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Original poster

Given detention for lateness on tube strike day

484 replies

Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:18

My child was given a detention today, despite there being a tube strike in London, which has caused travel chaos. They early but were apparently still late: roads are almost at a standstill it seems.

They get very upset by detentions, due to underlying neuro diversity.

Aibu to think that the school shouldn't give these on a strike day for minor lateness?

They usually give them, even if a child is only 1 minute late, but it seems wicked when it is out of their control.

OP posts:
Original poster
Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:46

basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:42

Well presumably the teachers had managed to get in on time…….

Why would you assume that?

Thank you Basin! There is no evidence that all the teachers made it in on time.

OP posts:
basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:46

I guarantee many of those saying you were unreasonable have not been trying to navigate central London during the strike.

Of course they haven't

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:45

Secondary school?

Nitgel · 09/09/2025 15:45

Roads were awful yesterday in north London. Gridlocked. Buses were stuck. Everyone was late
Seems bit ridiculous to give detentions for this.

Comefromaway · 09/09/2025 15:44

My husband was a teacher. He has been late for work occasionally due to travel issues. No action was ever taken.

basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:43

Medical staff do run late by the way

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:43

Dolphinnoises · 09/09/2025 15:35

Can he not walk long distances for reasons of disability?

Due to a painful knee (this is long term and has been investigated). I wouldn't classify this as a disability necessarily.

OP posts:
basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:43

School is practice for work

Hence why I'm wfh

Imagine if surgeons just rolled in late because of a tube strike.

The surgeons I know drive.

ThisIsHowWeDoItThisIsHowWeDoIt · 09/09/2025 15:42

The school probably made a decision at the start of the week to decide how best to manage the situation.

If they decided that they would not give detentions for late comers, they have to weigh that up with what they think will happen. They may have decided that some pupils would have taken advantage of the strike and the school would have lost learning time for those students. And it’s the school and the teachers who are held responsible for both that and for attendance.

They definitely can’t have a system where good boys don’t get detention if they are late and naughty boys do. Or one where staff are choosing who gets detention and who doesn’t.

basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:42

Well presumably the teachers had managed to get in on time…….

Why would you assume that?

Comefromaway · 09/09/2025 15:42

I guarantee many of those saying you were unreasonable have not been trying to navigate central London during the strike. My dd used to work in central during the last lot of tube strikes and it was an absolute nightmare.

Cosyblankets · 09/09/2025 15:41

Hard to say without knowing what happened to everyone else. I assume staff were also late?
Majority late and given a detention then school are being ridiculous.
Just a handful late when everyone else on time seems fair enough to me

basinbasin · 09/09/2025 15:41

I think that's mean

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:41

Blissker · 09/09/2025 15:40

There are 2 ways to handle this I think. With one of our ND children we de-escalated detentions. Help them put detentions in a smaller box - coach them to care less about them. DD got a detention for not bringing a calculator to an English lesson once. It's silly, the teachers know it's silly, no one's going to get through school without a detention when they are issued for every tiny mistake so help them get to a place where they can handle it. Break down this idea that they are a terrible person/failure if they get one, because it is a false construct. Help them to let go of perfectionism, take the punishment on the chin and just crack on with life. A detention is only as big a threat as you let it be.

Option 2, which we have with our other ND child, is they are exempt from detentions at all times. They can't handle it, it's not fair, they never have to do them.

Either of these approaches, I think, are easier to work with than challenging an individual detention that's been handed out in line with the school's stated policy.

I did ask for option 2. The school refused this. I also asked for them to at least try to be fair when giving out detentions, if they were going to insist on them.

OP posts:
whoopdeedoo · 09/09/2025 15:41

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:38

So op are you saying your son was the only child late and given a detention?

or given a London school and most pupils from London…. Is most of the school in detention?

This logic doesn’t necessarily apply - eg in my office, half the people get mainline trains into work and arrive close to the office. Some live close enough to walk. Some cycle. Some will get driven somehow. Children going to school will be the same. OP has said her DS can’t walk the distance..

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:40

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:38

So op are you saying your son was the only child late and given a detention?

or given a London school and most pupils from London…. Is most of the school in detention?

I never said they are the only child late. Many were late and in detention today, I do not know the number, but the school has confirmed this. Some could walk in and were on time.

OP posts:
Blissker · 09/09/2025 15:40

There are 2 ways to handle this I think. With one of our ND children we de-escalated detentions. Help them put detentions in a smaller box - coach them to care less about them. DD got a detention for not bringing a calculator to an English lesson once. It's silly, the teachers know it's silly, no one's going to get through school without a detention when they are issued for every tiny mistake so help them get to a place where they can handle it. Break down this idea that they are a terrible person/failure if they get one, because it is a false construct. Help them to let go of perfectionism, take the punishment on the chin and just crack on with life. A detention is only as big a threat as you let it be.

Option 2, which we have with our other ND child, is they are exempt from detentions at all times. They can't handle it, it's not fair, they never have to do them.

Either of these approaches, I think, are easier to work with than challenging an individual detention that's been handed out in line with the school's stated policy.

whoopdeedoo · 09/09/2025 15:39

Two of my DCs are at schools in central London, one has been given a 30 min later start time this week and at the other, which is usually super strict on punctuality, they have suspended red notes for lateness.

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:38

So op are you saying your son was the only child late and given a detention?

or given a London school and most pupils from London…. Is most of the school in detention?

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 15:38

One thing we can be sure of is that there WILL be more to this!

whoopdeedoo · 09/09/2025 15:37

TartanBarmy · 09/09/2025 15:20

It was public knowledge there were tube strikes. Your DC should have left earlier to be at school
on time. School is practice for work. Imagine if surgeons just rolled in late because of a tube strike. Punctuality is important.

Pretty sure you weren’t trying to get anywhere in London yesterday, otherwise you would know how unfair this is. It took me nearly 2 hours to travel 5 miles this morning to get to work. I could have walked it more quickly and would have cycled, except for the fact I have a fractured ankle. It was chaos, buses packed, traffic gridlocked.

TeenToTwenties · 09/09/2025 15:35

I think giving detention for one off lateness is crazy. Maybe for the 3rd and subsequent times each half term. Especially on a tube strike day.

Dolphinnoises · 09/09/2025 15:35

Can he not walk long distances for reasons of disability?

Original poster
Longingdreamer · 09/09/2025 15:33

TartanBarmy · 09/09/2025 15:20

It was public knowledge there were tube strikes. Your DC should have left earlier to be at school
on time. School is practice for work. Imagine if surgeons just rolled in late because of a tube strike. Punctuality is important.

I work for the NHS and many staff members were late. It's unavoidable.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 09/09/2025 15:26

I know a few people who couldn't get to work yesterday because of the strikes - luckily they mostly have the kind of jobs that can be done at home.
A couple will have lost a days pay because they had to take an unpaid day off.
Buses were overcrowded in certain areas so even if someone left home an hour early there was no guarantee they would get on the bus.
I think the detention was unfair.
@TartanBarmy when previous strikes have been on I know of medical procedures being cancelled so actually surgeons might "roll in late" if they can get there at all.

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