To ask DH to keep our BTL

Your DH is NBU to want to get rid of the BTL.

However, he should be agreeing to have a proper conversation with you about the whole issue, and how you keep some independence.

Obviously it's not convenient to your DH.

You need to get a job. Or learn to live on whatever the amount he's comfortable to give you. And be sweet to him so he continues paying for your DC private school.

So it's really his property in the great scheme of things?

Have you come up with a list of benefits to keeping it other than it's giving you money?

She’s still a SAHM even if her kids are at school. She’s the one doing school runs, sorting uniforms, helping with homework, cooking meals, and keeping the home running smoothly. When the children were younger, she probably saved the family thousands in childcare costs. She may have missed out on career opportunities and promotions by staying home, while her husband could focus on his career without worry.
I’m a SAHM with school-age children, and it absolutely makes our lives easier. My husband goes to work, and when he comes home the house is clean, dinner is ready, the kids are bathed, and homework is done. That means we can actually relax together as a family. It may not be for everyone, but for us, it works for others OP hasn’t actually said her husband would like her to get a job . If they don’t both agree with her stying home that’s different

It sounds like the original agreement was you manage the BTL and look after the children and he works full time. But the goal posts moved to him working full time and looking after the btl and the children being at school.

Tread carefully OP because you might think you have all the cards right now but the minute he calls your bluff and divorces you, you are up the creek. Half of the equity in the properties and cms will be a much less financially comfortable existence than this one. Especially if you can't manage any of the rentals so can't keep them on yourself and have an out of date cv that will only get you back in the workplace as a minimum wage worker.

Is there a reason that you absolutely cannot work?

On the face of what you have said , your husband owned the property but transferred a share to you - so it never cost you anything. Then he covered all the costs of it and the running of it but you had the income from it ? He pays the bills , so this is your ‘fun’ money , to spend when the children are in school and he’s at work? He also pays a cleaner to clean the house ?

If there is more to it, then please do say , but I think you have to admit that this really does not seem like he is being unreasonable to not want to have to do all that any more when you’re children are in school and you could work … the house he paid for , he is getting nothing from and he wants to use that to shorten your mortgage which leaves you in a better position in the future ?

I presume he will still be covering all the bills as you have no income? So surely you could get even a part time job , to give you some income ?

So your dh is doing this on top of his actual job to give you spending money.
I understand why he wants to sell it

It's not you paying though, it's your DH. Now that all your DC are at school, you have the time to work and pay for it yourself.
Whatever the set up has been, he's telling you it isn't working anymore. Time to share the load a bit.

You need to get a job - I don’t see why you can’t work part time? Almost every mum I knew through school worked part time 20 years ago. The one SAHM I knew went to work when her youngest was in school.

So what is the plan post sale for a) how you pay for your expenses and b) how you pay for your child to go to private school? I'm reading this as you have kids together with DH and one of your own.

You need a plan, otherwise you're begging for spending money every month a la 1962. Or, you'll have to get a job, obvs

This is a grand deal for your ex as well!!

Or maybe he understands that OP could pay school fees for her child from her own wages if she chose to earn some.

Except your DH

What has he said about money for you in the future? Surely this has been discussed, or is he assuming/forcing you to get a job?

Say 0930-1430h, so 5h, 25h a week. Even term-time only 37 weeks at min wage brings in about £11k.
It might take a bit of finding (or include shifts when their father can look after them?
It would make a difference to most people.

So an income stream from a property DH bought and manages pays school fees for your DC. He presumably understands that if you sell that property he will need to pay those fees for your DC from his wages?

Actually, I think this thread is a pretty good illustration of why bother to earn your own money if you can get it gifted to you by your partner! So you're with a high earner, he owns a BTL property which, to minimise tax liabilities is transferred largely to you and with you retaining the BTL income. And when he wants to sell - it's to pay off the mortgage of your home. Win, win, win

Also you seem to be avoiding the question asked many times - how does your husband feel about you continuing to be a SAHM now that your kids are older?

You say that he doesn’t earn enough money to give you spending money after paying all the household bills and school fees. Surely you now can’t afford to be a SAHM.

My guess is that your husband wants you to go back to work, you’re digging in your heels and so this is his way to make you! And unless there is a drip feed that you have a disability which means you are completely unable to do any paid employment, then I dont blame him.

Could you return to work?

Threads like this drive me nuts. OP, presumably you came on here to get some decent honest advice from wise, empathetic women. We are here to give it to you but you disappear, don't answer questions, and drip feed your situation. Do you want help?

If you were a man we would all be calling you a cocklodger.

And I say this as someone who was a SAHM myself when my kids were 0-5.

Or reduce her spending to a level her DH is happy to continue bank-rolling.

He's accused her of being "frivolous", not "superfluous".