to expect mil to help out sometimes with the kids??

Is this a wind up. Someone has five kids, a 16 year old who vapes (how is he funding this?) and the Mum doesn’t like to ask him to do too much.

They then complain about their MIL…..

Other posters have said but why didn’t you leave the big ones at home & just take the little ones? Might not have been much easier but surely taking 3 is easier than 5?

It’s not about treating her grandchildren equally. It’s her DIL asking for a favour, not the DGC. She might spend an equal amount of quality time with them but is spending more time with her DD, who is a SAHP with two kids so much less likely needed to care for the DGC. More likely to just go and have a nice time with her DD and her children. Whereas her DIL wants favours

I don't agree that teenagers should have to mind smaller siblings but surely for half an hour they could have looked after the little ones and just you had the baby go?

If your MIL doesn't want to help there's nothing you can do. My DM wouldn't help with her only DGC. I always wanted my DM and my DS to have a relationship but you can't make it happen.

I think you just need to accept it. But when she needs help it's up to her DD and your DH to do it.

Really? You wouldn't watch 5 kids for the length of time it takes to go to Tesco for nappies? I have five sons too I(although grown now) - 2 sets of twins. Thank goodness I had people in my life that didn't feel the same way you do. I would have been gone in the head.

Could you have asked her to pick up the nappy’s instead. I know you need a break but I would struggle with minding 5 now and I’m a mom of 4.

Maybe she'd be more open to having one at a time op? Having all five is really too much for anyone but the parents or paid childcare imo. I remember going to my nans alone or with my closest in age sister but never all four of us.

Whoosh delivery?

Mothers are generally more close to their daughter's kids, as opposed to their son's kids.

The mother/daughter in law relationship can be contentious and I imagine she feels more comfortable with SIL, over you.

My mum always felt more comfortable in mine or my sister's homes, over my SIL.

She does and will of course favour her daughter over you. But it sounds like she disagrees with your lifestyle choice to have 5 children.
Well I disagree with the first sentence. Of course some grandparents treat their DD's and DS's children equally (although seems rare on MN but not in real life)
The second sentence has it for me. I couldn't cope with 5 DC of my own so I certainly couldn't manage 5 once I'm in my, I'm guessing, 60's.
Realistically though, your 16 year old should be perfectly able to give serious support to you. The large families I see all pull together and manage well, surely that is one of the benefits of lots of DC.

Send your 16 yo to the shop or have him watch his siblings for a short while and you just take the baby.

I'd have thought you could manage your own nappy supply by the 5th kid. Not MILs responsibility. Would be nice if she helped out sometimes, but a last minute nappy run is not something you need someone else for.

But she shouldn't have to do "one little thing". You chose to have five kids - that's not her problem to solve. You could have ordered nappies online instead of dragging your kids out in the rain.

Also old enough to go to Tesco to buy nappies that his disorganised DM forgot.

And how is your 16yr old paying for a vape?

What’s going on with your husband @OneGreatSheep? you’re using quotation marks when talking about his work? You don’t believe he’s working late? Is he avoiding coming home to get out of childcare?

Your MIL isn’t the problem. She’s allowed to enjoy spending time with her daughter

There’s nothing wrong with having five kids. There is something wrong with expecting other people to help you look after them.

" dh never answers his phone when hes “working late” so its always on me. "

You have a DH problem, what exactly is he doing if he's not working? What time is he out of the house?
It's not your MILs job to fill in for her son.

It is what it is OP. You can’t change her. She doesn’t want to help - it may be too much for her, too chaotic, too noisy, too stressful. Accept it. You’ve got no choice here.

It wasn’t a good day today, but you know you’ve made the choice to have these five boys, and unless you pay for help then yes - it is all on you. DH works and pays the bills. You have to crack on with it and resolve to be more organised in future.

Your 16 year old should be more than capable of watching the others for 10 minutes.

I can't bear vaping so it would be best I stayed away from any vaping GC, if any.

What? The kids are her own flesh and blood- they are her sons children. Her grandchildren. Why should she favour her daughter’s children?

yes, people shouldn’t expect help, but you’re not asking for much in my opinion. Just some nappies?! You sound swamped- you can’t just ‘pop’ out to get them like she presumably could. It doesnt sounds like she helps at all so I think best to cut your losses. It’s her loss really if she doesn’t have much of a relationship with her grandchildren anyway

You let your 16 yo vape in the house? You let two of them refuse to help out and glue themselves to technology? Yet you think your MIL should help you out?

I think you should sort your teens out! There's no way my teenager would get away with any of that! She'd moan, but so what?

Vaping IN the house?! Maybe your mil just doesn't agree with your parenting style.

I wonder if the DH sends his mother a card and flowers on Mother’s Day? Does he visit her I wonder?