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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Covid in 2025

131 replies

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 14:47

Hi all,

Long story short, my parents got back from holiday on Monday and both have Covid. Mum’s been unwell since Tuesday, Dad started feeling rough on Friday. Mum is better now.

They’re both retired, in their 60s, and usually look after my toddler two days a week while I’m at work.

They’re meant to be going to a funeral 150 miles away on Friday and, while there, also planning to visit elderly relatives.

I dropped tests over yesterday evening – Mum’s came back negative, Dad’s positive. I’d spent Saturday with Mum and, after feeling off last night, I tested again (negative the day before) and now I’m positive too.

I’ll be working from home until it clears – luckily that’s not an issue as my boss is lovely and very understanding.

Here’s the problem: Mum is determined to go to this funeral on Friday (it’s her friend’s partner who has passed, not a close relative). I’ve told Dad he needs to stay well away since he’s still testing positive. I’ve said he can travel down with Mum if he really wants, but he should let her attend alone, avoid staying overnight with Mum’s friend, and absolutely not go near my grandparents, who are in their 80s.

Mum insists I’m being dramatic – she says Covid is just like a cold now, and everyone’s vaccinated. I’m angry because I think she’s being selfish. Dad is listening to me (secretly relieved, I suspect, that he doesn’t have to go). What frustrates me most is that Mum is normally straight-laced, she never breaks rules or takes risks. She isn’t technically breaking any rules here, but in my opinion her attitude is irresponsible.

I’m 5 months pregnant and can’t take anything for the symptoms. Not only am I annoyed that I caught it from her in the first place, but I’m also worried she or Dad could spread it around like jam on toast and make a lot of people poorly.

AIBU? Thanks.

OP posts:
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Tagyoureit · 09/09/2025 15:02

Your mum is being incredibly selfish!

Even if i had basic flu, I would not be going anywhere near you, elderly parents or a massive group funeral!!

GlassofRosePorfavor · 09/09/2025 14:59

Not this again

Sassylovesbooks · 09/09/2025 14:59

Your Mum has tested negative now, so is OK to travel and attend the funeral. Your Dad though, isn't. We can't stay locked up, so therefore COVID needs to be treated as a heavy cold/flu. However, would your Mum be expecting your Dad to mix with your elderly grandparents and attend a funeral, with the flu???!! Knowingly spreading the virus around to others, by mixing with elderly/vulnerable people and attending an event (regardless if a funeral/wedding/party) is selfish and unnecessary. It's a case of 'I'm alright, so bugger everyone else' attitude. The funeral isn't a family member, it's the husband of a friend - so not imperative she attends. Seeing elderly relatives can wait until your Dad is better. Of course some people contract COVID and just get the sniffles, so probably wouldn't even think to test, or keep away from others. In this situation, they do know though!

JollyGreenSnake · 09/09/2025 14:55

YANBU. Your mother is being unreasonable. People with weaker immune systems still end up with long complex hospital admissions, some reliant on special mask systems to help them breathe, and some still end up needing a ventilator in ICU. And some people still die because of COVID infection. She can support her friend another way.

x2boys · 09/09/2025 14:54

Well as you say there are no rules lots of workplaces insist people come in as long as they feel OK even with covid
Are there going to be any medically vulnerable people at the funeral ?

LouH1981 · 09/09/2025 14:54

I’m currently in bed with covid right now. I’m usually fit and healthy but it has floored me. The vaccine can’t cover all strains so it helps but it’s not a complete fail safe. I don’t think you are being dramatic at all, I think your suggestion of your Dad staying in the accommodation is very sensible. What might feel like a cold for some people, can be very serious for others.
I hope you feel better soon xx