Teacher not saying hello

Ok. Perhaps you should have added that caveat. It did seem like you were being critical of everyone posting.

When my Reception class started on Monday I must have appeared a terrible teacher for not individually greeting some of the children while I was busy peeling other children off of their grown ups and desperately trying to block the door from another child trying to escape. Some children snuck in without me even noticing them to begin with (personally, my TA was in the cloakroom greeting everyone so will have greeted on my behalf).

It's an incredibly stressful time of year for teachers/TAs as well as children/parents. Yes, in an ideal world I great everyone with a breezy smile. The first few weeks in Reception isn't 'an ideal world'. I would be mortified if a parent criticised me on Mumsnet for not saying hello at the door to their child, who is safe with the TA, while I'm being hit by another child who is experiencing their own stressful separation from mum. Things settle down and I'll hopefully get back to my cheery "good morning" to everyone soon. For now, unfortunately, the "good morning" has to wait for some until we're all safely in the door and things are a bit calmer.

I don’t understand. Is the teacher there or is it the teaching assistant greeting him? You say the TA takes him off you so is it the TA or the teacher? If you want the TA and the teacher to be present who is greeting the other children?

it will be a massive change for you both. I completely understand and it’s very upsetting to see your child upset.

Could he go a little earlier like 5 min to be at the front of the queue so less time for anxiety to build up waiting?

this will get better

She’ll be wanting the red carpet rolled out next!

@KatyaKanani I think it's obvious I'm not referring to posters who helpfully and kindly responded with their expertise.

Surely you understand that the teacher can't spend an hour saying hello for teo minutes to each member of the class?! That's just not how the school day works, I'm afraid. The teacher and TA will be interacting with the children all day.

My son is also one of the youngest and tiniest in his class. When he was in reception last year we were concerned but he settled very well as his class teacher was absolutely amazing. She would stand at the door and welcome each child wishing them Good morning as they came in. Made a world of difference. So I get what you are saying. Though I am not sure I would complain if my son was getting attention from the TA as atleast he was being taken care of. Try not to worry too much. He will settle down soon.

Does he say Hello to the teacher ? If not, tell him to.

At Gdcs’ school the class teacher is always there at the door to say hello to each child as they arrive. TBH I’d have thought this was pretty normal.

I think the teacher should be smiling and greeting EVERYONE with a hello.

I'm a bit confused by the responses, OP. As a teacher of slightly older children I still greet them each morning and especially at this time of year, I check in with the ones having a bit of a wobbly start. Even just a quick "How was football club last night?" helps them to know you're interested in them and you start to build a rapport.
I'm not sure how an email would be received though. Could you perhaps ask for a quick meeting to discuss your concerns face to face or even a phonecall. I find that tends to go better than trying to read each other's tone via email.

This.

I understand you are anxious, but I’m afraid YABU. It sounds like the teacher and the TA split the "welcoming" between them - one of them focuses on your son and the other has to focus on all the other children in the class! So he is already getting a good deal.

Just because he happens to be the youngest, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is the most in need of support. If you keep banging on about him being the youngest you will look daft - I’m sure there are other children only a few weeks older than him.

How do you know what happens when you’ve left? For all you know, she spends some 1:1 time with him at another point in the day. But if the first greeting is so important to you, how about you leading your DS up to the teacher and saying brightly "Let’s say good morning to Miss Jones!" Or if you really think it would make a difference to him (to him, not you), just explain that to the TA and ask if she can take him to go and say hello to the teacher.

Many children struggle with getting into school in the morning, and a cheery ‘hello’ doesn’t usually help. Often the best thing is just to get them in with as little fuss as possible, because once the transition is over, and the parents have left, they usually settle. But making a big deal of the hellos and goodbyes every morning can make things worse .

Oh FFS....

I teach and tbf I would not ignore a crying child coming into school.. EVER… even if my TA was dealing with it.

I think it’s easy to leap to teachers defence but if we actually think about whether we’d do the same we wouldn’t.

I’m not sure I’d email the head @Hc1984 but I would ask to chat to the teacher to see if there was more you could both do to aide transition.

I've never known teachers to say, "Hullo", to every child. They usually wait until all are in and then greet the class.

Your little boy is just taking a bit of time to settle down, it is very early days for him and not at all unusual. He will be fine soon and sail in chatting to other childen, not bothered about the teacher. Bless him.

I always stood at the door and tried to say a general hello, passing any children who were upset onto the TA .
At this time in the term the teacher is also guarding the door for any 'bolters'. She has to be pretty alert. She cannot possibly stop to talk to any one parent. That would distract her. I expect when the door closes and they are all safely in she then turns her attention to upset children.

you’re understandably worried about your child starting school so young as I would be too, the extra support and encouragement you had before he started now looks like it’s not there when he’s walking into school so I understand how you feel. I’ve got three and my youngest has just started she’s really struggled and cries every morning so I do appreciate it when the teacher acknowledges she needs a little extra help in the mornings.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable wanting the teacher to say hello to your son when he’s looking at her at all.

i wouldn’t email in and as long as the TA is taking good care of him and he’s happy to go in I think just leave it at that

I understand it's upsetting. My 3 have all gone through quite upsetting phases of school refusal- the oldest just crying and had to be guided in, the younger two to the point I was chasing them about the playground, teachers helping carry them in. It was always the assistants or senior staff that dealt with it, I barely saw their class teachers in the morning and mainly see them at pick up.

Im sure the teacher greets the class when they're all in and maybe she feels staying back a bit and being calm helps the situation?

My kids have now left school. I have seen every kind of teacher. The ones who seem to view children as an inconvenience, and the ones who are effusive and warm, and act like seeing each child has made their day! And obviously every kind of teacher in between. I do believe this is due to an individual teacher’s personality rather than anything to do with time or logistics.

When the teacher is at the door she will be clocking who is coming in and making sure no children are walking back out again the teacher will say hello when they are all together, for you it is best leaving your child straight away and don't hang around it makes things worse for them.

Are you able to defer? They can start reception a year later now if summer born. I can’t see any reason not to defer. You are obviously hyper conscious of him being younger. It’s also rubbish at sixth form end not being able to go out and celebrate with rest of class.

Here's some simple maths:
2 X 30 = 60
That's right, 2 mins with each of 30 kids is 1 hour.
If the teacher starts letting kids in when school starts, and spends up to 2 minutes settling each one in it will take her one hour. If you want to be hanging around for up to 1 hour waiting while the teacher is welcoming each kid, suggest it to her, otherwise count your son extremely lucky that there is a TA welcoming him and staying with him if needed, and move on!

Actually I disagree.

Every Reception teacher I've known has made a point of saying good morning to every child. Either from the door or when they go in the classroom