Teacher not saying hello

I have just read the thread. It is possible to get the point across without being mean and mocking. There is a stressed and worried mum posting this. Yes, she might need a reality check and advice not to complain. Why the need to be so unpleasant and nasty and make comments about ‘little prince’ etc. It’s just so predictable and unnecessary.

I sort of agree with you OP - especially for a child coming in from nursery. They are quite overblown with the greetings for small children so maybe your son is expecting the same enthusiasm and doesn't understand why it isn't coming. Unless teacher is greeting everyone but him, I would just have a gentle word that the teacher is very busy in the morning but the TA is the one to go to greet.

You know the health status of all children, that none have any potential SEND, that none are Looked After or adopted from care, that none have safeguarding concerns, that none have experienced any adverse childhood experiences at all, that all of them are in secure accommodation with zero financial, health or social pressures and all the health/SEND of all of their siblings, half siblings, parents and other significant family members?

How exactly are you achieving that level of knowledge?

OP it would be nice if the teacher gave him a warm look and a smile when she saw him, especially if he looks distressed. That would cost nothing in time and effort. But I wouldn’t complain as the teacher will judge you. I get it though, and I hope he settles soon as it is hard to see your children looking sad. At least there is an empathic and kind TA.

And you absolutely cannot know that there is no sen in that class unless you are the parent of all 30 of them. Encourage him to go in with the TA, (who can't be taking them all in 1:1 so it sounds like they, as a team, do have a good plan specifically for your child) and maybe he can take in a book to give to the teacher for story time or something to show them like a picture, if you think he needs a prompt to help him. I had a very shy wee boy whose parents gave him his under the sea book and I made a big show of looking at it with him in the classroom (and encouraging others over to look with us). He was delighted to know I liked the sea too and throughout the year loved coming to school to tell me shark facts. The register in class went, "Good morning X " "morning miss gofaster and also did you know basking sharks look scary but they actually only eat plankton"

just chatting to eachother!
They might be sorting out something important.

We all know she just means with her special little prince… 🙄

How is she 'greeting' if she's not saying hello? Maybe she's focused on something else like making sure they are all coming in, counting, remembering names etc. It seems to me that you are projecting your feelings onto your child. I'm sure he wouldn't notice if you didn't make a big thing of it.

OP, I will say I bristle slightly when I notice my child walk in with no greeting from any of the adults on the gate (it is rare to be TBF, but I had considered mentioning something) especially when she was in reception last year and particularly if they're just chatting to eachother!

I think though in an ideal world yes it would be nice if their class teacher said hello and unless they're talking to another parent/child to me there isn't really a reason not too, but that being said I'd probably be happy with a good morning from the TA, enough to not email the school if you're happy with everything else. It is so hard letting go of them and of course your little one is still so young

I would say that the opposite is more common. Teacher cracks on with the majority of the class whilst TA deals with the awkward ones. Not set in stone though. Teacher and TA will divvy it up however they see fit.

Stop with all the lol stuff. This isn’t facebook.

If your son is walking past his teacher, in his first week of school (or any tbh) and she’s blanking him, then that’s rude and I would say something.

Surely part of school is also learning kindness and social etiquette?

I don't know what you can do but I understand why you're upset. I have kids in reception and year 2 and the teachers are always at the door every morning and say hello to every child. Any children that are upset or struggling to go in wait until everyone else goes in and is being settled by the TA while the teacher helps the upset kids get in. Is this not normal 🤷‍♀️

@CaptainMyCaptain , it sounds as if you're absolutely on it. Thanks for all your hard work, I genuinely couldn't do your job! 🌷

The classroom is much less stressful for the kids once all the parents have gone too and it’s just their classmates, teacher and TA. Everyone else’s parents just take up all the space and are unknown grownup strangers to the kids.

I was a Reception teacher and if there was a child upset on coming in the TA usually used to settle them, she was very good at it. I took the other 29 children and got them settled then I would say Hello individually as I did the Register. If the teacher is standing at the door in the morning she is probably looking out for someone she needs a particular word with and hasn't got time to get sidetracked but I used to try and get to the carpet area as quickly as possible to start the day on a good note. You don't necessarily see all this going on as you drop your child off.

Oh my god, then having to give up time to speak to the parent and placate and explain. It must be very frustrating.

This. I can imagine another mother complaining, 'the teacher makes a special show of my child every morning, as if she's emphasising how babyish he is'.

Every single child in my class got a personal hello. In the classroom. Not in the playground or at the door.

And by changing practice I mean that the teacher might loudly greet your child to appease you while you’re passing him to the teaching assistant. The teacher can’t do 5-10 minute comforting job because they need to take the lead greeting the other 29 kids and starting the routine for the day.

OP I would also be concerned if the reception teacher was standing by not looking or saying anything to a pupil in a lot of distress at handover during the first week. Making all the new school starters feel safe and welcomed and comfortable is a key part of their job, in fact that’s really all the reception reachers are typically doing during the first weeks. Have you not had a settling in period?

However I would echo previous posters that what you see on the door does not reflect what is likely happening inside. She will be comforting upset pupils otherwise she wouldn’t be able to manage the class.

I wouldn’t email. I would just arrange to have a quick chat with the teacher after school next week. There’s nothing at all wrong with asking for that, it’s standard and part of their job to talk to parents every now and again.

Every teacher and TA who works in Reception/Foundation/Early Years has a lot of experience. They see upset children at the start of term, every single year, it's not uncommon, regardless if a child is a September or August born baby. The teacher/TA need to get all the children into class, at that point any child who is upset will be comforted and spoken too, once in the classroom. As long as the teacher/TA is smiling, that's all that matters. There's no need to greet every single child personally. Like I stated an upset child will be comforted once inside. I completely understand that you are anxious because your son is one of the younger children. However, have some trust and faith in the teacher/TA, who do this every year, and have ways of supporting a child who is upset. There are many many children born in August (my niece is one, 26th August) that start school up and down the country, and they manage very well. For some children it may take some time to settle, again that's not exclusive to summer born babies but they do eventually. Keep calm yourself, give your son reassurance but don't fuss 'You'll have lots of fun, and in a really short time, I will pick you up'. If you come across anxious, your son will pick up on it, and he will become worse.

This thread is an illustration of how people don’t get that although their child is special to them, they are one of 30 kids in a classroom - sometimes more.
Yours won’t be the only August birthday. Some kids will have SEN, some will not having any English, some might be experiencing the effects of trauma, some might have serious health complications.
You don’t know what the teacher is like in class. She may very well have been distracted when your son arrived becausing of a more pressing issue than greeting him personally. Cut the teacher some slack please.

I thought netmums was a supportive group I just feel even more like crap lol

Netmums might be better (or not) so try posting over there instead of here. Lol.

The TA welcoming your child is fine, it's part of their job description. Surely your child doesn't require the teacher, the TA and your attention just to enter a doorway into school.

Is there any point in the teacher making a big deal of greeting your son when he’s crying and too overwrought to notice? Having the TA handle the transition from being with you to being in the classroom means your son is getting consistant attention and comfort from the same classroom staff member each morning. The teacher can’t fill the same roll because they need to quickly greet the other 29 kids and their parents. There will be other moments in the day where the teacher will be able to focus on your child individually.
If you complain about this, the teacher might change their practice, but it would be for your benefit and not your child’s. Give it time and see how things change once your kid gets more used to school and drop offs are less fraught.