To ask DH to keep our BTL

It's not really being a SAHM when all your kids are in school though, is it? She says herself she doesn't even do the cleaning - her DH pays for someone else to do it.

So if there is not enough money in your joint account to cover your expenses, how is he suggesting you pay for them? If there was friction before, why does he think this will have changed now? Are the things really superfluous or just his opinion?

@Reasontoreason "How is he expecting you to fund your life style once the house is sold?" At least one answer to this is for OP to get a job.

If you and your husband don't see marital property and incomes as shared then what you can you expect to happen ? You say the income is 'yours' but then that it was 'his' house before marriage - can't you just share your assets and then work out if it's viable for you to not to work outside of the home? As you are married, I don't think you can realistically see rental income from any property as being somehow 'your' source of income. Actually paying off a mortgage early will be a huge benefit and will save you (both) a fortune in interest and you will have a more secure future - so I agree with hubby.

You are not unable to work, you chose not to...

Is his income shared with you? If not will it be after the BTL is sold?

She is allowed to spend from the pot, but he then comments that what she spends on is "frivolous" (she says that giving her the rent directly from the HMO was to reduce the friction in their marriage caused by her spending/him commenting).

It sounds to me as if the question of the property is not the real problem in your marriage.

You should be discussing family finances as a partnership, rather than him laying down the law, but I suspect there might be more to this than you’ve told us. For instance, you say "I’m a SAHM so I am unable to work", but that’s circular logic. Does your DH think you should get at least a part-time job? Does he resent the amount of time he has to spend on sorting out the BTL property as well as working full- time? Does he think you spend too much on treats for yourself and the DC?

OP what are you hoping to get out of this thread? Because you're not going to get anything remotely helpful if you drip feed.

Why do you not go to work?

Yeah I hate it when people suggest that men are only able to advance in their career because they have a SAHP.

There’s childcare, cleaners etc etc that they can outsource too. And plenty of men are more than selfish enough to prioritise their careers over their family regardless of whether or not their DW or mother of their children are willing to pick up the slack. Being a SAHP is a privilege many can’t afford and the benefit from it is for the children, which is a good reason to do it. But these high flying men would still have their careers regardless if their wife was also in employment too.

No she's not, they're all in school. She doesn't even do the housework.

OP you won’t get a lot of support on here being a SAHM . A lot of the time it sounds like jealousy. It’s a joint property and your husband doesn’t get a final say . Explain your concerns send him a message if it easer to relay all your worries.

So Dh works, manages the BTL and sees none of the income. You are a SAHM with a cleaner I think you need to get a job your children are primary age what do you do all day? When are you planning to return to work? Im not surprised he wants to sell he is working and has made investments so why shouldn't he have early retirement as a goal rather than financing the entire household. YABU.

So your H’s plan is to sell the BTL to fund the reduce the mortgage repayments on your family home and he wants to retire early. What are your plans and have you discussed them with your H?

You say that the management of the BTL was too much for you but can you must be able to appreciate that your H probably doesn’t want the stress either.

You and your H don’t sound like much of a team. He wants to simplify his financial obligations and you come across as someone who wants no profit from the BTL but you don’t want the responsibility of managing it. Both positions are fine to take but you should at the bare minimum, discuss them.

I think you desire for financial freedom and independence without assuming any responsibility is myopic at best.

Assuming a stereotypical set up, which could of course be wrong, then it is likely his children don't live with them full time and likely spend more time at their mother's house.

As she pays school fees for her child, it's not impossible that the child is at a boarding school or is at school for longer hours than a normal school. Again, this may be wrong but fee-paying schools do tend to have longer days and Saturday schooling for day pupils.

There may not be as much full-time caring for multiple children as is being made out.

It's already here. Getting clear information from OP is like pulling teeth!

You are a female cocklodger.

Perhaps the money from the BTL is working harder else where. We have a BTL which I get the income from however my husband wants to sell that as he says the return is very poor and we would get more elsewhere....

You need to talk to your husband about where your funds are coming from.

So what do you buy that your DH would regard as "frivolous" OP?
You've also written in this post "my DC" and "his DC" - are they one and the same or do you have DC from previous relationships? How many DC do you have?

How many kids do you have with him, or do ye both have young kids from previous relationships, how many in total and what ages

the7Vabo

It can be the other way around too, a number of my friends are main earners, the other works in a lower paying job/ sahp to facilitate it but yes sorry, just having a day, went off on a rant!!

Any of the work? She is caring for the children ...that is work

Sell it, stop factory farming tiny rooms and inadequate housing to people who probably work their arses off for your treats money with no Hope of ever getting a mortgage.
maybe a family will be able to buy it rather than another landlord who offers no additional value and simply controls access to essential commodities like housing because they happen to have more money, and is able to extract value from other peoples sweat while they do fuck all

If he can’t afford to replace the income. How is he going to manage to pay what that income is paying for now

Can you look for a full time job to replace the income. Obviously because dc are at primary school you will need wrap around care which he will also need to pay half of as well as half of the cleaners costs and school fees. As well as doing half of the pickups and drop offs
Half the cooking, shopping, cleaning. He can’t just come home anymore and not have any responsibilities

I would say he wants you out at work. The problem comes when he expects you to do everything you did before and his life not to change.

It matters because your DH has clearly decided that he is no longer willing to support you to be a SAHP. So you have three options if he refuses to discuss it - sell it and you have no income going forward.

Sell it, get a job and tell you DH he needs to pick up 50% of the childcare and the childcare costs.

Or refuse to sell it, initiate a divorce and take half the assets, because his unwillingness to have a conversation is really unfair and shows he doesn’t view you a an equal partner.