Why the dislike for larger families?

I have 6! Ranging from 26 to 3 years old and I raised every one of my children without help from a single family member. I have been a single parent since my last pregnancy.
My children are all well mannered and career focused (the older ones) It can be done and im sick of whiners about family helping with 1 child! 🙄

I’m one of 5 and I don’t really recognise the stories of no 1-1 with mum ever, or no privacy. I mean, it was the 80s so the concept of “ parenting” hadn’t really been invented yet, but I definitely had 1-1 time, and the oldest was never expected to be an extra parent.
We didn’t have much money but did go on holiday once a year and my best memories are holidays/ Xmas when it was a lot of fun.
There was always someone to hang out with and talk to. We still all get on as adults for the most part.
Both parents worked, although my mum often worked part time. We were very self reliant, and by today’s standards, yes, not a lot of structured activities but if someone was really into a thing ( a musical instrument for example) it would be found ( often second hand, my mum was a magpie and brilliant and finding bargains)
Honestly, I don’t know where they found the energy!

Except she would be accused of parentifying her teen if she expected them look care for four younger siblings.

OP are you American? I only ask because of a couple of spelling differences. If you are, then I believe that larger families are more common in the US. In the UK, particularly with SAHM's, there is often stigma about claiming benefits for "children you can't afford". On the other hand, birthrates are falling overall, everywhere, are they not?

It’s also very unfair when the eldest ones are expected to regularly help parent the younger kids because the parents can’t cope or to be mature beyond their years simply because they’re the eldest.

Surely people tend to judge more based on whether someone has more children than you can either afford, cope with and care for properly? I think most people don’t really care whether you have one or five, but whether you have the capability to meet all their needs without taking a victim approach of ‘why isn’t someone doing a, b or c to support MY kids that I chose to conceive?’.

Is it that mum who has five boys with a big gap between the eldest and the youngest? She’s on her own, doesn’t seem to understand how the world works and has various problems with each of her sons. The fathers are also useless. Yes I do wonder why she continually had children despite clearly struggling so much with life skills in general. I feel more sympathy for her children. She clearly has needs herself and seems to have no support. It’s a very sad situation.

This ^^ hits the nail on the head. I wouldn't have liked lots of children because I hate chaos and drudgery, but if other people want large families it is up to them.

Because some of us were children in those larger families and it was shit. But hey, she had a new dolly for a couple of years until it developed a mind of its own and then she remembered how much she despised children, the latest just being added to the heap of damaged individuals (along with the multiple animals that were all cute until they weren't).

Oh I don’t know- maybe they are one of “The Gang” or “The Crew” or whatever cutsie mass noun term you used for those children and thought for themselves “it is not so great”.

I’m one of six, all successful kids. I never had a one on one conversation with my mother because six kids is too many, and she was too busy keep everything spinning to have the time to get to know me as a person.

I don’t know anyone that is the child of a large family who thinks they got enough attention.

So to answer your question- the hostility comes from adults who’ve experienced what you’ve decided is best for your kids - and just disagree.

That was pretty much my experience as the eldest of five, but add in my parents just not having the money or emotional ability to parent five adequately, grinding poverty and overcrowdedness. It was less that I never had my parents to myself than that my role as the eldest was to ‘be fine’ and get on with things. They jist didn’t have the bandwidth for anything else.

People should have as many children as they themselves can manage.

If you can only manage two, stick at two. If you can manage five, have five.

But when you have a large family and then complain it’s hard work, and start putting upon friends and family for help, babysitting, running errands - that’s not on. You chose to have them, no one else. You made your bed, so you lie in it.

In general, it’s because people consider it irresponsible. In spite of all the worries about birth rates, the world’s population has exploded over the last century. In 1900 there were a billion humans. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. It’s now eight billion and we’re going to hit ten billion just as climate change is causing chaos. Africa’s birth rate is so high the African population is going to double. When you think about mass extinctions and declining fish stocks and that kind of thing, having five kids does seem a bit much.

Because not many families wit five children are able to have so many without being subsidized by other people who are paying for the privilege for others to have these large families.

Because that particular poster just churned out babies, contributed zilch to society and expected other people to 'help her' with them. I have no time people like her.

On the other hand I know a couple who have 4 children who both work FT, all 4 children are lovely, polite, and are doing well at school and are a huge credit to them. No problem at all with them.

I think if people can have as many children as they like but if they expect help then that's a different matter.

Youre missing the point. She had to because her 16 year old can nit be trusted with the younger ones.

”She then took her youngest four out in the rain.”l

Good gods, how shocking. Call social services. They might dissolve!

I don’t think there’s any inherent dislike for larger families, the issue just comes when the parents (somewhat predictably) can’t cope and think they are entitled to additional help.
Nowadays you only have a large family if you consciously want one. It’s wildly irresponsible to keep growing your family and then be surprised when you’re overwhelmed.

I know a family with 7 children who are always moaning about the council not getting them a bigger property (obviously the people to blame are the foreigners) but realistically, why do you keep popping out children? Just stop. It really shouldn’t be anyone’s obligation to keep upgrading you to a bigger property.

I think most people with multiple children are either wealthy and can afford it, or else don’t care because the tax payer picks up the tab.

Your entire post is about providing a roof and food. That is the basics. Less than that and you're having them removed.

I don’t see any dislike of large families. I see dislike of lazy parenting, which is what that thread was. Why had she run out of nappies, when she must have seen she was running low and could have stocked up before she actually ran out? Why was she expecting her MIL to drop everything and come and help her - it wasn’t even pre-arranged assistance, which many grandparents would be happy to do, it was a request to come and help right then? That sort of person could probably have only two kids, not five, and still wouldn’t be managing any better.

Overall I’d say it’s no one’s business how many kids anyone else has, as long as they can provide for them and aren’t dependent on welfare. But the one thing to consider is grandparents - if you’d like help from them, just know that many elderly people won’t feel comfortable looking after too many children at one time.

Probably 😈👹👿