I pay for everything- need opinions please

Your obviously a very clever woman to be running your own business, standing on your own two feet financially.. managing everything for the house and children.
Yet you appear to have a leach
I'd definitely cut him loose .. hopefully he won't have a claim on your house

Jaysus. You're asking for opinions, so...

This post has made me feel so depressed. How could you, a capable woman who has a successful business of her own and is raising three children, possibly have got into this situation? I fear you have incredibly low self esteem, maybe a history of people walking all over you, or perhaps you're afraid of him? Or more likely afraid of being on your own I think.

I view what he's doing as basically criminal. BTW he is NOT a good man and he is NOT a good father. He is taking advantage of you and the fact that you fear the relationship breaking up. In other words he is taking the absolute fucking piss. And he will continue to. You need to throw him out. Don't believe a word he says about things changing going forward. It won't happen. He needs to go. Use the money you save on him for some expensive psychotherapy to work out why the hell this ever happened in the first place. Do not take him back. Ever ever ever. He's a piece of shit.

He's not a good man. No respectable person who treat their partner like that.
Please leave him. You and your children deserve so much more.

Of course he won't leave... why would he!! He's got it made!!

You need to get rid, I know you say you don't want to be a single parent but what is he contributing to your life? Financially or otherwise?

He is a good man

What I suspect you mean is he's not actively nasty ...but no, he doesn't sound like a good man to me.

Life throws curved balls at us all, but generally I would never suggest anyone has a relationship with someone who contributes much less to the relationship than they do. OP this is your situation. Sky Sports are indeed expensive, but that amounts to c 60 quid a month or so. And he does not even feel embarrassed about not finding the cash for this? Mmmm

He’s not a good man.

<COCKLODGER KLAXON>

He's a parasite. Get rid.

How much do you make self-employed? I make 900/m and get the rest from UC.

You won't raise your child alone. He will be involved, from a different house.

You can have time to work on your business and enjoy time with your child in your home without him there. You can work when your son is at his dad's.

It's a win win!

Perhaps as a warning to others, you moved this man into your home during the rose tinted (honeymoon) phase. This is typically around 2 years so whilst the issues were likely to be there the happy hormones allowed you to disregard the red flags.

Having another child will have cemented his thoughts that you are fine with the set up.

How old is he? Where did he live before you? It would be good for your family unit if he started to behave like an adult but realistically it's unlikely. He will no doubt think he is a victim of your "unreasonable, moody" behaviour. He does sound more like a teenager than an adult male.

If he isn't supporting himself or paying into a pension will he expect you to bail him out in his old age?

Are you so desperate for a man that you are prepared to continue living like this? If you're not desperate for a man then why don't you just break up wiith him?

OP, get your self respect up off the floor and tell him it’s over. He has absolutely no shame. What kind of person brings nothing home but then demands TV streaming services? I nearly choked when I read that.

I agree. He clearly has no conscience and no sense of responsibility towards his child, let alone yours, OP. He happily abuses your generosity and tolerance, and demands even more without any intention of paying his way. So why would he work when he can live comfortably off you? And why would he change?

Please get rid of him. You will be so much better off, not just financially, without him leeching off you. And importantly, your DC will learn women deserve respect.

Imagine a friend telling you this about their life. I'd say you'd be shocked and very concerned.

I'm afraid your partner is not being good, he's taking serious advantage of you, behaving in such an entitled way.

I'm not surprised your feelings are changing towards him. He does nothing and has nothing to offer, from what you're saying.

You must be mentally & physically exhausted

In the kindest way possible, what are you afraid of? Judging from your post you're already clearly an extremely competent, hard-working, dynamic individual who would be perfectly capable of raising children on your own. I can absolutely guarantee you that the additional work you envisage having by parenting solo will feel so much easier than bearing the weight of resenting a partner who isn't supporting you and contributing his fair share. You're already working all hours under the sun, it can't exactly get worse can it? What a great example to set your children to show them that their lovely mum has enough self-respect and belief in herself to go it alone rather than bringing them up in a household where their male role model clearly disrespects their mother and contributes nothing to the household while their poor mum is worked to the point of exhaustion just to provide the essentials. And because of what? Because she thinks she is somehow "less" without a romantic partner/co-parent? Nothing about your post makes you sound like anything less than an absolute warrior!

I PROMISE you, it will feel less stressful going solo. You do NOT need this man in your life.

If you really feel you must have a conversation first, then I would calmly sit him down and explain the current situation is untenable. You are exhausted and resent doing all this work only to scrape by when there is plenty more he could be doing to contribute financially and ease the pressure on you. Ask him what he plans to do about it. If he makes excuses - and I mean ANY kind of excuses or anything that isn't a resounding here's my plan of XYZ and proves that he will stick to it - then end the relationship. Your life will instantly become easier and more peaceful without the resentment caused by trying to spin plates for two people, I can assure you of that.

Cocklodger.

Tell him you can't afford to keep him and he either transfers you a chunk of money today and then regularly after that or he'll have to move out.

If he refuses then tell him to leave by the weekend.

You can't pussyfoot around these men. He'll treat you like you allow it.

PLEASE say you haven't married him.

Get rid, he saw u as an easy ride.

He’s lazy, he doesn’t respect you, he’s a cocklodger.
He’s onto a nice little number with you- you do all the work, pay for everything, organize everything plus with free sex on tap.
A few “little jobs” about the house? Him putting the bins out doesn’t make him a good man.

Time he found some where else to go and sponge.

He’s a useless freeloading cocklodger who saw you coming and is taking food out of your child’s mouth.

Every penny you use to bankroll this useless lazy fucker is a penny less you have for your DC. How is being a single parent worse than being leeched off?

Why on earth would you want to make if work? He’s not a good man, he’s a piss taking feckless cunt who sees you as his cashpoint - show your kids that a woman doesn’t accept that sort of shit and kick his arse out. No good man treats his partner like this.

Why on earth did you have a child with someone who has never contributed? Of course he wants the good tv package, that's what he does all day while you are working to fund his lifestyle. Seriously OP, raise your standards.

He’s not a good man.

The money you’re using to support him and his fecklessness is money you are taking away from your kids. And you had a baby with him 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

You'll have to bring the baby up alone even if you don’t want to because you know you need to ditch the loser and you won’t get a penny in child support. You’ve also saddled a child with a useless dad.

Doing jobs round the house is the only good thing you have said about him. This does not make him a 'good man'.

You have also said that he doesn't contribute, doesn't appear to want to spend time with you, doesn't respect you, doesn't have any ambition or drive, moans about the level of netflix YOU are buying and does not offer to pay for the upgrade. Jeez, what are you getting from this relationship?

I made the mistake of desperately clinging onto my marriage for years when I should have let it go. My ex was similar. He gave up his job, went self employed and earned very little. He did contribute towards food and bills but only when he could afford it. I paid the mortgage, most of the bills and everything for DS. I worked full time and studied. I did all the life admin and most of the housework still fell to me while he worked the hours he wanted, doing what he wanted for little reward. My respect for him dwindled and we spent years falling out and then reconciling.

Don't be me.

How embarrassing.

Sorry but you are a door mat. Time to pull it from under your feet and kick him to the kerb

You’re being a mug. He wants to have his cake & eat it.