Teacher here... did I fuck up?

Eh?

I'm guessing it was all about the delivery. You are striking a pretty defensive, verging on aggressive tone here. Not surprised you got their backs up really.

Experienced teacher here - if a student came to me and said, “Ms X has accused us all of being sexist” (which is probably how they phrased it to the Head), I would definitely want to find out exactly what prompted it. If this had gone to the head then he would want to check in with you to make sure we haven’t missed any specific incidences of sexist behaviour from your students that should have been addressed. Maybe your principal really wants to make sure there isn’t a wider issue here that he needs to be clamping down on. It might not be a disciplinary conversation, but a wellbeing check.

Teacher here
the only way you messed up was telling the class they had the option you could speak to the head ….honestly that’s just a green light for kids to go and do it and cause problems.
there is literally nothing wrong with your rules and the kids will know this

In your meeting with the Head, just explain that you will uphold the expectations and code of behaviour decided by the Leadership and the Governors and communicated to parents. You didn't mean to have your own code which you then told students to refer to the Principal if they had a problem.
Perhaps just observe an experienced member of staff and their classroom management. Take it from there. What are your targets for observation?

Honestly as a teacher I find your rules quite negative. They are absolutely what you would expect children to do but its how you frame it.
I always set it out as class charter, co create rules in a positive, rights respecting environment. This allows you to then weave in conversations about respect, listening, safe behaviours and make it more about your expectations rather than a list of orders.
Is the phone rule a school policy or are you creating a rule about this?

How have you managed to name change mid thread, I didn’t think you could do that anymore?

I think your rules would be better telling them what they should be doing rather than what they shouldn’t.

This is interesting:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c80gvm3vxr1o

school wide rule. nope. i dont get into arguments with students, its a waste of class time and unfair on other kids. they're here to learn not watch naughty kids try to antagonise teachers

Sounds very authoritarian.
is the phone rule a whole school rule?
I think students should be able to politely question/ challenge instructions.

if i asked you your name does that also mean im accusing you of never having told anyone your name? not very bright comment

Behaviour management is a lot about psychology. If you assume they will be badly behaved, they have nothing to lose by being badly behaved. You also put a lot of ideas in their head. You have told them that previous classes have disrespected you and you have implied that they are sexist.That will really annoy them which is probably why they took up your suggestion of going to the headteacher.

U r due in for a meeting tomorrow

if it gets to heavy, just ask for your union rep to be present.

you can’t be seen now to back down, you said your inner most feelings, now it’s out there. Live it.

dont be scared, plenty of cover etching work that will find your attitude refreshing

You didn’t fuck up. I think you’re reading too much into it, I’m sure it’s just a case of the kid speaking to the Head, and the Head then following the logical next step in speaking to you to just clarify the situation. Try not to worry

Experienced teacher here. By listing your ‘rules’ on first meeting you are inviting the students to challenge them and see how far they can push you. Who advised you to do this? You’ve put yourself in a difficult position virtually accusing them of unreasonable behaviour before they’ve done anything wrong.
Another time if you want to set classroom rules, you could ask the students to work in groups to come up with their own rules, discuss them as a class, vote on them and pick the top five then make decorative posters for the classroom. If they agree the rules themselves they are more likely to keep them. You can give pointers (eg phone rules). This is less likely to get their backs up. Your attitude seems a bit defensive and might give the impression you are expecting them to behave badly. Having said that, your principal will hopefully understand your concerns and will back you up.

Exactly this ⬆️

As a teacher for many years, I think it was unfortunate to tell them to treat you with the same respect as a male teacher. I know some utterly awful male teachers, equally some great with classroom management female teachers.

Having said that, take a notepad with you and make notes of what the principal says, repeat anything you’re unsure of or anything that makes you go ‘what?!’ I’d repeat back what he says so there’s no confusion. Tell him exactly what you said, don’t try to change any meanings.

Going forward, establish your own routines, observe as much as you can (known strong teachers) and be consistent with following the school’s discipline policy.

The Principal will remind you that there are school rules and behaviour policies that are agreed by leaders and staff and ratified by the trustees/governors.

Are your rules the same as these? If not you are going against agreed school policy which leads to inconsistency and confusion.

You can't just ‘go it alone’.

That's exactly why this approach went out about 25 years ago!

I think maybe when you said

"I said 'if you have an issue with any of these rules, feel free to discuss them with the principal'."

You meant it as a threat.

I think that maybe when you were putting out such a lot of negativity, they decided that the principle was a safer person to talk to.

I think maybe you need to paint a picture of what a good class looks like and tell them that you believe in their ability to do that.

Having said that, I'm home schooling and it's hard. I get it totally. Teaching is very difficult to do gracefully.

Personally I find no 2 an odd one and think it would be better as 'i will be treated with respect' and make clear what the repercussions are for disrespectful comments or behaviours, sexist or otherwise. Being a former smart Alec myself I would have seen that as an open door since I probably would have been an arsehole to male teachers too

I am a teacher too, this is fine. Nothing to worry about. But so you know teaching is toxic they will find something.

I don't understand the system with phones. Do they hand them in to each teacher at the beginning of every lesson?
Crazy system.

How frustrating for you . My DD is in a class with a new young female teacher , and in the first lesson the (ks4) boys were whistling and making inappropriate comments about and to her. I really wish it wasn’t necessary to be explicit re respecting female teachers in the same way, but this seems to be a real thing in schools.

Why on earth did you start like this? That's absolutely not the strategy that you learned during training.
You don't have rules. The school has a behaviour code which you uphold. This is supported by the pastoral system and the SLT.
I'm guessing you're not in the UK and not in a state school?

You are too aggressive op, way too much. The language you are using in your post is not reflecting well either. You can’t hammer them into respecting you.