To ask DH to keep our BTL

This - it sounds like the OP could work but she'd rather her husband pays for her 'treats'. To me this smacks of entitlement.

Is this a reverse?

it sounds like the property is a considerable burden on him, and he sees no upside.

if you want financial independence, you need to get a job.

I definitely wouldn’t want to work f/t, presumably in quite a high paying = high pressure job and then manage an HMO for someone else really.
So no blame here but you will have to discuss your future plans and finances as a couple - eg/can you remain a SAHM - does he know how much money you need, and for what and do the finances add up.
Maybe there’s further issues but if he does pay the mortgage with the money that leaves you ok if it ever came to financial splits, as it is your asset too.

I was responding to you saying that men need women to support them working type thing.

That isn’t the case for most people in my experience. And the idea that in 2025 men need a good woman behind them to facilitate them working is very outdated.

if All kids at school then look for a job to get some income

I’m assuming his wages go into the bank aka pot - cover the mortgage and bills and you are not allowed money from this pot

So you don't work, can't/won't clean and won't manage the rental property that's in your name either - all while your husband works, finances you and all the children, pays for a cleaner and deals with the rental property.

I'm not bloody surprised he wants to sell.

It’s not just up to your husband it’s a joint decision, I m in a similar position but my husband works and I get my income from the interest from are savings . How is he expecting you to fund your life style once the house is sold ? And why is he in such a hurry to sell ? if it’s only affects the term and not monthly payments ?.

Where do I find myself one of these men 🤣🤣

No wonder he wants to sell up , he’s drawn the short straw hasn’t he out of this deal . He gets all the work and you get the benefits AND he’s already handed most of the property over to you to start with . A bit of a doormat isn’t he by the sounds of it ….!

I'm agog that the OP can't/won't even manage the property she's been lucky enough to have been technically gifted (albeit for tax-dodging purposes, which I'm side-eyeing).

But anyway to cut to the chase:

I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

It doesn't provide you with financial freedom, as you are now discovering. It's just another way of being dependent on your husband.

I suppose you could simply refuse to sell your share but I'm not sure how well that would work out in the long term for you or your marriage.

The only thing that will provide you with genuine financial freedom is your own income from your own job (not from a property that wasn't yours to start with and that you cannot manage yourself).

No-one is saying being a SAHM isn't a valid choice, but it has to be a decision taken jointly and can only last as long as both partners are still in agreement with it.

So you are a blended family. This is potentially very complicated!!

I would suspect he’s fed up and wants a break too - including retiring early.

Or maybe he’s wising up that he’s got himself a bit of a gold digger and is sorting his finances out.

@Nosdoc forget about the financial arrangements between the two of you. Being a landlord now in the coming years will be a nightmare due to all the incoming legislation changes.

Also, it is likely that there will be taxes on the capital gains in the forthcoming budget. Both of those in isolation are good reasons to sell, but together, it is a no brainer.

If it's taking up large amounts of his time to manage the property, then it's not really surprising he wants to sell. Why don't you look at a school lunchtime supervisor in a school type role/part time school admin role, something that would be term time only and fits around school.

exactly. He works. He manages the HMO which was already his before the marriage. She uses this money to live on, clean the house because she can't, pay for her children to go to a private school, but apparently gives HIS children some treats. I have clearly gone wrong somewhere in my life.

Yeah. That said my children, not our children.

My assumption is that the HMO rent has been paying for one set of kids to be privately educated. I am even less surprised he wants to sell.

you need to have a chat with DH and financial advisor, bricks and mortar are a long term investment and very rarely decrease in value. Another 5 years and your situation may have changed and the property should have increased.

Oh I missed that. So rather complicated then.

So, DH owned a house. For free you were gifted a share of it and get most of the benefit. It runs as an HMO but your DH has to actually run it on top of his full time job because you tried and couldn't. Your kids are in primary school and you have a cleaner but you say you are "unable to work" due to being a SAHM. However you don't want him to get rid of this house that he has to run on top of his work because you like getting all the money.

If you were a bloke you'd be called a cocklodger, OP.

Maybe go find a part time job and earn some money?

So… your kids are all in school. so you’re not a stay at home mum, you’re just someone that doesn’t have a job.

And you’re pissed off because your husband doesn’t want to work longer than he needs to so that he can keep funding your leisure time?

Unless there is a massive backstory you are being massively unreasonable.

Not his children.

I think there’s a drip feed coming here. Do you not have joint DC? Is he paying school fees for your dc from this money?

So how much money do you get a month to spend on these things?

And how much spending money does he get a month, and what does he spend it on?

Exactly. OP was quite content with the financial setup prior to her DH wanting to sell. Perfectly happy not to be involved in any of the finances, any of the decisions, any of the work, as long as she got her “income”. And when she realised that will be switched off, only then is she concerned.

So what is DHs plan with cleaning and school fees if he sells this place?