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Original poster

Given detention for lateness on tube strike day

484 replies

Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:18

My child was given a detention today, despite there being a tube strike in London, which has caused travel chaos. They early but were apparently still late: roads are almost at a standstill it seems.

They get very upset by detentions, due to underlying neuro diversity.

Aibu to think that the school shouldn't give these on a strike day for minor lateness?

They usually give them, even if a child is only 1 minute late, but it seems wicked when it is out of their control.

OP posts:
birdling · 14/09/2025 10:56

Op, you said you used to live near the school but moved?
Is moving back an option? I suspect that this situation will come up a fair amount over the years.

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 14/09/2025 10:56

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:12

Sounds like an abuse of power from the school

honestly schools and those in positions of power can still be abusive … in the 1980s teachers could hit kids… ask anyone who was at school during that time about corporal punishment, it was accepted, but what used to happen was physical abuse … and would be seen as that now.

detentions are a form of humiliation and don’t actually correct behaviour. Humiliating people into submission does not work…..

if I were you I would contact the governors of the school and the LA and put in a formal complaint.

for a ND child a detention can be massively traumatising and is not appropriate- especially for being late during a tube strike…

just out of interest can you refuse detentions given to your child by a school ? I would be

I have told them I don't want my child to be doing these detentions. I don't know that we can refuse them. The school keeps on escalating if a child doesn't attend detention (rising to exclusion then suspension with worrying speed)

OP posts:
Original poster
Longingdreamer · 14/09/2025 10:54

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:07

You clearly can’t stand the school op…

Is your daughter happy there?

I never said that. I have issues with their Draconian punishments.

My daughter is happy with some aspects: she has brilliant friends. With a ND child that is very important, and for that reason she is no longer on waiting lists for other schools. It's a bit of an academic point anyway, as nowhere has space.

OP posts:
limescale · 14/09/2025 10:25

In my son’s school they don’t give detentions when there are unpredictable issues with public transport. What on earth does a detention teach the child in this situation?
Leave at 4am just in case?

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 10:19

EvieBB · 14/09/2025 07:20

I think it's just a turn of phrase......not literally meaning evil lol

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I actually find it quite abusive behaviour on behalf of the school … which is kind of evil …. It’s a very spiteful response to a situation out of everyone’s control

EvieBB · 14/09/2025 07:20

ManyShapesOfPasta · 09/09/2025 15:20

It's unfair, but wicked is a bit far.

I think it's just a turn of phrase......not literally meaning evil lol

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:34

Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 19:32

The problem was there was no way of predicting a suitable time.

Her discipline is fine. She is a straight A student: the type of student the school should be keen to have.

Show quote history

Also … buses were not running… many buses were terminating earlier and affecting the bus routes…. I waited 35 minutes for a bus that didn’t turn up… on the countdown it kept saying it was coming … but never arrived…. Those days it was all so unpredictable.

most of the people in agreement with school most likely do not live in London and have never had to navigate such a strike …

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:25

Baital · 14/09/2025 06:22

From what I remember the OP has said her DD has been on the waiting lists for other schools for several years, and they don't intend to send her younger siblings there.

Just in case you are building up to say 'why don't you move her then?'. Unfortunately 'parent choice' is more of a myth than a reality.

Show quote history

i had already seen that

my question was whether her daughter was happy there

no more. No less

Baital · 14/09/2025 06:22

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:07

You clearly can’t stand the school op…

Is your daughter happy there?

From what I remember the OP has said her DD has been on the waiting lists for other schools for several years, and they don't intend to send her younger siblings there.

Just in case you are building up to say 'why don't you move her then?'. Unfortunately 'parent choice' is more of a myth than a reality.

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:12

Sounds like an abuse of power from the school

honestly schools and those in positions of power can still be abusive … in the 1980s teachers could hit kids… ask anyone who was at school during that time about corporal punishment, it was accepted, but what used to happen was physical abuse … and would be seen as that now.

detentions are a form of humiliation and don’t actually correct behaviour. Humiliating people into submission does not work…..

if I were you I would contact the governors of the school and the LA and put in a formal complaint.

for a ND child a detention can be massively traumatising and is not appropriate- especially for being late during a tube strike…

just out of interest can you refuse detentions given to your child by a school ? I would be

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:07

You clearly can’t stand the school op…

Is your daughter happy there?

