To pay my boyfriend’s child’s school fees?

Sorry you are nuts to consider this

why doesn’t your bf increase his hours back to cover the expense seeing how he is part retired? Can he get a loan? Can he or the wife release equity in a property can the wife get a loan

are bursary’s available?

if not then sorry the kid goes to 6th form collage and hates his parents forever

Absolutely not, sadly it isnt your responsibility !

Oh and I have a friend who ran her own business - bright lady - new bf convinced her to part with lots of cash and a car for various emotive reasons. He even married her! Finally he disappeared with her lovely posh car and she worked out from his emails he had a wife and kids in another country!! Sugar mamma! Beware!!

What an amazing gesture however, after only a year together and no real commitment I’d steer clear. Unless you would pay regardless of relationship status aka if he ended it next week would you still comfortably pay as a friend?

So he is just your boyfriend, you don’t even have a committed enough relationship to live together and don’t know or have met his kid.

If I was the boyfriend I’d not be asking this. He is using you for money if he expects or accepts you paying. Do not do it. How do you even know he is going to use it on fees? Even if that’s true it is absolutely not your job to do this and the £40 k could be invested for your own DC benefit and their children ( your grandchildren one day).

You have no idea if you have a future with this man but even if you do- he should not expect or even accept you paying like this as it’s taking advantage. I expect if you do this you will end up in lots more positions of a similar nature where your devastated’ bf uses the sympathy ploy and you go weak and offer to cough off.

Honestly - please see this for what it is. The 3 rd adv WILL survive a state 6 th form and your bf WILL get over its First world problem n all that!

I wouldnt. If she is foolish enough to part with her money. as the mother of said child I would take it for the sake of my child. if not beholden to a loan agreement.

One year into a relationship and throwing all caution and intelligence out the window.

Honestly, sometimes people are asking to be treated like fools.

I think you are very kind and thoughtful to even contemplate this.
My concern for you would be the expectation you would help top up university funding when they leave.
Where would it end?

I depends. If you got a guarantee from your bf and his ex and a repayment schedule with signatures and witnesses ok but what if you paid then he said it wasn't working out and he was going back to ex wife how would you feel then?
Also why havnt you met his children? Plus your children wouldn't know unless you tell them, it's your money to do with as you please.

They, the parents of his DC3, can apply for a Bursary, if the child has been there for years, they school should accept a Bursary application, or if he is extremely talented, they could be granted a scholarship. It's for the parents to work out, definitely not yours. Regardless of whether you have the means to help, they have other ways to get him into 6th form. Do not part with your well earned money.

Is there a reason you've never met them. Unless you want to then no way.

No. Your relationship it’s too short and you have no relationship with the kids. You are a fool if you do this.

No no no no and no

Wow

No no no no no.

Seriously ot even sure how you would consider this.

He must have seen you coming.

How would you feel once you've paid for the fees and he broke up with you?

Absolutely not.

I mean you can if you want to, but you’ll never see the money again, and I doubt you’d get any gratitude for it.

And plenty of kids are leaving private schools as the fees go up, so being “distraught” is a complete overreaction.

Finally, kids from private schools are often discriminated against for university places in favour of applicants from state schools, so he could easily benefit.

Why can’t his child get a bursary or grant then?

So why the big drama about having to go to state school for sixth form then if it has given your children better prospects than his?!

Entirely your choice but no would be the sensible decision: you've not been together very long, don't even live together. BTW, what follows the two years of sixth form is three years of university!! Sit this one out, it's a them problem.

It sounds like your partner needs to stop being semi retired and go back to work to pay school fees.

And you need to put this foolishness out of your head.

It's not a serious enough relationship to be doing that and tbh considering your own children did not go to a private school I think it's a betrayal of sorts. Surely your own children would appreciate that money to help them in whatever way they need than paying for someone else's education. I especially wouldn't justify it by saying education is a gift because that would also be saying it's a gift you denied your own children.
It comes across like you're trying to buy your boyfriend's love through gratitude.

Moving to a new sixth form will be character building and a step on the way to Uni (if they want to go). If the young person puts the work in, they’ll achieve well anywhere.

If I was your child and you had paid for your boyfriends children to go to private school and not me I’d be pretty pissed off

I would say, not your problem. I know it sounds harsh, and you must be very kind hearted, but do they not have any family to help him, like they helped for the other 2? You haven't even met the child. Very kind and thoughtful of you, but don't offer, and if they ask, say no.

A fool and their money are easily parted.

For £10k over two years, personally I think it would be an extraordinarily kind thing to do. For £20k if I've misread that, doubly so. Only you know if this is in any way a stretch for you and I admire the "pay it forward" mentality.

Is the child in question more worthy than another, I don't know. It could be argued you could make a donation to your old school to undoubtedly fund a child in a similar position. However, you have a sort of personal relationship with this child.

You lost me at part retired though assuming it's not for health reasons. For that reason if there is a timing gap I would offer it as a loan in writing while some extra work and income is generated if they are really truly devastated and only £10k off the best part of £35k. This can always be generated when a pension lump sum fully kicks in. Between two parents and two older siblings it's also not a huge sum of money to find when divided into 4.

You can always choose to waive it later but I would wonder how you would feel if part turns into fully retired and the child leaves school anyway through choice or not.