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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Covid in 2025

131 replies

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 14:47

Hi all,

Long story short, my parents got back from holiday on Monday and both have Covid. Mum’s been unwell since Tuesday, Dad started feeling rough on Friday. Mum is better now.

They’re both retired, in their 60s, and usually look after my toddler two days a week while I’m at work.

They’re meant to be going to a funeral 150 miles away on Friday and, while there, also planning to visit elderly relatives.

I dropped tests over yesterday evening – Mum’s came back negative, Dad’s positive. I’d spent Saturday with Mum and, after feeling off last night, I tested again (negative the day before) and now I’m positive too.

I’ll be working from home until it clears – luckily that’s not an issue as my boss is lovely and very understanding.

Here’s the problem: Mum is determined to go to this funeral on Friday (it’s her friend’s partner who has passed, not a close relative). I’ve told Dad he needs to stay well away since he’s still testing positive. I’ve said he can travel down with Mum if he really wants, but he should let her attend alone, avoid staying overnight with Mum’s friend, and absolutely not go near my grandparents, who are in their 80s.

Mum insists I’m being dramatic – she says Covid is just like a cold now, and everyone’s vaccinated. I’m angry because I think she’s being selfish. Dad is listening to me (secretly relieved, I suspect, that he doesn’t have to go). What frustrates me most is that Mum is normally straight-laced, she never breaks rules or takes risks. She isn’t technically breaking any rules here, but in my opinion her attitude is irresponsible.

I’m 5 months pregnant and can’t take anything for the symptoms. Not only am I annoyed that I caught it from her in the first place, but I’m also worried she or Dad could spread it around like jam on toast and make a lot of people poorly.

AIBU? Thanks.

OP posts:
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5
Delatron · 09/09/2025 18:47

Anyone with a nasty illness should stay away from others. Vaccines have largely worn off now. They prevent serious illness and death but don’t stop you catching it, being quite ill and getting long Covid which many healthy fit people are getting.

If your Mum is testing negative then she’s fine. Your Dad should test before mixing with elderly people.

I think we all hoped Covid would end up being like a cold. But each strain is different (I’ve had very mild ones before but the last strain was worse and I ended up with long Covid- zero health issues previously ). Latest strains are quite nasty. If we can do anything to stop spreading them around we should.

Pyjamatimenow · 09/09/2025 18:44

covid is really misunderstood and underestimated by some people. There is a whole spectrum of how it affects people. Some people barely know they have it, others die and everything inbetween. I personally was ill for at least 6 weeks with it last year having been positive for it in the first lockdown with barely any symptoms. I’d avoid spreading it loved ones if I knew I had it

YourLemonTiger · 09/09/2025 18:36

Irrespective of the virus involved whether it's covid, flu, chicken pox, slapped cheek, etc etc you should stay away from other people if there's a chance you could pass it on.
Isn't that just common decency?

Pragmatism · 09/09/2025 18:07
  1. shitty you weren’t given a heads up esp as pregnant.
  2. mum saying she’d go even if positive - shitty behaviour - kids are said by some to be the least affected group, yet 1,000 a week get long covid
  3. we are in 2025, not 2019
  4. why do some people give a shit if others test - why do you care so much
  5. she’s unlikely to be contagious by Friday (if I’ve got timings right and it’s 12 days)
  6. let others decide if they want her to visit - the relatives and those who will have to deal with the fallout if relatives get ill
zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 18:03

pinkypoo8 · 09/09/2025 17:59

They're VAXxed aren't they? so what are you worried about ? get a grip - I take it you are ? but if that's the case why have you all got Covid?

They are vaccinated yes, as am I. The vaccine doesn't prevent you getting it, it just lessens the symptoms to keep you out of hospital, but considering this is a new variant and I had my jab over 2 years ago, the protection of the vaccine might not be there now.

OP posts:
GreyAreas · 09/09/2025 18:02

You both have points of view that are reasonable, however as all three of you are adults, each adult gets to make their own decision. The others get to offer their opinion only.

pinkypoo8 · 09/09/2025 17:59

They're VAXxed aren't they? so what are you worried about ? get a grip - I take it you are ? but if that's the case why have you all got Covid?

Allthings · 09/09/2025 17:55

@Teajenny7 even with vaccination people still get long Covid which as your neighbour has found out can be devastating for a long time, with some not fully recovering.

I also know a number of people who are still testing. Some need to know they have covid to get antivirals that they need due to their general health.

Everanewbie · 09/09/2025 17:53

Waaaaaahhh!!!! Its vascular!!!

Teajenny7 · 09/09/2025 17:44

Your Mum is very selfish.
I know lots of people who still test.

My neighbour 39 never vaccinated got Covid last year and now he has long Covid and can no longer work.

