Teacher here... did I fuck up?

And why isn't your school policy 'No phones' anyway?

There’s nothing wrong with your rules. It could be about number 3. They should back you up anyway.

I'm pretty sure @Hercisback1 is a teacher.

As am I and I agree. If you go in to a new class, you need to start from a baseline of assumed mutual respect - not start with the assumption that they're going to disrespect you. Kids resent that, and rightly so.

I think the list of rules, rule 2 especially, are your well needed armour. (Are you at an inner city school?) If the principal doesn't back you up then they are the problem.

Sensible rules

Id be tempted to add - dont be a dick
But then you would get fired

I don't understand why you said for them to speak to the head about your rules? If they don't know about them and may not back you up.

You said to speak to them and they have done. All are fine except the wording could be less aggressive. And no mention of male teachers. Just 'we treat eachother with mutual respect in this class' is fine.

@ForSillyGreySwan this. I'm surprised as a young teacher that your training apparently didn't promote positive behaviour management and presenting things from an expectation that pupils will behave well in the first instance.
E.g. 'Rules' - immediately alienating.

Would you please:

1. Show respect for everyone in the class and for what you are being asked to do
2. Let whoever is speaking or explaining finish without interrupting
3. Hand in phones at the start of the lesson

Says the same but much less likely to aggravate. I suspect your principal may want to address your behaviour management approach and hopefully offer some support/mentoring.

1. Phones to be handed in at the start
2. We treat each other with respect
3. Instructions are to be followed carefully (covers no. 4)
4. Hands up if you have questions about the task

I definitely would have worded #2 differently.

Yep, it’s not about being lenient, it’s about establishing boundaries respectfully.

There's a way to express things. If a teacher doesn't communicate in a respectful, nuanced manner with students they can hardly expect respect and nuance in return -- and I say that as a teacher.

Making assumptions about behaviour and attitudes based on someone being a student is just as much prejudice as making assumptions about someone's behaviour and attitudes because they are of a particular nationality or religion.

Some students are difficult; some adults are difficult. Not all Treating a group like you expect the worst of it is a terrific way to get your expectations fulfilled.

You’re not a teacher then?

Why? What's wrong with blunt?

I am surprised. Most kids would listen and it would either go in one ear and out the other or they would just forget about the conversation after class anyway.

It’s weird the kid went to the principal instead of getting on with their day and socialising with their mates. If it was my child I would be telling them to get a grip.

I think you invited that by telling them to see the Principal - I'd guess without talking to him about it.

It meant that if one of them had a reasonable issue (eg diabetes measured on phone) you told them you weren't willing to discuss it.

I'll bet that if you'd said, "I'll be in my room next break if you want to discuss it", there would have been no come back.

As a pretty well behaved kid with well behaved friends, if we'd felt the teacher was being unfair, we would have gone to the Principal with a well thought through discussion, because that's what you told us to do.

I'd agree with the way of phrasing them positively. I suspect it's the phrasing that has got their backs up - it sounds like you've caught them and are telling them off, rather than trying to lay down expectations.

Rather than calling them 'rules' refer to them as expectations. If this is how you worded it, it's very blunt and confrontational. I'm a secondary teacher and at the start of the school year I go through my expectations with them. And I always tell them what they can expect of me. Rather than 'dont talk over me. Listen to my instructions', I say 'please be courteous and respectful to me and each other and I will do the same'. Then I tell them what that means...please listen when I am talking, please raise your hand if you have a questions, please allow your classmates to be heard, this is a safe learning space where you can ask questions etc.

Honestly? You sound terrified before you've even started. What your rules are saying is "I know you lot are going to be a problem and I'm going to stamp it out before it even starts." Of course you could reiterate school wide rules, but if you are introducing your own on day one it looks like you're anticipating problems. Very passive aggressive words.

Am I right in assuming this is a secondary school? Or late juniors.
I agree, you need to be so firm at the beginning and set your standards from day 1 because otherwise you’re on the back foot straight away (and I’ve only worked in infant/junior).
I’d guess that they’ve taken you at your word and don’t want to hand their phone in maybe.
I hope you’re being supported by your head.

If you do have issues keep in mind that each of these points is about safety. Their safety.

If you dont listen to instructions you are not safe to do the activity.
If you think you can use your phone during a lesson you are not paying attention. See above.
If you display behaviour sexist or otherwise that means you think you know better than the instructor (especially if this is a sexist reaction) then ..well... You're here to be educated. You will not be behaving safely for yourself or other people in the class and that is not acceptable nor is it legal for me to teach risk activities with students who cannot keep themselves and others safe.

You cant ask to be treated with the same respect as a male teacher in one breathe and then refer them to the principle if they want to have a discussion in the next 🤣

You just need to work on a more positive delivery.

I'm not surprised somebody went to the principle with this if only for the heck of it.

The principal most likely did back her up to the student, but perhaps wants to clarify a few things with OP. She might not be in trouble, he might want to know what incident led to her writing rule #2 for example.

I’d assume it’s 3!

I once told a year 8 is was innapropriate to say allahu Akbar in class. He knew what he was saying. He reported me and said I had called him a terrorist. I said nothing of the sort! Kids exaggerate and lie. The child may have misrepresented what you said

You don't need to assume they'll be a twat to a female though.

I'm all for setting boundaries, should be done school wide.

What has the head/principal said about the meeting?