Insecure women force men to lie

When a man shows up on MN to impart his superior wisdom, I just smile and get my popcorn.

Thanks for your patronising post Here's a tip for you - spend a bit less time trying to educate the female population at large and you'll have more time to sort out your shitty relationship at home.
Glad to help!

Being conflict avoidant is never a good look… my ex lied all the time about silly things so he could look like the ‘good guy’

You shouldn't be being belittled and shouted at in a healthy relationship at all. Food for thought.

Sounds tiring, but ultimately it’s your choice to remain in a relationship with someone who does this. You don’t like it? Leave. You don’t want to leave? Then put up with it without moaning.

Your gf is the issue. Not ‘women’.

Well said.

The sheer arrogance and entitlement of going on to a forum largely by and for women to tell them all that they are to blame for men’s failings and how they must behave, is staggering. And that doesn’t even touch upon the sheer stupidity of drawing conclusions from a sample group of one!

She must be good in bed or something

Insecure women force men to lie

Oh poor baby, having no agency in what words come out of your mouth...

Very brave of you to announce yourself as a man on Mumsnet 🤣🤣 don't worry, we don't all bite!

You're right, of course everyone should be able to trust the person they say they love and want to spend their lives with. Otherwise you shouldn't be together.

Hate to say it, but the whole thing sounds a bit toxic. She clearly doesn't trust you and is unfairly accusing you, so then to avoid arguments about imagined scenarios you're lying, which presumably if/when she finds out only feeds her insecurities and actually makes her concerns legitimate, because why should she trust anything you tell her? Bit of a vicious circle. I'd have a serious think about whether this is how you want to carry on...

If we had an ‘idiot classics’ this should go there. This is an issue in your relationship- not an issue with women that you need to intervene and solve.

please go away

As a woman who lived with an insecure and controlling boyfriend, who questioned every tiny thing I did, who would rather believe lies than the actual totally innocent truth. Get out now, let her deal with in her issues while you move on.

It isn’t a woman problem, it’s a controlling narcissist problem.

YABU. If you lie and then get caught out, it looks like you have something to hide.

Tell her the truth and if she goes mad, then end the relationship and tell her why.

This 💯

If your girlfriend is controlling and you feel forced to lie then why are you with her? You're a grown man. No-one made you do anything.

Aww bless you!

Maybe take a look at the many thousands of threads on here where women are being shouted at and belittled on a daily basis, before telling all us lovely ladies to trust our men.

If you don’t like how your girlfriend acts then leave her. The truth is though that many women are paranoid because of men and their lies, gaslighting and sneaking around. You say you don’t lie in your current relationship, but it kind of sounds like you do? You probably call it withholding the truth though.

Tedious.

Yabu. 1. To lie, yeah she might not like it but lying to her is going to make her feel more insecure and make things worse, if she didn't have a reason to feel insecure before she will now. She will find out whether you slip up or your ex wife or kids tell her. 2. To blame her for "forcing" you to lie, nobody can be forced to lie its a choice you are making because you don't want to deal with her if she's not happy about it.

The real solution isn't lying.
The solution is telling her the truth and calling her out on unacceptable behaviour on her part.
Then, when she refuses to take accountability, end the relationship.

When you start telling lies and you justify that because of someone elses behaviour, you're in the wrong relationship.

So you have a desperate, almost pathological need to lend party decorations to someone you barely have anything to do with and if you don't do it your adult children will whine to you about it because it's their party too.

None of these people are apparently solvent enough to buy their own decs.

And you've never lied.

And you've felt the need to start a thread mansplaining and lecturing women or hoping to elicit their advice because you're under the impression women exist to help you fix your relationship problems.

Grand.

Wait what.. that's exactly what he did.

anyway I don’t know why I’m posting other than to say to all you lovely women that you need to have trust in your partners and maintain that trust unless of course its broken.

Yes, we all needed some mansplaining to set us straight.

anyway I don’t know why I’m posting other than to say to all you lovely women that you need to have trust in your partners and maintain that trust unless of course its broken.

👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thank you for your services into fixing women!

You need to grow a pair and stop blaming your fears on others.

you can get the stuff down from the loft. Have you tried or have you told yourself you can’t because this or that will happen?

its a simple request.

He literally did though
If he had coming asking for advice on his situation he would have got very different responses I imagine

He literally did.

"...to say to all you lovely women that you need to have trust in your partners and maintain that trust unless of course its broken."

Again though, she is controlling and he needs to leave.