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 17:42

tripleginandtonic · 09/09/2025 16:42

Your Dad will be fine by Fiday surely? Tbh, it's none of your business, why are you interfering?

Because I don't want my grandparents knocking on deaths door Great frankly. You sound just like her. Pretty sure you'd be saying otherwise if it was your family she was mixing with.

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 09/09/2025 17:40

OP, your parents are adults - they can do whatever they want.

I don't know anyone who has even taken a Covid test in years, or anyone who cares or thinks about it. You do - that's fine, it's your choice. But you can't expect other people to agree with you about something that's very much voluntary/optional.
And, by the way, you do know that medical professionals still go to work if they have Covid, don't you?

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 09/09/2025 17:38

Are you going to the funeral? If not, butt out! You are far too invested in what your parents do. You do you, let them do them.

Allthings · 09/09/2025 17:37

And what does your Dad think?

x2boys · 09/09/2025 17:24

Oneeyedonkey · 09/09/2025 16:20

Can you verify this, that covid patients are in ICU on a ventilator?

I mean some probably will be it's still a virus that affects people differently but we are not in a pandemic anymore and we can't live like we are.

Oldglasses · 09/09/2025 17:09

If your dad isn’t symptomatic he should go. It will have been a week since symptoms started.

lljkk · 09/09/2025 16:59

MaurineWayBack · 09/09/2025 16:03

Because it still kills more than the flu, RSV etc…..

Are you sure?

I don't know where to find total summary data, but this is giving influenza a lot more credit as killer than covid in July 2025.

Covid in 2025
PosiePetal · 09/09/2025 16:54

Honestly, vulnerability to colds and viruses is not a new thing. It existed before COVID! 20 years ago, my father was hospitalised several times during a course of chemotherapy because he had picked up a cold. When my children had Chicken Pox, we couldn't see my mum for a fortnight because she was having chemotherapy.

If someone is vulnerable, then they are vulnerable and it might not take much to make them very unwell. Whether that be a cold, a virus, COVID etc.. You can't live your life like it and therefore OP, I am with your mum.

piscofrisco · 09/09/2025 16:53

I’ve got Covid right now and feel awful. I tested in fact as I was worried it might be something worse and was relieved it wasn’t. But I’m still laid up with it. I am meant to take DD to uni for the first time on Saturday. I’m in two minds whether to do so or not (I can’t anyway if I feel as bad as I do now), but if I feel better I probably will. There are no rules around this now (and as a care home manager during covid I know an awful lot about care home rules) so I’m treating it as if I would flu. If I’m feeling better I will go, and just try to hand santiise and not to sneeze or cough all over anyone. I would say your Mum (and Dad by that point) should do the same.

Coffersmat · 09/09/2025 16:46

Your mother is extremely selfish.
I had it in June.
Was so ill for 12 days.
Lost my sense of taste and smell.
I still have tinnitus.
It took me a couple more weeks to recover fully.
Several friends have been the same, so sick.
We are all fit people and 60 ish.

tripleginandtonic · 09/09/2025 16:42

Your Dad will be fine by Fiday surely? Tbh, it's none of your business, why are you interfering?

Dorb · 09/09/2025 16:35

Berlinlover · 09/09/2025 16:05

I agree, I’m in remission from cancer and had chemotherapy last year. I work on a supermarket checkout and no doubt am serving people with Covid several times a day. People need to move on from the hysterical overreaction to Covid that existed in 2020/21.

And some of us have rare autoimmune diseases that affect the lungs and heart and to which Covid can be deadly. We are warned by our specialists that we are vulnerable, not only to the effects of Covid, but because of the life long treatment that causes immune suppression. Don’t get me wrong, it’s my body and my responsibility to wear my mask but I get fed up with this attitude that we’re all hysterical.

I was a fit and healthy middle aged parent when this illness hit me that was triggered by a virus. It can happen to anyone.

ARichtGoodDram · 09/09/2025 16:29

Nobody should be going to a funeral knowing they are ill. A basic cold, that's not making them feel horrific, is the very most they should go with.

Nobody would dream of suggesting that someone with chicken pox who felt fine within themselves should go to a funeral. Covid is no different.

I'm missing a funeral tomorrow because we've got hand, foot and mouth in the house. Not horrific or dangerous generally, but very unpleasant (especially for adults) so would be downright rude of me to take it to a small crem with people all close together.

Since the end of lockdown people have got worse at keeping their illnesses to themselves.

MyLimeGuide · 09/09/2025 16:25

She would be unlikely to be contagious still by Friday- tell her to wear a mask.

Oneeyedonkey · 09/09/2025 16:21

MaurineWayBack · 09/09/2025 16:03

Because it still kills more than the flu, RSV etc…..

Have you got the evidence to back this up?