4 young children aren’t heads of production, but are more likely to be childminders if anything. I’m not trying to talk you out of your career, god knows we need good women in senior roles in tv, but I think you’ve done incredibly well to make this work with three and that four is just too much. I get it’s ’not that simple’ but this cannot be all your problem to take on. It’s too much to ask. Hope you find a way through without losing your career or your sense of your own priorities in amongst it all.

I wonder if they won’t offer you a demotion as it could be used against them in the future ( discrimination, constructive dismissal) could you apply for the lower level role?

OP you are marvellous for fostering but this level of commitment is not compatible with your life circumstances. You have no partner to help you and a FT job. As much as you want to help these children, you aren't really in a position to.

Not for being kinship foster carers.

Line Producer? Production Exec? Very full on jobs … never known one who wasn’t working ALL the hours and beyond - especially at the moment when budgets are crushed, teams are stretched and schedules are like playing Sudoku.

I really do try and support parents in telly and always enable drop off and pick up but it does mean people working in the evenings (commissioners not being fans of changing the delivery date and all that) but I really don’t know if I’d be able to make 2 or 3 days work. Have you contacted Pregnant Then Screwed? They may have some suggestions too.

Have you suddenly found yourself responsible for a child / children? Like a kinship care situation.

Oh OP, I feel for you.

I really mean this gently but I would be very careful about setting your career on fire to take on more children here. Particularly in your industry which is not in a great place. You’ve done amazingly to get to where you are, I wouldn’t give that up lightly.

Putting that aside, I’ve never seen a head of department type role on a 2 day week, the lowest I’ve seen on 4. Super hard to make work without creating problems for your boss 3 days a week.

Are you Head of Production or Head of Development? I mean, to be fair, both are very full on telly jobs and I’ve never know one of those roles in a 3 day week capacity, let alone 2 days. Head of Dev might be a slightly easier ask.

It’s really tough - telly is notorious for being less than accommodating to parents / women with children. Throw in the dire state of current affairs (no pun intended) and the lack of unionisation and yeah… well… ‘you’re fucked’ wouldn’t be out of place.

Just two days for either role would require some serious heavy lifting from your colleagues but I am surprised they won’t consider job-sharing. I’ve definitely employed people on this basis in editorial (especially edit producers). Have you contacted Share My Telly Job to see if they’ve some pointers on how to get the company to change their mind?

I think 2 days a week isn't enough for head of department. Your supposed to oversee everything, how can you do that properly if you are there less than half the time?

I think the more realistic thing would be offering you a different role in the company but that would depend on availability and may involve different pay depending on what they have.

Other than that your options are to look elsewhere.

But I sympathise with the position you are in, you are being torn in two different directions. Whoever told women they can have it all lied.

@Topoftheroof you are clearly a very compassionate person to take on kinship care of four children. Are you not receiving the foster care allowances for the children - you should be eligible in the same way as for unrelated fosterers and for 4 children should equate to a decent income?
But as far as your job is concerned - the entitlement is for you to ask, not for the employer to agree. If they have considered it, declined and can justify their decision on the basis of business needs that's not unreasonable even if you don't agree with it.
I totally see that you don't want to sacrifice your career because of your commitment to fostering. Realistically though it's hard to see how you're going to get everything you would ideally want in these circumstances as a single parent of children who may well have extra challenges in the future because of their difficult starts in life. But all kudos to you for what you're doing.

I have only one child and I went back to work 3 days a week when she was just six months old. It was very hard even with only one child - I was working completely sleep deprived and often feeling ill because of lack of sleep much of the time, and my job wasn't even a particularly difficult one, and I had a partner to help.

You can't expect to do a full time managerial role in 2 days a week, when you have 4 children at home (probably high needs developmentally-traumatised children at that, given they are in foster care) with one of them being a baby, and with no other support!

This isn't an employer problem, its a social problem. 3 days a week won't help you. You need to advocate for the children you do have and say no, this situation won't work with a 6 month old added to the mix.

Maybe your employer is completely unsympathetic because you are doing this to yourself by taking on a 4th(!) foster child as a single working woman rather than it being unfortunate circumstances like health

It is. You just say no, sorry, I am unable to foster a 4th child as I need to work full time to keep a roof over my head and support the 3 other foster children I have.

I can only understand it if it's kinship for nieces/nephews who are siblings. Any other scenario I don't think you should be doing it in complete detriment to your own wellbeing