Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What was the moment you knew your marriage / relationship was over? The straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak

288 replies

LavaLaamp · 09/09/2025 23:41

For me it was after he’d repeatedly told me that mama Mia in the cinema was a total joke and the fact I wanted to see it with my mum was pathetic, he refused to see it with me and took the piss repeatedly for weeks. I ignored him and went with my mum, aunt and cousin and had an absolutely brilliant time. Then the week after we went for the 2nd or 3rd time (sing along obviously) with more piss taking from boyfriend (not light hearted) it was my birthday and we had plans for my birthday.

I had a huge party which he didn’t turn up for and when I asked him why he wasn’t there he said he’d taken his co worker to go see mama Mia as she really wanted to go. I realised I would never be a priority in his life and dumped him, he married his co worker and then cheated on her with his male colleague 3 years later, lucky escape!

I was also ‘left at the alter’ on my wedding day- I found out about an hour before that he wasn’t to be found anywhere, I was in my dress, hair and makeup done etc. his mum told my moh that they didn’t know where he was but he wouldn’t be coming to the wedding, so I asked my moh and bridesmaid to tell everyone that the wedding wouldn’t be going ahead but everyone was welcome to come and enjoy the reception because we’d already paid for it all so we had a fab day with lots of tears and laughter at what should have been my wedding day! All his groomsmen stayed to be with me, his best man was incredible It went viral and he did apologise and ask to come back but I said no. 4 years on and I’m married to my soul mate and my ex is single and none of his friends speak to him.

Im so grateful that he did that because I’m so happy now.

what about you?

OP posts:
Enough4me · 10/09/2025 00:01

He was brilliantly awful (think that's an appropriate oxymoron). Not only did he have an affair, try to gaslight and control me, but he stuffed it up and I worked it out. I found paperwork so he couldn't keep blaming me for anything and found more strength then I knew I had in me to remain composed and go for a fair financial resolution. I learnt my worth.
His affair remains one of the best things he's ever done (from the outcome to me). Tough endings can be great beginnings.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 10/09/2025 00:01

Our 4 year old daughter (who we suspected had special needs) had a meltdown in a shoe shop. She was sitting on the floor crying not destroying anything or making a big scene. Her towered over us and with a sneer on his face shouted she was an embarrassment. My head just clicked that nope not at all, it is you shouting at our child who is the embarrassment, and I just can't love you.
We're safe now ❤️

OverlyFragrant · 10/09/2025 00:01

LavaLaamp · 09/09/2025 23:52

Woah! Thats absolutely insane. I hope you’re doing ok now

Show quote history

I'm doing great. I've done more growing and living in the 4 years without him than the 14 years with him
He on the other hand has become this weird podcaster who talks about "high value women" and how dating is so hard for high value men like him 🤢🤮
He also visits Thailand and Brazil quite frequently for sex tourism so you know what, I'm good thanks.

HeartandSeoul · 09/09/2025 23:59

Sorry, nothing of great interest to add, but so just wanted to say I’ve seen your story quite recently on social media, OP! As you say, it went viral (assuming I have the right couple! Are you Welsh?). Glad to hear you are happier.

Pixiedust1234 · 09/09/2025 23:56

He told me it was an 8yr old's fault for looking at a flashers dick as she should have averted her eyes instead. It was her fault she was upset as she could have ignored the situation but she chose not to.

We have two DD together 😮

Original poster
LavaLaamp · 09/09/2025 23:53

Harrriet · 09/09/2025 23:49

My mum died and he didn't say anything.

Oh that’s awful, I’m glad you’re away from him

OP posts:
Original poster
LavaLaamp · 09/09/2025 23:52

OverlyFragrant · 09/09/2025 23:46

He text me from a beach in Brazil letting me know he'd be back in 4 months.
I had no idea he was going. It really showed me how little he cared about me or the relationship.
Long story short, turns out he was shagging a best friend of my sisters. She got pregnant and the baby was due soon, he fled to Brazil to avoid the upcoming shitstorm heading his way.
Friends and family knew, they decided I didn't need to know. I'm still not talking to some over the whole thing.
I just wish I knew a lot sooner. It would have saved me 18 months of wondering why the sudden cold shoulder, lies, mean comments and general shitness from him.

Woah! Thats absolutely insane. I hope you’re doing ok now

OP posts:
Original poster
LavaLaamp · 09/09/2025 23:51

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/09/2025 23:42

Wow great stories! Is this the same guy or two different ones?!

God no! 2 different guys! The first one is now actually a pretty eminent marine biologist and I see him doing interviews sometimes on tv and he still acts like a massive knob!

second guy I really thought was the ‘one’ but actually my non wedding, wedding party was one of the best days of my life looking back because all my family and fiends rallied around and were absolutely fantastic. His family left which I understood, his mum was so upset. If he hadn’t left me I would never have known really how many people absolutely love and support me. None of his groomsmen speak to him anymore and it turned out he cheated on his stag do anyway so it was a lucky escape.

if he hadn’t done it I would never have met a man who has completed me. So if I was to see him again I think I’d thank him. 2 of my bridesmaids oversaw him moving his shit out of our house and they did it whilst my moh and I went on my ‘honeymoon’ then when it was done they came for the last week of the holiday (2 weeks in total) I love my girls so much

OP posts:
Harrriet · 09/09/2025 23:49

My mum died and he didn't say anything.

RealPerson · 09/09/2025 23:47

That's terrible. I was in a very abusive relationship with my DCs father. I wasn't working at the time because of my mental health, and I ended up in a situation where we were effectively homeless, sleeping on relatives couches. I couldn't get a flat with my low income and poor credit and I asked him to get a place with us.

He said no, and it was in that moment that I finally saw him and the relationship for what it was. He didn't really love us... all he wanted was to play power games with me. That was the relationship. I walked away from it and never looked back. We are settled now in a secure tenancy and life is just so much more peaceful. I am getting over my PTSD. I am much happier than I was. I can't believe I let that man ruin my life for so long.

tilypu · 09/09/2025 23:46

I don't remember what it was about, I do remember realising that I no longer cared what he thought. That was the moment I knew it was over.

OverlyFragrant · 09/09/2025 23:46

He text me from a beach in Brazil letting me know he'd be back in 4 months.
I had no idea he was going. It really showed me how little he cared about me or the relationship.
Long story short, turns out he was shagging a best friend of my sisters. She got pregnant and the baby was due soon, he fled to Brazil to avoid the upcoming shitstorm heading his way.
Friends and family knew, they decided I didn't need to know. I'm still not talking to some over the whole thing.
I just wish I knew a lot sooner. It would have saved me 18 months of wondering why the sudden cold shoulder, lies, mean comments and general shitness from him.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/09/2025 23:42

Wow great stories! Is this the same guy or two different ones?!