to expect mil to help out sometimes with the kids??

Love, I'd do it if I was your nextdoor neighbour so I have no concept of family not helping!

YNBU to expect help from your inlaws (because it’s very possible to provide support within your means, contrary to most on this app who presume it’s full on childcare or nothing), but you need to accept they aren’t going to.

The lack of active parenting from your husband seems to be the bigger cause of your issues. The air quotes suggest to me he’s using work as an excuse to stay from the home and this is adding stress.

I would look out for any fb groups for parents with multiple children and see if you can get some community and tips on organising from there.

Illegal indeed.
There are ways and means of buying the vapes I am guessing.

You sound at the end of your tether OP. It would be nice if MIL helped but she is not obliged. People telling you to be more organised or use Deliveroo (definitely not available everywhere, including in my reasonable sized town 30 mins on train from a major city) are not helpful.

However, you are letting a lot of men and boys who should be more than capable and/or actually responsible for helping off the hook.

Your DH is useless and selfish, and your teen boys are going the same way.

You and your husband decided to have five children. They're your responsibility and putting expectations on other people, no matter if they're family, is rarely going to go well.

And illegal for them to buy. Wonder who’s buying?

Ah, not good either!
OP, you have 5 offspring. You could have got nappies earlier in the day.
Vaping, not healthy, particularly for one so young.

I feel your pain. I think sometimes having a child with additional needs is just overwhelming. I hope things are ok for you at the moment, it's tough 💐

Exactly this! Sounds like a madhouse!

I had to Uber eats some pull ups for my autistic 6 year old when I asked my mil to pick some up on her way over but she forgot and said I should just tell him to use the toilet (oh, why didn't I think of that??!!). I ended up having a screaming row with some stranger because they had put temporary traffic lights right near my driveway and the driver was holding up traffic during the handover. Mils can be very unhelpful

I would have asked the 16 year old to watch them and taken the baby with me, or asked husband to pick up nappies on his way home.

Thank goodness there's a nearby woman to point the finger of blame at.

I don't understand why your oldest could not mind his siblings when you pop out to the stores for nappy?

They are DH's own children. Yet he's ignoring the phone and always ''working late''.

Or what about FIL? OP's own dad? Why is it always put on other women?

There is a thing called contraception , no need to have that many . Safe sex ‼️

That's fair, but I'd like to think if I was asked, I wouldn't mind nipping out for 10 minutes in the same situation, if it meant my multiple small grandchildren didn't have to all be dragged out. Especially if they don't ask often, and I help out my other grandchildren a lot.
The husband plus older kids not helping out is a separate issue which obviously needs addressing. Maybe that's why MIL doesn't want to facilitate it. Or maybe I'm of a pushover attitude because I'd have wanted to help if it were me!

No he’s too busy vaping.

Can’t the 16 year old go to Tesco and buy nappies?

Grandparents shouldn’t be expected to help with their grandkids because they don’t owe that to their kids but those same kids they aren’t helping should still help them out in old age? Lol.

GP often get to see their GK as much as they are bothered. They cut themselves off when they don’t visit or connect as well as not helping with childcare. Listen to parents and you will see many just want the GP to make an effort with building a relationship.

Fair point about op being the DIL - but they are still her grandchildren?

It's to their detriment???

So you asked her to come to you so she could watch the kids so you could go to the shop… sounds a bit faffy. Why didn’t you just ask her to grab you some nappies?

I could not and would not look after 5 kids, however this is also a DH issue - can you afford for him to work less hours? Why is his tiredness more important than yours? I am sorry but you had 5 kids together he has to come home and do more?

He also needs to talk to him Mum, perhaps she could take DS3 to football
every week?

I am firmly in the do not rely on GPs as they have done their time raising children camp- but your DH is still her flesh and blood, the same as your SiL so whats the issue? Perhaps she does feel overwhelmed like DH said??

Could you do a tesco express or uber eats shop they deliver all sorts including nappies.

Don't have five kids if you can't look after them. Sounds hellish to me and no one else's responsibility.

Just what i was going to say. Thats disgusting at any age , let alone 16 . Wonder what else is in it ?

Im sorry your feeling overwhelmed OP, with 5 kids and mostly doing it on your own , no wonder your struggling.

She sounds like a poor excuse of a grandma, if she can’t go to the shops and buy her grandchildren nappies.

What about your side of the family? Is there anyone on your side who can help?.

if finances allow, I’d be bulking up on nappies and other essentials.

But your dh can’t be using the excuse that he’s tired, he’s getting a full nights sleep at his own leisure , he then doesn’t get to come home and be a part time dad when his wife is doing it alone 24/7.

You also need a break.