To pay my boyfriend’s child’s school fees?

If the child is scared of starting a state six form then private education utterly failed them

Lots of children move from private school to go to a state sixth form school or college. It’s not like moving the child to a new school in years 7-11. It’s a shame the child has to move, but I think you would be crazy to pay for it, not your child, not your problem. You have children so if you have money to give away, give it to them!

Can you afford it so easily that you won’t notice you’ve done it? If so then I would. I’d also check in with my kids to make sure they were okay with it first.

its your money OP, it doesn’t matter what us lot think.

How much specifically are you planning to pay? How rich are you ? if you're mega rich and won't miss it then why not if you won't be upset about it if you break up. How would you feel if the kid flunks out or boyfriend starts asking for more and more money?

You do know these scammy, red flag stories that are rife, don't have to involve LDRs, undercover government employees or short term loans to release inheritance payments?

I’m surprised at the strength of feeling on this.
And how negative people are about helping out someone who is not related to you.

As you can afford it - without your own children missing out in any way - then I think it’s a lovely thing to do.

You are ‘paying it forward’ which is fair as it seems that you benefited from bursaries and help for your own education.

I suggest other posters (who disagree in principle) think of it like a charity donation.

The only caveat is beware of any indebtedness or obligation that your DP might feel. But if you wouldn’t resent it if your relationship did end soon, then go ahead.

I would not do this and if I was your boyfriend, I would not accept the money. It is a very nice idea but it could come across as a bit insecure and that you want to make him feel obligated to stay with you.

Really if you have this much money spare think about your own children: house deposits, weddings etc.
I am amazed that for 2 years he can’t get a loan. Maybe you could loan ( with a contract drawn up ) loan.

Do you even know the child actually exists? I don't think its a reasonable thing to do. If you do it ensure you are paying direct to the school. Call them, speak to them etc. Via your own research. Romance scams exist and put in the long work for money.

I have never heard this before, but I love it!

Apparently I’m in the minority here but if you can genuinely afford this without it affecting you (and it’s beyond my own tiny little imagination to have this sort of money but some people do) then yeah I’d do it but I’d pay the school directly.

Came to say this.

Also how badly would you feel about the money if things ended with the BF. Or the relationship ended badly. Or the DC didn’t use it well or was unkind to you. Would the BF also resent you for the large financial favour he owes you?

So the amount you are considering is only the VAT?

What happens if you break up?

It's quite normal to move elsewhere for 6th form

If you can afford to with out it affecting your lifestyle, future choices etc then I can see why you would offer to help with the shortfall in terms of a loan.
If I had a close friend or relative in the same boat I would offer to help if I had surplus cash, I would expect for it to be paid back at a very low interest rate and I would never lend more than I could afford to lose.
I certainly wouldn’t gift it, because sixth form is not school… we are not talking about a child in his final year of secondary school. Lots of people leave private school at sixth form stage.

You sound like a kind person OP.

You mentioned receiving £ support for your own education and wanting to pay that forward. How would you feel if you split from your bf though? Would it make you regret your decision? I think there’s a big difference to aunts/uncles and grandparents chipping in because they’ll always be family. Sadly relationships don’t always last, and it is such a lot of money.

My DC are through school and did not go to private school at all.

I’m sure they will be thrilled if you pay for someone else’s child.

And what about all the extras that pop up? Like the ski trip ……..

Eh?

@InMyShowgirlEra why, if you don't mind me asking? Do you feel that they were too sheltered in the private 6th form?

If BF and ex-wife feel strongly enough about him finishing at the school, can’t one or both of them take out a mortgage against the equity in their property ? This is not your problem.

Nooooooo.

You are dating this man. You would be crazy to spend £50-£60k+ on educating a child that you’ve never met.

They can go to a state sixth form, it won’t kill them.

It is frankly quite odd that “various people” paid for your education and not the norm at all.

What happens if, in term 1, you split up with your BF - do you continue paying each term? Or pull them out of sixth form mid-A Levels?

What happens when they can’t afford university? Do you pay for that too?

If this was your step child and you were married it would be worth considering, but for someone you’ve been dating for a matter of months? Definitely not.