To ask DH to keep our BTL

So he works,pays all the bills, the house was his before you met him.
You haven’t put anything in,don’t work,don’t pay any bills and want the free money for spends….ok then.

Working parents do all of those things, with a tighter schedule. 😆

You need a poper grown up conversation with dh. What is the plan?
Do you have access to the joint household income he earns?
If he's playing trick then you need to earn your own income to have your own money. Although legally you own everything 50 50. Maybe take legal advice here op

So the property was his, but the majority of the ownership was transferred to you so you could take advantage of your lower rate of tax?

It sounds like its become a burden on him, and the income isn't worth the hassle. I'm a bit concerned about your lack of agency in all this, but if he manages it in conjunction with a FT job, I can understand what he is saying given that you don't have scope.

I think people could give a fairer response if you could provide a greater insight into your FTM status, i.e. how many, what ages, schools/nursery etc.

And yet working parents do all of those things, on top of their actual full time jobs!😂

If you think keeping a house clean and cooking meals is a full time job you may want to try you know.. an actual full time job. Or maybe don’t, you’d get a bloody awful shock

You aren't answering questions OP. How old are the children? I am guessing they are older if your husband is looking to retire. In which case don't you think it is time you starting contributing by finding a job.

But now you own it and he cannot sell it without your signature on the paperwork. He must have realised this when he signed it over to you. That it was his home before you married makes no difference. It's a) owned by you and b) you are a team and you make decisions jointly. If he wants you to go back to work and pay nursery fees then he should say so - the income from the BTL should cover nursery nicely. Talk to him properly.

You are able to work. Your children would need childcare. He would need to take on his share of household tasks and childcare. Have you discussed how it would look if you went back to work with him?

To be quite honest, lots of women with children work FT and managing a HMO should not take that many hours a week. I'm not surprised that he's not that happy working FT, then managing a rental property, and diverting all the income from that to you. If you want to keep that income he can't sell it if it's in your name BUT you will have to do the work.

Is a "large" HMO not about 5-10k a month? That seems rather a lot for personal spends (I'm down South so could be overestimating)

Sorry but this is nonsense. Working parents manage all that and an actual full time job.
I say that as someone who has been a SAHM. Hard work and valuable, sure. But the same as a full time job? Absolutely not.

Really? 37 hrs a week? How do the rest of us cope working and doing the same?🤨

Strangely enough, most of us manage not to live in a hotel, raise our kids, feed them and take care of drop offs/pick ups and work 🙄.

But you know this and are just being goady

So as you've called it a BTL, I assume the HMO is mortgaged - who pays the mortgage, does it come from DH account or the income from the house?

And your DH works full time, and manages the HMO?
I don't blame him for getting rid. Of course you need access to family money but if he's finding the rental too much or doesn't want to anymore, surely it's better to sell & reduce the mortgage and his stress?

You can adjust your lifestyles to his one income if you don't want to work.

I must admit I'm waiting for the drip feed that the kids are 14 & 16 - how old are they OP?

The market for selling is good, it would be a good time to sell, free up the mortgage, he isn't seeing any income from the property, by selling, he is reducing outgoing mortgage payments, obviously he needs to support you in the shortfall.
Wouldn't it be easier for the family to sell, you could return to work PT bring in another wage.
It takes one bad luck incident with your tenant, before you're 10,000 in arrears, paying court costs.
What age is DH?

See I started off as Team OP but now I think I'm more Team H.

If you want to keep the income, you need to take over the management and take that off your H.

If it needs that much input and takes up that much time, it's a poor investment and you'd be wise to sell.

If you really need such a level of disposable income (an HMO will be pulling in four figures a month), given that H pays for bills and essentials, and you can't hack managing one rental property or doing what should be an incredibly straightforward tax return for yourself, then you can get a part-time job.

You haven't mentioned a reason why you have to be a SAHM, so unless otherwise stated I'm assuming there is no reason why you couldn't work school / evening / weekend hours.

You need to have an honest chat with your H.

There are a million reasons not to put a baby into the care of someone else. There's threads every day on here about how it's 'hell' and making people miserable to push a baby into nursery.

What a dystopian suggestion.

Why shouldn’t he retire early? And some of us are lone parents and manage a full time job FGS.

They own multiple rental properties. He’ll probably just get a cleaner.

That’s probably not the threat you think it is.

She raises the kids, does drop offs and pick ups, probably meetings with teachers, keeps the house clean, laundry, makes meals. These are all full-time jobs in and of themselves.

He sounds like an asshole. Tell him that if you go back to work, he is responsible for half of everything you do in the house now, and don't back down. He cooks half the meals, does half the housework, does half the childcare. See how soon that lasts.

This!

I would say to the OP obviously you can have a conversation with your DH & tell him that it's your only source of income... and see what he says?

Especially now with the childcare hours provided (assuming you are in the UK?) there isn't really a reason you couldn't get a job from when your youngest is 9months old.

Different if you WANT to be a SAHM and don't want to work as you want to raise your children and be there for them before & after school etc. That is really lovely if that is the case, but obviously only works if both parents are on the same page and the one that work an is happy to fund you doing this.

Just have the conversation with him?!

You sound shockingly entitled

Ah yes, this is what MN is all about 😂

If you’re a SaHM and your DH won’t support you properly then you’ll need to go back to work and the children will have to go into paid childcare. Your DH will have to pay a share of that care proportional to his income so that you both have money to spend.

I know that might not be how you’d like it to be but you can’t let him financially control
you.