To pay my boyfriend’s child’s school fees?

My DDs fantastic state 6th form college had a large number of pupils who moved there after being privately educated to GCSE level. They were all absolutely fine with the move and are going to uni in the coming weeks. Your DP and his ex wife should save whatever money they have for their child's uni and send them to a state 6th form. Don't get involved.

Has he spoken to the school? Just in case they can’t come to an agreement or payment plan.
its very generous of you, if you can afford it and not bothered about repayment then its your call. If you go make sure you pay the school direct and not bf.

They aren't your responsibility @WhyWhyWhyDelulu

I reckon he saw you coming OP.

If he's desperate for them to stay on for 6th form he could take out a loan, sell his car and use public transport, get a second job, remortgage his house. So could his ex. Between them they could cover it.

You seem to be conflating sympathy with paying for his kids school fees. You have no idea whether people on this thread are sympathetic or not - you didn’t ask them that, you asked should you pay the fees. That’s a completely different question. You can be very sympathetic AND not pay the fees. I think this is where you are going wrong.

You need to read this thread about CF DH and paying for step children to go to private school - poster seemed like a lovely person whose partner and his ex partner treated like a bank
Link to AIBU to not fund ex-partner’s children?

What happens if you break up with your BF?
What happens if you meet the child and he’s horrible/ungrateful/lazy?
What happens when they ask you to cover uni fees.

Your BF and his ex wife need to cut their cloth, and to be honest I’d be concerned that this possibly had even been raised with you, given the short length of your relationship.

Would you be normally be prepared to hand over tens of thousands of pounds to a new friend who couldn’t manage their own finances?

Give the money to your own children.

Just no way. What everyone else has said. Plus, a lot of kids leave our local private schools for state sixth, and do very well. The child won’t be the only one to move.

Such a weird thread.

I think it would be a brilliant thing to do if you can afford it and it comes with no strings. Only you know if that is the case

Pricey way to play the ‘pick me!’ game!

If you have a spare £60k (or whatever sixth form costs) that you don’t want to give or save for your own DC or keep for yourself, it’d be much better to give it to charity!

Loads of DC move at sixth form for various reasons.

Keep your spare money for yourself or to help your own dc if they should need it in the future.
They need to sort it themselves.
And if he asks you then thats a really bad sign .

It would be extremely disruptive for the child if your relationship with your BF ends and neither parent can afford the fees. You've only been with him a year, it would be a hard no from me.

Well if your DC had great education and didn't go to private school why does your b/f' s youngest need to finish his education at private school? Surely the state system will give him equally good prospects as your DC

How will your kids feel if you pay for a child you’ve never met to attend private when they didn’t?

If you said gcse year id say nice if you can but for 6th form? Nah - half the private's round here don’t even have 6th form!

Absolutely a hard no. What the hell are you thinking?

It’s your money. I don’t see why this is a problem if you want to do it.

No way. That must be about £50k plus?!

For a kid you've literally never met. Your boyfriend should not be allowing you to even contemplate this type of financial commitment.

After you've not been together long. What if you split? Would you still pay? As obviously it's not the kid's fault.

It's a terrible idea. Spend the money on yourself or give it to your own kids.

How much money are we talking?
I wouldn't do it.
It would feel very unfair and disloyal to my own DCs.
Surely if you are happy to part with however much money this is, you should share it between your own DCs, not some short term BF's DC, who you have never even met.

This is a really bizarre post.

(Edited to correct spellings.)

You didn’t do this for your own dc but are thinking about doing it for sometime else’s? Did he see you coming?? Your dc will be very upset I would guess. Don’t be a mug.

DC often move for 6th form. Parents should have worked all this out. School might give them time to pay. They’ve messed this up, not you. Breaking up costs money. The local comp will be great!

Shame there’s no option for “You are being fucking batshit to even consider this”.

If you can genuinely spare the money, can put aside any and all thoughts of getting it back, can give it away with absolutely no strings attached regardless of whatever happens in future, then it's your money so it's up to you.

I'd be considering how quickly I could build my savings back up before I did so. And I'd also be considering how your children might feel if they ever found out.

Ultimately though, it's your money to do with as you wish.

Totally ridiculous. Save your money fir your own kids or grandchildren