To pay my boyfriend’s child’s school fees?

As other posters have mentioned. Your BF could get some part-time work to make up the shortfall, or decrease expenses in other places.

I just fear that it could set his other DC up to feel they should get some benefit also. Even if you try and keep it between you and your BF, it will come out at some point.

Could his DC3 get some help through the school towards paying the fees, since it sounds like private schools have helped others like this?

If they don't have money for the school fees, what would be next? Help with trips, uniforms, university?

That is a LOT of money for school fees for however many years. It would be worse for DC3 to have to move because you and your BF broke up.

I can feel bad for DC3 and your BF without thinking that you should pay for them.

I would have loved my child to go to a top university, but I couldn't afford it, so it was what it was. They managed and are not scarred and I would never have thought to ask people I knew with money to "help" or even hint at it.

You say he has part retired, so surely there is an option for him to work more to earn what is needed.

Or reduce his outgoings.

You might point out to your boyfriend that, if his DD has university in mind, she might find that university admissions have been known to look more kindly on students who acquired their A-levels at a state sixth-form college, when filling diversity quotas. This is a dodge not unknown to which they are becoming wise, which some parents do, despite being able to continue with school fees.
I doubt this will hold much sway, but as you know so little about the girl, who can tell?
It's not as if you have known her, and seen her progress through her education, and have some inkling of what her aspirations for adult life and career are.
Rather, I think you are helping to fund his early retirement, whilst ensuring that he "can't afford" to make a full CMS contribution.

Can't buy me love... 🎶

Honestly, paying into education isn’t that wild. But I do hear you all!

Yes, for your own kids or kids you're close to! Not the kids of a boyfriend of 1 year!

Your boyfriend must think he's landed on his feet! What else are you bankrolling him for?

I wouldn’t entertain offering the money. If BF and EXW don’t have to pay private school fees then that money could be set aside for enrichment activities outside of sixth form or saved for university, or both.

lol. What a crock.

I was privileged enough to be privately educated and think the benefits are considerable. If I was in your position and I could afford to pay it forward, so to speak, I would. You never know, this child might be a human rights barrister in 20 years - and you’ll have free legal advice on tap for the rest of your life.

People come out of retirement for all different types of reasons. Life happens. He needs to work full time and fund his child's own private education, not complain and put the guilt in motion on OP shoulders.

If he's partly retired, can't he go back to work full time to pay for his child's education? What about the child's mother, does she work full time or is she, too, partly retired?

If your BF is part retired, could he not go back to work for the two years of sixth form?

Man who can afford to live alone on a part time income can't fathom how to increase that income by £50 a week? Seriously?

As you have absolutely zero connection with this young person, you’d be most unwise to just shell out. Surely there are 4 Grandparents of young person who could help?

Absolutely!

You can guarantee that he won't be tightening his belt that much.

If money really was tight he'd be going back to work full-time.
And maybe I'm just a cynic but id bet he's parttime to spite his ex and dodge paying child maintenence.

Op don't be a mug. Hes just a tight miserable git, there's a reason hes divorced

Reminds me of the post the other day where the GF had stopped doing nice treats out with her BF and they were staying in to help his finances, rather than her bailing him out. Much more helpful and sensible.

If OP wants to help him, look at joint lifestyle changes so he can afford to live within his means. If he doesn't like that you know you're just the purse.

Not your problem to solve

What sort of physically demanding role pays enough to send 3 kids money to top private schools? He's unlikely to be any sort of tradesman.
The only other sort of physically demanding job i can think of would be a farmer who don't generally become semi-retired

I'll bet he's driving around in some sort of flash car. He'll not be in a 10yo fiesta. But whats even worse hes likely to want to keep up appearances, so will replace it at some point over the next two years.

I'd also bet he'll still be holidaying like he's always done.

There's a reason why he's in the middle of a divorce. Is he semi-retired to reduce his CSA payments?

Ops an absolute mug if she pays this, regardless of how many hints he's given.

I'm up for blaming the Chancellor for pretty much anything and everything; from the state of the economy to whether it's raining. But, the VAT on school fees has been mooted for some time, and your Boyfriend only works part-time which quite frankly is the bigger issue.

He had a plan to retire early. He's now using you to fund that, rather than accepting that the plan isn't viable and getting off his arse and going back to work.

Why do women, even for a second, consider things like this. Even if he's your husband, if he and his ex can't afford the fees its a non starter. Don't pay someone elses bills especially when they have chosen something they can't afford. This is just a boyfriend of a year planting the notion you could pay a large sum of money to service his family choices. Don't be such a fool! and reconsider the relationship while your at it. You might think this is your idea but its been presented in a way to pull the heartstrings to make you even consider this. Love and commitment can't be bought don't be a cash cow.

But the OP is not a bank. If her boyfriend wants a loan why not let him take one through the usual channels?

Another poster described her as ‘cock blind’.

Sounds like she’s desperate to please this part-retired man for some reason.

Yes. How many times on mn have people lent money to friends and relatives, because they’re broke, and then they’re seen squandering it on non essentials.

This exactly.
In the scheme of things (3 kids put through private school) £5k per parent is not a lot to find over 2 years.
Mr Semi-Retired could use some of his spare time to earn an extra £48 a week. That's 4h at NMW.