Teacher not saying hello

I know there are not children who require extra care and i know my son is the only one crying at drop off.

Im not sure how you can know this OP, especially the comment about no child requiring extra care. With such a new class, even the teacher and TA surely won’t know this yet.

My DS1 has multiple disabilities but most of them are hidden. He started school with an extensive SEN support package. In the second week of term another parent demanded to know why my son had lots of support when another child in the class (not her own) was shorter. 😶

OP I hope your son settles in soon. It’ll be a big change for most, if not every child in the class.

🤣

Your child is being individually taken off by the teaching assistant. That means the other 29 children in the class are not getting individual support from them.

This is the extra help they said they would give you. Extra support (as you must surely know if you've had a 10 year history with the school) is usually provided by TAs.

Honestly, I think whatever teachers do, for some people it's always the wrong thing.

Sorry are you saying the reason your DS is crying each day is because the teacher hasn’t personally greeted him?

But you're only seeing a very small fragment of the day. It's unfair to assume that the rest of the day is going to be more of the same. It's fairly chaotic when the children arrive in the morning, so the aim is to get everyone in and settled down, isn't it? I'm sure the both the teacher and the TA will be devoting some time during the day to build a rapport with your child, as they will with all the children. Many children settle quickly when the parent dropping them off has gone, so it's best if mum or dad can be calm and unruffled with the child and see them off in a positive manner.

My child was also a late August birthday, there were quite a few in his class who were the same (and one friend shared his birthday). Mine also had autism so was developmentally much younger, it was quite a challenging time. They will all settle down soon as the new regime becomes part of their routine.

So that’s the first hour of the day spent having a 2 minutes check in with each child in the class! Do you understand how unreasonable and unrealistic you are being??

There will be multiple other kids in the class who are summer born children and therefore only just 4, there will be multiple other children who are winter born but also struggling with starting school. It is not at all feasible for the teacher to one on one time with each of these children every morning. The TA is there to assist, she is taking your child and supporting him, it doesn’t need to be the main teacher.

If she spends two minutes one on one with every child to build a relationship that's simply not practicable. Your child shouldn't be getting special relationship building treatment.

Perhaps the teacher could throw rose petals at his feet. What utter nonsense. Who’d want to go into teaching when there’s crap like this to deal with.

I got it from your post at 15:18. Did you mean 5 minutes in total? I am sure the teacher does that, the OP wanted two minutes with just her child.

How do you know that she doesn't greet them all just before calling the register?

In a reception classroom the TAs are as important if not more so than the teacher. She's supporting him and ensuring he is having a positive transition into the classroom. Are you really saying that the teacher should be doing this instead and leave all the other children for the TA to welcome into the classroom?

My boy is August born too, I get that its emotional, especially when they find the separation hard.

But I agree with the other posters OP that the teacher doesn't have time to say hello to everyone individually. It's great that the TA is taking him in - it sounds like he is getting quite a personal touch in that sense? If they all cried, they couldn't all be taken in personally.

In your shoes, I wouldn't be complaining to the school. If he carries on finding drop off very difficult, I would ask for a 10-15 min chat with the teacher to come up with ideas to help him. I wouldn't expect her to discuss this at drop off or pick up - it's too manic!

I am aware of that but TAs are there to support teachers. The teacher should also greet the child, they’re are just passing the buck.

I sympathise, having had to withdraw my child from a primary school where she was ignored by the teacher, who once made a telling comment "the August ones are so young, it's difficult to teach them". Without action she might have got used to a school life of looking out of the window, as I did for many years... Trust your instinct, though give it a little longer.

Did you miss the part where he's having 1-1 pastoral care form the TA?

The teacher will say good morning during the register but until then he's getting support from the other adult in the classroom.

Five minutes? Where did you get that from?
it takes seconds to smile, greet a child and make them feel welcome, it’s part of pastoral care.

If you’ve had kids in the education system for the past 10 years then you’d know that some years the TA is more on the ball than the class teacher. An experienced TA is much cheaper than an inexperienced teacher so it’s a popular way to control school budgets.

One of mine went at that age and was absolutely fine.

Mine started at 4, but they were absolutely ready.
I don't recall if the teacher greeted them individually or not. They did ok, anyway, and got into uni!

The thing is OP, as others have said, the issue in the morning is to get everyone through the door and start the day. If the teacher is standing at the door as everyone comes in, they can’t stop and comfort every child who looks as though they are having a wobbly, or chat to every parent who wants a quick word. They are probably also busy visually matching new parents to the new children, and making sure no one already in the room does a runner.

The quickest way for children to settle is to know the routines of the morning, we come into class, we put our book bags in the box, we hang up our coats and sit on the carpet/ choose a table activity/ read a book. Yes, some children will need more support to navigate this - and hands up, my DD was one, she squished onto the teachers chair and held her register pens for about three weeks - but that support happened when she got inside the classroom , not at the door.

By all means talk to the teacher, but I think you will find that they are well aware of your child’s needs. I doubt if any of his anxieties about starting school will be sorted simply by the teacher saying hello at the door. I doubt he has mentioned it, or even noticed. Though I expect your anxieties would be sorted by the teacher saying hello, but it’s not you who needs the support, or is it!

This. I'm sure she greets the class in a positive and timely way.

It might be worth thinking very hard about your decision to send your child at just 4. In my view that is far too young for any child.

I think children learn that far more quickly than many parents. I wonder how often children are made anxious or upset because of their parent's attitude?

You’re right, he is too young to start school so you should have deferred him really.