Feelingsosoblue · 14/09/2025 06:03

Do you live in London people saying the “child” should be on time ?

it’s impossible to leave early and get there on time… I left 1hr 30 minutes earlier than I usually do and I was still late for work.

the whole system totally shut down … everything was unpredictable … it literally came to a standstill

the school are being unrealisable and in my opinion abusive - in the real world employers give their employees leeway on strike days …. I would raise a serious complaint.

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:30

TartanBarmy · 09/09/2025 15:20

It was public knowledge there were tube strikes. Your DC should have left earlier to be at school
on time. School is practice for work. Imagine if surgeons just rolled in late because of a tube strike. Punctuality is important.

Many surgeons in London NHS were late in and that's with special dispensations such as parking in place.In fact much of NHS ground to a halt.
Typical ' I live in a bubble ' statement.

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:25

viques · 09/09/2025 15:20

Well presumably the teachers had managed to get in on time…….

Nope

NLG17 · 14/09/2025 05:22

Exactly this.
Also work in NHS central London, live outer London. Normally 50 minute commute each way. Many in NHS couldnt get in at all , many appts and ops canx. Hospital transport ran 10 hrs late because roads gridlocked.I left 4.30 am for a 7 am shift and STILL 40 min late. Then had to wait another 90 mins at end of shift as couldn't be relieved. Got home after 11pm knackered. Did this for 3 days.
The idea you can guestimate how long it takes in a 5 day strike to get from A to B is a clueless statement. Responsible adults cant get to workplaces on time , how are kids meant to?

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 22:29

SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:41

My DS was getting repeated detentions for the bus either not turning up or being late. We told the school and they made a list of kids on that bus route. as long as it was verified there was a bus issue, the kids didn’t get detention.

seems a more reasonable response to me

Edited

That sounds eminently sensible. Sadly this school is not sensible or reasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 22:27

MNdrama · 13/09/2025 19:52

You keep saying 'neurodiversity' but haven't mentioned any actual diagnosis

Maybe people are being obtuse, or maybe they just think you're using it because it's a buzzword

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What a bizarre perspective. She is autistic.

OP posts:
SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:45

FrippEnos · 09/09/2025 16:24

And cause more issues for the child.

What a brilliant piece of advice.

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Actually this shouldn’t cause issues at all. Blanket policies at times need challenging on an individual basis. My sons tutor has told him not to go to detentions before and has taken it up with the issuer.

SENsupportplease · 13/09/2025 21:41

My DS was getting repeated detentions for the bus either not turning up or being late. We told the school and they made a list of kids on that bus route. as long as it was verified there was a bus issue, the kids didn’t get detention.

seems a more reasonable response to me

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 20:02

It's not really relevant. OP was just explaining how her well behaved DD was extra upset by getting a detention. They are usually given for bad behaviour (or used to be anyway!), so probably plenty of well-behaved NT kids would also be upset at getting a detention for something outwith their control - but they might just be able to shrug it off more easily.

MNdrama · 13/09/2025 19:52

Longingdreamer · 10/09/2025 20:50

Thank you. I am not sure if people are being obtuse, or genuinely have no knowledge whatsoever of neurodiversity.

I have emailed the school asking for reasonable adjustments. It is utterly ridiculous that she has missed a whole day of school, rather than be a few minutes late, due to their inflexibility.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I can't wait for this strike to be over.

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You keep saying 'neurodiversity' but haven't mentioned any actual diagnosis

Maybe people are being obtuse, or maybe they just think you're using it because it's a buzzword

DonnaBanana · 13/09/2025 19:37

I’d tell my kid not to attend a detention as silly as that.

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 19:33

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 17:12

since Monday, and then Tuesday off, how’s it been?

Show quote history

Other days I was able to drive her in, due to my work pattern (I work shifts). There was still bad traffic, but she didn't have the problem of not being able to get on buses.

OP posts:
Original poster
Longingdreamer · 13/09/2025 19:32

CecilyP · 13/09/2025 17:29

Busses were running , others made alternative arrangements. This is why discipline is so poor in schools. Back up the school, your child was late so gets a detention for his poor planning

Surely, OP was equally responsible for suggesting a suitable time for her daughter to leave to catch the bus. If she backs up the school for punishing her DD, she would be unfairly punishing her child for her own mistake!

The problem was there was no way of predicting a suitable time.

Her discipline is fine. She is a straight A student: the type of student the school should be keen to have.

OP posts:
B33cka8 · 13/09/2025 18:53

It's important, not quite equivalent though is it!!

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