What the hell is wrong with me

Yes it's very important to pace yourself or you burn out. Congratulations for finding a strategy that works..

The speed of changing nappies implies dyspraxia may be the cause, which can also accompany ADHD or autism.

Please seek a diagnosis. My son has dyspraxia, he felt he was stupid and once diagnosed his self esteem got better.

ADHD can be treated too. Please seek help, you don’t want to feel like this.

I’m autistic I struggle massively with friendships, I either mask and people love me but it’s trying prending to be something I’m not or I’m weird. I can budget but I have to write a down and check it regularly to stay on track. I’ve found a budget app that helps.
I was exactly the same with jobs, I’d go in love it and give 150% which is not sustainable I’d end up either hating the job and look for something else, performing poorly and getting sacked or ending up ill (physically or mentally) and leaving the role.

When I started my last job I was super conscious of this and tried to pace my self, touch wood it seems to have worked and I have been there almost 5 years. . It is only part time though which I think helps.

You don’t sound stupid to me OP.

To the contrary you sound really insightful about what’s going on for you. You’re being honest that something is going on, and you’re getting help. That’s what smart people do.

Sending love

Don't discount autism, often there's a big overlap between autism and ADHD symptoms in women and one can easily be mistaken for the other. Autism presents very differently in females compared to the male stereotype. Symptoms often include social issues, burnout, hyper fixation on narrow subjects but focus and concentration are also affected which is why interests get dropped easily.

Was gonna say the same

If you're doing the course through a college then you may be able to access support - most higher education institutions will be used to encountering students with undiagnosed learning difficulties or neurodivergence.

Yes, I have the inattentive type

Same.
Late diagnosis of ADHD (combined) and ASD
Knew something wasnt 'right' but ADHD didnt occur to me.
Its mental hyperactivity rather than physical... which is why it doesnt get picked up.
I though everyone could have several trains of thought ... and an earworm... and hold a conversation at the same time ( whilst watching TV )😂

Amazing, how did I not know about this 😀
Thanks so much, going to make an appointment right now!

It depends where in the UK you are. I believe it's limited to England.

(I'm in Scotland but thankfully I didn't wait too long for an assessment! That was back in 2021 though)

That is exactly it.

You have a right to choose your adhd support / diagnosis centre can get it free through the NHS. Not all ADHD centres want to take on NHS patients for whatever reason, but many do and ADHD360 is one such service.

For us they did a diagnosis and triaged the meds. Meds are now on an NHS prescription.

Sorry for the stupid question, but are you saying I could go to my GP and get a referral to ADHD360, potentially get a diagnosis within 6 months for free?

Sorry to hijack your post OP!

What you’ve described is pretty much me- I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at the start of the year.
You’re not alone X

I'm another who came on to say ADHD! I thought I was going crazy when I had 2 little kids and post natal anxiety and then I burnt out of another job. Then I heard a woman on the radio talking about her late diagnosis of ADHD and she was describing me! I've read loads about it since and learned loads of new coping strategies (including to be less hard on myself). GP fobbed me off so I've never actually been sent for diagnosis but since I've actually come a long way without one I'm really okay with that now.

You sound like an awesome mum and an awesome person btw. You'll get through this!

You sound exactly like me and i'm pretty sure I have ADHD (but can't seem to get round to making an appointment)

especially as most of my family who are my age or above

Don't compare yourself to others. That way lies misery and madness.
Or, if you must compare, compare yourself to other women with ADHD - find a support group online and read about other people's experiences.

Is this my life forever, if I am neuro diverse?
If you are neurodiverse, then yes it is for life.
BUT you can learn new coping techniques and methods that work for you (calendars, phone reminders, giving yourself a time limit for tasks, etc.), and you can learn new habits. (Learning new habits or dropping bad habits is very difficult for humans, but it can be done with enough determination).

My OH was diagnosed with inattentive adhd last year, and isn't particularly "hyperactive" in that he's quite happy sitting still doing things. He is however, very chatty. VERY chatty. And even sat still he seems to often be stretching a limb or clicking his neck. I think it affects people differently. He's on Medikinet now, and it's truly been a game-changer. He also goes to a support group once a month, which he has found very helpful in terms of the emotional side. In his one, ADHD doesn't have to of been diagnosed necessarily, just suspected.

If you go down the route of getting an assessment, LOOK AT "YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE" as wait times will be much less. We went with ADHD360 and the whole process took about 6 months rather than 5.5 years, which is what the NHS times would have been in our area x

I have combined ADHD. Never felt like a hyperactive person ever (quite the opposite was always a daydreamer) but I realise now the hyperactivity is all in my mind (my brain never, ever, ever shuts off). I was diagnosed 2 years ago. Good luck OP, I hope you’re able to find some support.

you should get a diagnosis and read good books about it to find ways yo help yourself. There's a really good book by Jessie Hewitson about it. Can't remember the name you'll have to look it up. But it talks about how adhd REALLY works, not some of the myths around it. ....what is really going in. It could help you to read it. Make your life better..

Are you adhd

You clearly really care for your daughter and try your best for her, which is more than can be said of some parents. This will instill her with invaluable self worth and sense of security, as she grows and when she is an adult. Much more important than budgeting.

If you're burning out, maybe don't bite off so much? You can still accomplish a lot, going slow and steady. Open University for example, you can just get a few credits / modules done each year. Or go for slightly easier roles in jobs - you can always apply for something more advanced once you're confident at the easier level, and build from there once you have the core skills locked down x

Please don’t be hard on yourself. I’m another who suggests ADHD and might benefit from asking for a referral from your GP. I wasn’t aware of a time slot for nappy changing and people need to back off! Who cares how long it takes as long as skin is cleansed and new nappy is fitted carefully. If anyone comments pass the nappy and wipes to them and say “Carry on!”