to expect mil to help out sometimes with the kids??

Why? Because you are extremely judgemental and critical and seem to have zero insight into the challenges and reality of parenting (irrespective of the number of children)

Most parents ( myself included) have times when they feel they aren't coping

This. You need to talk to him about his work, cutting hours and/or get some paid support.

God -it sounds like chaos so I don’t blame her for not wanting that… sorry OP. And sorry - your husband is absolutely useless as well it sounds like. Happy to have the kids but too busy to look after them and always working late? 🙄

I kinda know where you're coming from op. My mil didn't help us at all until dc1 was 6. We now have 2. My sil has two kids close in age. From day one she was onbhand to help. She will have her kids over half terms, weekends amd for random days. She live over 2hrs away and will drive cross country to pick up sil kids and drop them back. My eldest has stayed at hers once overnight in the last 10 years. It hurts for lack o a better word.

BUT we don't expect any help. We crack on and pay for child care when needed. She did once mention how much she help sil but then qualified it by saying the sil was just so overwhelmed - she NEEDED all the help.

I no longer think about it and just accept it for what it is. I'm not her daughter. I'm her sons wife. Thankfully, he does more than his fair share and we both share the load. Tour dh needs to step up and help more .

Why?
Nothing to do with me, a lot to do with the DH who appears to lack involvement.

It's not the number of kids. If they're being described as screaming, whining etc on here I would be reluctant to be involved too.

However, with the father absolving himself of any responsibility - because he works hard (because raising kids and running a house for a big family is a walk in the park) you have replicated that exactly in your own sons. I pity their partners down the line.

The problem is not your MIL. Look closer to home.

Spot on! 👏👏

How many children (if any) do you have and how much support?

What I would have done if I were the MIL is drop the nappies off rather than enter the chaos.

Why? It wasn’t mother in law’s choice for her son to have kids let alone 5. OP tneeds to have a word with her husband

Bloody hell, I wouldn't want to be relying on you for support or understanding.
I'm yet to meet someone who hasn't run out of something at some stage.
We are talking about a very short period of time that the request was made for

I have two daughters and 1 son, they all have children. All my grandchildren are special to me and they all are treat just the same.
I wouldn’t dream of favouring my daughter’s children over my son’s.
My daughter in law knows she only has to ask and I am there.
Giving a little help, when needed!

Can’t you just use Deliveroo to get the nappies..?

Bless you - do you have any family/friends nearby?

I’d have got the nappies for you and you could walk around the block for some fresh air 🩷

Oh and to address your actual question. You running out of nappies is nothing to do with your MIL and everything to do with you and how you're managing your family. She doesn't want the stress of being called out because you've forgotten nappies!

It’s clear the op’s dh is opting out of parenting his 5 sons and the op knows that too.

she could’ve bothered for a few nappies for her exhausted DIL & her grandchild

Maybe she's pissed off with her DIL whinging about hard her life is, her son 'working long hours' and her being asked to pick up the slack. Maybe she thinks her DIL would be less exhausted if they'd not decided to have 5 children. Maybe she doesn't want to rescue someone who seems to make lots of bad choices.

When MIL declines frequently it’s best to stop asking.

One is vaping in his room and another glued to his X box?
It's not the MIL who's the problem, is it?

You have two older sons who need to step up and a husband who is working long hours so not home. Get then into shape or you are making a rod for your own back. Nappies - get them delivered in bulk. You can't afford to run out of things. I'm a GM and I told my daughters ' there is no popping' get organised with the stuff you need or go without. You are coming across as a martyr. Don't sacrifice yourself. You have teenage sons - teach them how to do things otherwise you're raising a bunch of useless men who will end up being slated on MN for not supporting. Train them to do chores, take care of siblings, run errands. Raising boys to be men entails giving them appropriate responsibility. You, OP do not do popping anymore! Good luck. It will be worth it.

It’s shit OP but unfortunately nothing you can do. 5 kids is a lot to expect her to look after. My DF will only look after one at a time if awake for medical appointments. When they're asleep on an evening, he will babysit the two of them occasionally for a few hours.

In my experience, grandmothers are almost always closer to their daughter’s children compared to the sons. I have sons but will make sure I’m a helpful grandma should I be healthy.

Just make sure to note this behaviour from DGM when she grows old and requires care. Her DD can organise that.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. They are your responsibility not hers. Stop popping out children if it's such an issue for you to take care of them yourself.

I plan to help out DD and SD as much as I can when they have children but after reading your post, I really hope neither of them decide to have 5 boys with a father who doesn't contribute to parenting them. Where is your own mother?

Because women aren't automatic childcare just because they are women and it's perfectly fine to say no, especially when we're talking about 5 children.

We also need to have better standards for men and expect them to parent their own children.